#taking them two at a time might be the best course of action
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late-to-the-party-81 · 3 days ago
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Hidden Affections
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AN: Thanks for the prompt, @buckyys-babydoll. I hope you enjoy this bit of fluff with a big dollop of embarrassment and mutual pining.
Not beta’d, so apologies in advance.
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Summary: You get tongue-tied around Bucky, which is inconvenient when you work with Sam and Joaquín. When he comes to the compound unannounced when you’re the only one there, you only have once course of action available — hide!
Relationship: Bucky x Reader (gender not specified but Sam calls you Sugar and Bucky calls you Doll and doll-face)
Word count: 1.6k
CW: Mild angst, fluff, unrequited crush (or is it?), embarrassment.
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You didn’t know what it was about Bucky Barnes that upset your equilibrium so much. Okay, scratch that, you did know. It was because he was so freaking hot, that’s what! But you were frustrated that it — he — affected you so much. You worked with Sam and Joaquín regularly and they were both very attractive men and yet you managed to keep your cool around them. So what was it about him?
When he’d come to compound on previous occasions, to share intel or just hang out, you’d found yourself acting distracted and clumsy. Your usual verbosity disappeared to be replaced with one word answers that you had to stammer out. You’d decided a few weeks back that the best thing to do when Bucky appeared was to politely excuse yourself, taking your folders and binders and maps with you to a room far, far away from the supersoldier and his piercing blue eyes. It didn’t seem to stop him from finding you, though. Every time he visited he sought you out, even if just to say good-bye before he left to do whatever it was he did now. Each and every conversation was excruciating, leaving you to wish that the ground had opened up and swallowed you.
You couldn’t even figure out why he was coming to find you. You were no-one. He had no connection to you — didn’t know you from before and didn’t work with you now. You were Sam and Joaquín’s ground support, here to help analyse intel and look for any patterns of incidents. You weren’t anybody special.
Also, just to add to your confusion and embarrassment, Joaquín, the absolute turd of a surrogate brother he was, had picked up on your discomfort and taken to teasing you about it whenever he could. Luckily both he and Sam were currently absent from the building, twirling around in the sky overhead, getting in some flight practice. It meant you could get on with you analysis in peace.
Until the entrance sensor pinged.
Your eyes flicked up to the security video screen to see who’d crossed the boundary of the compound’s land. There were no visitors expected today, but you weren’t worried though — Sam would have received the alert as well, and the fact that he wasn’t immediately on comms with you meant whoever it was probably wasn’t hostile.
The screen showed a large motorcycle heading down the drive and you immediately froze.
Bucky.
Bucky was about to arrive and the others were out and it was just you here and…
You tapped a button on the console in front of you to open the comms up.
“Uh Sam, were you expecting Sergeant Barnes, because he’s on his way in?”
“Hey, Sugar. He said he might stop by. Told him me and Joaquín would be training, but he said he’d just hang out with you and wait for us.”
You gulped. You and Bucky. Sitting here together. Talking.
No, no, no, no, no…
“Umm. Okay, Sam. Thanks. Uh. See you two in a bit, I guess.”
Disconnecting the comms, you dropped your head into your hands with a groan. What were you going to do? You were a professional, grown-up, but just being in his presence turned you into a tongue-tied teenager.
Another chime from the security monitor let you know that Bucky had now entered the building and would be in the same room as you in the next couple of minutes. A wave of panic washed over you, and you stood up sharply, your chair shooting backwards as you flapped your hands.
What to do? What to do?
With a manic gaze you looked all around the room for something – anything – that would help you escape this nightmare.
There! In the corner! The cupboard. Maybe if you hid in there Bucky would think you weren’t in the building and he’d leave?
You hurried over and pulled the door open. For a moment you froze – you’d forgotten that Sam had stashed his old, broken suits in here – but you could hear Bucky’s footsteps and your brain had already committed to this plan of action, so you shoved your way between the hanging vibranium fabric suits and pulled the door as far closed as possible behind you.
In the dark of the cupboard, your breathing sounded loud in your ears and you forced yourself to slow it down. You peered with one eye through the gap in the door and had to clap your hands over your mouth as Bucky walked in.
Fuck! He was beautiful. His jaw length hair wafted around his face and his t-shirt and jeans looked painted on. You swore you could see every individual ab on his stomach.
You watched as he looked around the room, seemingly perplexed. He strode over to your workstation and poked at your abandoned papers, before turning to look at your equally abandoned chair. He walked around it, staring at it, as though by doing so it might give up the secret of your whereabouts. Then his eyes flicked up and you swore they were momentarily locked with yours through the tiny slit in the cupboard door.
Swallowing down a squeak, you tried to push backwards into the musty and metallic smelling fabric. However, as you did so, your heel caught on something lying on the floor, probably one of Sam’s old boots and you staggered. Your hands shot out as you instinctively tried to break your fall and you grabbed at the suits, but they fell off the hangers. With an inelegant screech you fell over and the suits tumbled down on top of you.
A few seconds later, the world around you brightened, not that you could see much, what with a red white and blue suit covering your head.
“Hey, Doll. You alright there?” Bucky sounded a little amused and you were glad he couldn’t see your face.
“Yeah, I’m… uhh… just sorting out some old bits and pieces. I’m good. Really,” was your muffled reply, but internally you were shrieking to yourself. What were you saying? Really? You were trying to convince him that this was purposeful? He might technically be 108 years old, but he wasn’t stupid.
You blinked rapidly as your vibranium fabric shroud was removed from your head, and as your eyes adjusted you saw Bucky crouched in the cupboard doorway, a soft smirk on his face.
“You sure you’re not stuck in there?”
You felt the heat of embarrassment wash up your neck and you realised there really was no way of getting out of this with your dignity intact, what little there was left anyway.
“Okay, maybe I could use a little help.”
“Just a little,” Bucky repeated, holding his left hand up with the thumb and index finger a scant centimetre apart. “Come on, let’s get you outta here.” He reached out and you clasped his hand, realising this was the first time you’d ever touched each other. A quick, controlled tug and you were back on your feet and your free hand landed on his chest as you regained your balance.
“Umm, thanks,” you whispered and took a step back. However, Bucky didn’t let go of your hand and you jerked to a stop. You looked down to where he still held you and couldn’t believe that he was rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin. “Is, uh, there anything else I can help you with? Sam and Joaquín should be back soon. I could, umm, get you a cup of coffee or something?”
“Coffee would be great, Doll, but only if we go get some together.”
Your head snapped up. “What? I mean, pardon?”
Bucky grinned at you. “Come get a coffee with me. I mean, I could be wrong, but I think you might like me as much as I like you.”
“You like me?” Your voice rose in pitch with surprise.
“Uh, yeah. Quite a lot, actually,” and you saw a blush creep across his cheeks as he broke eye contact to look down at where your hands were still joined. “I thought I was making it obvious enough by always coming to find you each time I visited, but some winged ego-maniac told me that maybe I was being too subtle. And then a smaller, but similarly annoying baby-bird may have let it slip that I probably wouldn’t be turned down.”
The gears in your head started turning. “Did Sam tell you to come here today?”
Bucky looked at you from under his sinful, dark lashes. “Yeah. He said he has some things – intel – he needed to go through with me. Get my opinion.”
“Sonofa…” you muttered. “He and his boy- wonder are out flying circuits of the state, and not due back for a while. I think we’ve been set up.”
Bucky nodded at your words. “Well that explains some things. However, it doesn’t explain to me why you were hiding in the cupboard. Care to elaborate, doll-face?”
“Absolutely not. I plead the fifth.”
Bucky’s lips – those plush kissable lips – twisted in wry amusement and his eyes sparkled. “Hmm, can’t have you incriminating yourself, so I’ll let it go. This time. And only if you come for a coffee with me.”
“Are you always this pushy, Sergeant Barnes?”
“Only when I see something I want, and know that it’s mutual.” He stopped for a moment, his expression changing to one of curiosity. “It is mutual, isn’t it? Joaquín wasn’t yanking my chain?”
“You think I hide from just anybody?” You said with a chuckle. “Come on, Sergeant. You said something about coffee?”
“I did, didn’t I? Oh, and Doll..”
“Yes?”
“Call me Bucky.”
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THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY - Journal #8: Route 0 (Ending) Days 91-100. [MASSIVE SPOILERS]
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//Man...what a ride this was.
//But all good things must come to an...end? Well, at least it's ONE end. We still have what is probably 100 more to go at this rate.
//Before I start, I have to be completely honest about something.
//After I got to day 100 of the first route (Route 0) I kind of started binge playing through my second playthrough. Truth me told, I wasn't feeling very well last weekend, and was stuck in bed for most of the day, so I spent pretty much the whole time playing Hundred Line.
//The way I've decided to do things is I'm going to change up the format of the journal's a little bit. From here on out, after this one, I will be covering the routes in full, and my highlights from each.
//I know that feels like a bit of a dramatic change, but the truth is after all this time, I don't want to write about my experiences with this game regularly. I just kinda want to play it.
//The reason I bring this up is because there's one or two things I learn in my second playthrough that reflect back on here. Meaning I might use terminology that people who are following along with me haven't experienced yet. It won't be much, just one or two names.
//But once again...
DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED/SEEN THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY. I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT VERY SPECIFIC PLOT POINTS AND MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE GAME.
//So let's get started:
DAY 91:
//So this day starts off really shit. Which is super on point for just how bad these last couple days get.
//These days are also very long and there's a lot to cover in each of them, just so you all know. I remember being super scared of what might happen during them, and as it turns out, I had a right to.
//Eito shows up first thing in the morning acting shifty. He has been for the last few days ever since the Supreme Commander showed up with the negotiation offer to surrender. He's clearly been mulling it over for a few days now, and gets everyone to gether in the War Room to deliver his take on the matter.
//Eito suggests that there's truth in what both sides told us, and that the thing inside the Defense Room is indeed, as the Supreme Commander said, a weapon that will wipe out all the Invaders on Earth. While also taking us with it.
//And everyone just...believes that.
//Okay?
//So ultimately, Eito says that the best course of action would be to surrender after all, and submit to our enemy. This sneaky bitch really started getting on my nerves at this point, but the worse part is that everyone believes him.
//But what really gave me the chills about this whole scene is that when Nozomi gives an impassioned speech about it, it gets turned around on her SO quick.
//Because, somehow, everyone found out that Nozomi was connected to Kamukura General Hospital. They now all know the full story, in that Nozomi was part of whatever project it was that caused us to be sent here.
//Even though the only person who knew about any of that stuff was Takumi. When she told him privately in her room.
//But of course, Takumi never told anyone. We would have seen it if he did. And he never let anything slip either that someone could have caught attention to.
//Now, obviously, the would-be traitor of the school; the one who's been causing all of this shit to happen in the first place, has to be behind this. But of all the sneaky, shitty things they've done, even comparing it to killing Hiruko and the prisoner, burning all our food, and everything else, this takes the absolute cake.
//If there was ever an obvious sign that Eito was the bastard behind this, it's now. It's been a long time since Nozomi told us that info, which means he's been HOLDING ONTO THAT for a WHILE. Why else would the truth come out right when it's most convinient for him? Ammunition against the would-be voice of reason in this situation.
//I have grown to absolutely adore Nozomi over this playthrough and a half. She is one of my favourite characters in this game because she's pretty much the perfect person. Every time something bad happens to her like this, it just crushes my soul.
//What makes it especially bad is she blames Takumi for blabbing about it; not that I blame her. Again, Takumi is innocent, but he's also the only possible person who could have done it.
//And what I hate about this part of the story is the more he tries to get to the bottom of it, the more everyone insists that he's the one who tattled.
//Like...okay, genuine thing here. As much as I do love this game, and as much as I do love this cast, there is one thing that I REALLY don't like about them, at least in this route.
//Collectively, they are all SO...FUCKING...STUPID!!!
//I get that Eito has presented himself as a swell guy so far, but the reason why we're all on edge is because the Supreme Commander told us that by the end of these 100 days, we'd all be dead anyway. That's genuinely all she said, and yet, immediately, we jump to the conclusion that humanity are going to wipe us out along with the rest of the Invaders once we're done.
//We have...NO! PROOF! that this is actually the case. It was literally a SUGGESTION, and threat from one of our WORST ENEMIES!
//And yeah, I get that there's not an awful lot of reason to trust the people on the Satellite, because we haven't heard from them, but...that then automatically means that the Invaders are RIGHT!?
//What really pissed me off is how this same mindset almost immediately turned everyone against Nozomi. Nozomi, who has been a voice of reason, a team player, the LITERAL HEALER, and NOTHING but NICE to EVERYONE since the very start!
//Meanwhile, the Invaders have mutilated, absorbed, and done unspeakable things to some of our friends, to the point where Moko is dead, and Ima is stuck in Sirei's body, and yet, when things hit the fan, we believe THEM!?
//The fact that Nozomi is connected to Kamukura Hospital simply SUGGESTS she's a traitor. The Invaders are EVIL!
//It doesn't make ANY sense that EVERYBODY turns on Nozomi like this. Especially Kurara, who is not only against her now, but is basically the RINGLEADER of the opposition! And when Nozomi starts struggling with her rejection symptoms, Kurara tells everyone to just sit back and let her suffer!
//Like, I love Kurara, but this was LOW! Even for HER.
//Maybe there's some explanation to how it works, but I find no logic in it. It makes me SO ANGRY.
//Especially because this is just a rumor, and not only IS it a rumor, but Takumi can't even find out where it started from. Everyone seems to have heard the truth from a completely different person, until it loops back around.
//Takumi even points it out to everyone, and yet NOBODY finds it even remotely suspicious. NO! It HAS to be Takumi! HE has to be the one who did it.
//So this is an absolutely shitty situation to start this final arc off with. Everyone is going to surrender to the Invaders, Nozomi has been seperated from the group, and her relationship with Takumi has been compromised, in one swift motion.
//Everything went to shit just like that.
DAY 92:
//Day 92 is the last day of Route 0 where you get Free Time.
//I don't know if this was intentional, but the only person I can hang out with in the morning is Darumi. I.e. the one person who doesn't really give much of a damn what's going on about all this. Everyone else is just very against Nozomi, and Takumi too to an extent.
//The day ends with another dream of Karua; our first one in a while. But strangely enough, we've already seen this dream.
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//In fact, unless I'm misremembering, this is the first flashback to Karua we ever got in the game. It's the same flashback where we first see Karua's scar, and Takumi originally making the promise to protect her no matter what happens.
//Yeah, I think I know what this is leading up to...
DAY 93:
//Today starts off very interestingly, as the Tsukumo Twins show up to Takumi's door, and give him some very important information.
//To recall, during the earlier incident when Ima was captured by the Invaders and forcibly merged with one of them, his DNA was altered, allowing him to comprehend the Invaders’ language and, more significantly, their internal culture.
//Ima ended up using this ability to feed information to us from the other side, but he has kept a crucial secret that he's only now shared with Takumi.
//It turns out the Invader Commanders adhere to a deeply rooted religious code. This belief system governs their actions with unwavering rigidity.
//Among their most sacred doctrines is a strict prohibition: absorbing the Cryptoglobin of another life form is considered an unforgivable transgression, a taboo of the highest magnitude.
//This revelation casts recent events in a new and disturbing light.
//If the Invaders truly abide by their religious code, as Ima’s understanding suggests they do, then the deaths of the captured prisoner and Hiruko, whose bodies were found drained and mummified from Cryptoglobin extraction, could not have been caused by the Invaders.
//With this, Kako pieces together a chilling deduction: the perpetrator must be someone on the inside. Someone with access, knowledge, and the willingness to betray their own kind.
//In other words, there’s a traitor among us.
//COOL, IT ONLY TOOK IS 93 FUCKING DAYS!
//Again, the sheer stupidity of this cast to not think for a moment that there might be a troublemaker in the group really gets under my skin for no reason.
//At the very least, the twins don't think it's Takumi, which is why they confide in him.
//Shortly afterwards, Eito shows up at Takumi's door, and let me tell you, I was NOT happy to see him.
//But he shows up in the afternoon telling Takumi that they'll all be celebrating their "last night" since all of them have given up on fighting, and hope to end the war tomorrow.
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//Kyoshika is somehow drunk off of soft drinks...
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//And DARUMI IS DOING DRUGS!
//Amidst the, ahem..."celebrations," Nozomi enters the cafeteria to very grim reactions. She tries one more time to get everyone to snap out of it and remember what we're supposed to be fighting for. But nope. Everyone's already given up. They're just completely checked out.
//Eventually, Nozomi realizes there's no getting through to them, and accepts it. Not because she agrees, but because she knows she can't force people to care.
//Still, she makes it clear she's not backing down. She's going to keep fighting the Invaders, even if it means doing it alone. Despite being sick with her rejection symptoms all by herself, she's fine dying so long as she's dying for what she believes in.
//At the same time, she says she won’t mess with whatever deal the rest of us want to make with the Invaders. If we’re going for peace or trying to find a way home, she’s not going to get in the way.
//Nozomi is such an angel, honestly. This last part of the story, as well as what I've seen from her in my first route so far, has solidified her as the absolute best girl. I think she might even beat out Hiruko and Kurara for me now.
//I said it already, but in general, she is just incredibly admirable, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this frustrated with the main cast. They’ve been treating her like garbage lately, and she doesn’t deserve any of it.
//I love Nozomi. I know that the rest of the cast is scared and never really wanted this in the first place, but it somehow feels like she’s the only one actually acting like a reasonable human being.
//The day ends with Takumi going to bed, and the UFB shows up again. Unfortunately, it seems that time when he rescued us was a one and done, because I can't hear him anymore.
DAY 94:
//...Today is the day. Where ALL of it goes to shit.
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//Before all that though, it took me a little while, but I finally noticed something about this. In the last few days, Sirei has been introducing himself with this screen of puppets of all of us. And even though I've seen it a few times at this point, for some reason, I only just now noticed that Nozomi isn't included in it.
//I mean, makes sense, but still, I'm ashamed of my own narrow-mindedness. You'd think I was a member of this game's cast.
//So the school alarm goes off, and we all meet up in the War Room, everyone except Nozomi. Eito claims he tried to talk her into joining us, but honestly, I’m not convinced. It feels like he didn’t even make the effort and just said he did to save face.
//Then we all suit up in our Class Armor just in case, and head outside to meet the Supreme Commander of the Invaders. Who begins her speech by removing her mask.
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I didn’t catch it on my first run, but on my second playthrough after finishing the main game, I found out her name is V’ehxness (pronounced vesh-ness). By the way, that is not an easy name to spell, and it kills me every time.
//Also, the rest of the Invaders have similar names that are either difficult to spell, or they are pronounced a way that they reasonably shouldn't be. For example, the blimp commander that was dropping eggs is called Quenzelle, but his name is pronounced "quen-zel-uh."
//The only one who has a normal name is the character who the group took prisoner, who's real name is apparently Eva.
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//This exchange made me laugh more than it should have. Even at her worst, Kurara contnues to be so entertaining and unhinged.
//And yeah, I do agree with Gaku. She would be hot if she wasn't so hopelessly evil, as we'll soon see.
//Ima mentions that taking off their masks is a huge deal for the Invaders. Much like the whole thing about not absorbing Hemoanima, it's a sacred taboo, and they only do it when they are surrendering. We saw Eva do the same thing earlier in the story.
//V’ehxness starts speaking, and Ima translates most of what she says. Then she pulls out what looks like an escape pod for us, basically offering a way off the planet and back to the Artificial Satellite.
//I feel like Takumi’s not falling for it. He’s finally using that one brain cell. That, or he's still just too worried about Nozomi.
//And hey? Guess what? IT WAS A FUCKING TRAP! BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WAS!
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//The "escape pod" is actually a dome-shaped cage that neutralizes our Hemoanima powers, just like the ones they used in the school courtyard. It traps everyone inside, except Takumi. And just to make things worse, V’ehxness grabs Ima and takes him hostage.
//What makes all this even more shocking is that it completely goes against the Invaders’ taboos, so it's strange that V’ehxness would do this and break the sacred rules of her people...EXCEPT there's ONE thing that we never considered.
//V’ehxness sees herself ABOVE GOD. Or rather, her ultimate goal is to become the "new God of this world."
//Which, honestly? That’s such a bold character move, and a really clever way to go about this scene, as obvious as the trap was. Just setting up all these expectations for how the Invaders behave, then having their supreme leader break them out of a lust for power.
//And then, in true no turning back fashion, she kills Ima right after she’s done talking.
//I haven't seen enough of V’ehxness to call her a top-tier antagonist yet, obviously. Honestly, I'm not too crazy about her, but...that could very well change in the future.
//As much as I hate to admit it, I was pretty gutted that Ima ended up getting squashed. I finally started to like him a lot.
//But Ima's death, as sad as it made me, does not COMPARE to the next segment and the next character to fall.
//Even though she’s in no shape to fight, Nozomi shows up to save the rest of us from the trap. Everyone’s caught inside the pod, and here she is, charging in like a total badass, despite barely being able to stand.
//Deadass, Nozomi is the only person here who deserves to make it out of this alive…and of course, she’s probably not going to.
//Then comes the cutscene, and after that, the first round of the final battle kicks off, with just Takumi and Nozomi on the field. I figured out pretty quickly that I had to destroy the cage to free the others. That part was fine. But then I…kind of accidentally got Nozomi killed.
//Yeah...
//See, in every battle before this, when Nozomi "dies," she just retreats. Obviously, she can't be brought back with the Revive-O'-Matic, and it's always been more of a story thing than a gameplay thing. So I had her self-destruct, to heal both herself and Takumi, thinking she’d be fine.
//But...she died. And I lost the battle in the one round where you're not supposed to lose it.
//Whoops!
//Weirdly, it worked out in a way, though. On the redo, I got the 300% Voltage bonus, which let Takumi go nuclear with his ultimate moves and end the round super fast. So…silver lining?
//And then it happens. Exactly what I KNEW would happen, but I hate it all the same.
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//Once the pod is finally destroyed, we get a brutal cutscene. V’ehxness appears behind Nozomi in a blink, full-on "nothing personal, kid" mode, and stabs her right through the back with that monstrous sword.
//I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DIE AND I’M STILL SO ANGRY.
//Side note, I want to give an MASSIVE shoutout to Jay Rincon; Takumi's English Voice Actor here. He's been consistently great throughout this game, but he went to TOWN with this scene, and he nails the emotion here. Raw, frantic, and completely believable.
//Seriously, give this guy more roles. He, Christopher Ragland (Shouma), and obviously Elsie Lovelock (Kurara), are my absolute highlights of this game.
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//While holding her, desperate to save her, Takumi lifts Nozomi’s shirt to stop the bleeding///only to freeze...
//Because there it is. A surgical scar across her midsection. One that looks EXACTLY like Karua’s.
//I KNEW it! I CALLED it! I FUCKING KNEW that the scar was gonna be what gave it away!
//So...yeah! Looks like Nozomi was Karua after all!
//But it’s not a triumphant reveal. It’s devastating. Because on the one hand, we still don’t know why she forgot him, or how Karua became Nozomi in the first place. And we don’t get answers, because Nozomi dies in Takumi's arms before she can explain anything.
//Other playthroughs I guess.
//But the real issue is that the one person Takumi has been fighting for since day one, the reason he endured all of this...just dies in his arms.
//And now she’s gone.
//The aftermath is just…rage. Pure, burning grief and RAGE. And it's EPIC!
//Takumi pulls himself together just enough to rally the others. And for the first time in 94 days, the Special Defense Unit is finally FULLY united. Not by hope, not by duty, but by shared loss and fury.
//Ima and Nozomi died right in front of us, and we couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. At this point, our fears, doubts, and personal agendas don’t matter anymore.
//All that’s left is REVENGE. The only thing we care about now is KILLING the FUCK out of these Invaders! Every last one of them!
//...But it ends up being weirdly more complicated than it should be.
//Out of nowhere, the smaller enemies that we have been battling throughout the game, suddenly begin to speak in fluent English. In real human words, not in twisted alien growls or screeches.
//Furthermore, they are not yelling threats. They're in tears. begging and pleading to be spared for combat. Some cry out for help like frightened kids. They should things like, "Where is my daughter?" and “Mommy!”
//This threw me off. I wasn't expecting it; I'm not sure how anyone could.
//Like Ima hinted earlier, the Commanders, like V’ehxness, are a separate species entirely from the grunts we’ve been mowing down. They're lab-grown and synthetic. But if that’s true…does this mean the foot soldiers aren’t aliens at all? Are they people? Humans, or something close, transformed into monsters and thrown into war as disposable weapons?
//Wouldn't put it past this game honestly.
//I actually don't like this. Like, in a meta way, I get what the game’s doing, but gameplay-wise, hearing them scream and cry like that while I’m trying to fight is more than a little distracting.
//Is there a setting to turn off the human voice lines? Because…yeesh. I mean I DOUBT it, but I'm telling you, that part sucked the enjoyment out of the final fight for me like a straw.
//The fight itself isn’t full of gimmicks or puzzles, it’s just brutal. I can’t even put my finger on what made it so hard. The enemies hit way harder than usual, and the pressure never lets up.
//It didn’t help that, mid-cutscene, the game decides to kill off my healer! Thanks for that!
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//But that final cutscene? Worth it! Takumi loses it completely, and rushes the final boss, screaming like a FUCKING ANIMAL! He just snaps. The pain, the rage, everything comes pouring out as he drives his blade straight through V’ehxness!
//But then, something weird happens. By absorbing V’ehxness’s Cryptoglobin, which...he somehow was able to do through his sword instead of his Infuser, Takumi somehow gains the ability to understand the Invaders’ language.
//So for him, V’ehxness's dying words are in his own language.
//With this new power, he tries to get answers. But even on death’s doorstep, V’ehxness won’t give him much. She kind of just laughs at him and taunts him. Tells the group that killing her means nothing. That their fate is sealed, and what’s coming is worse than death.
//You know, that cliche villain bullshit.
//Also that we were pawns too, forced to fight in a war none of us wanted, and turned into weapons just to die meaninglessly, just like the monsters we've been fighting all along.
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//And then… Kako absolutely snaps.
//She just watched her brother, someone she barely got back, get murdered right in front of her. There’s no mercy left in her. Once V’ehxness finishes talking, Kako goes full-on berserker and tears into her. She stabs her again, and again, and again, until there’s barely anything left.
//Yeah, you go girl!
//Again, of all the characters in this game that I felt bad for, because their life just SUCKED because of this war, it's Nozomi and Kako. And even to the end, those two were done the dirtiest by this game, no question.
//This final fight is also the first fight in the game where I didn't get an S-Rank finish.
//Not surprising, though. I was barely keeping my shit together, trying to plan everything out and figuring out who needed to go where. And again, when Nozomi is straight up taken out of the fight by being killed in the cutscene, the fights in this game just get that much harder.
DAY 95:
//It's a lie!
//That WASN'T the final boss! It's time for the ACTUAL final boss! God help me!
//The next day, after holding a quiet funeral for Nozomi and Ima, we all come to a conclusion, largely led by Eito, but we all ultimately agree to it. If we’re going to die here, we’re not doing it without answers.
//We’ve spent this whole time defending something in the Defense Room, this supposed weapon of mass destruction, without even knowing what it really is. So we decide it’s time to find out what’s behind the Defense Room door once and for all. Eito steps up to lead the charge, and we head to the Defense Room door, ready to smash it down with our Class Weapons.
//I took a moment to talk to everyone before I started the final assault. The mood’s heavy, as you very well might expect. Funny that losing Nozomi basically makes everything feel pointless and lonely. That's the true power of a heroine right there.
//Everyone also kind of admits that the trap WAS obvious; just that they didn’t want to see it. We were scared and clinging to any chance of peace, even if it meant ignoring Nozomi.
//In hindsight, it’s clear that if her secret hadn’t been leaked, we probably would’ve listened. But someone made sure that didn’t happen. It's a clever mood that makes my teeth itch.
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//Just as we’re about to break into the Defense Room, the Undying Flames Boy appears, not just speaking to Takumi anymore, but in front of the whole group.
//And now Takumi can actually hear him clearly for the first time.
//Honestly, why was it that only Takumi was the one who saw the boy? I know that he appeared in front of Tsubasa that one time, but why was every other time him seeking out Takumi? Because Takumi was the only one up at night? I doubt that.
//But we learn that apparently, the boy’s been inside the Defense Room the whole time. And now, thanks to the Cryptoglobin Takumi absorbed from V’ehxness, he’s able to "tune in" to the boy’s voice. No one else can hear him though, so Takumi has to translate.
//We start getting real answers.
//First off, the way the flame boy looks is not his actual appearance. It’s an avatar made from Cryptoglobin, same as his voice. His true body is what’s locked away behind the Defense Room door.
//On top of that, according to what he says, like the rest of the Special Defense Unit, he was brought to the school under the pretense of protecting humanity. But he was different. Due to some sort of genetic anomaly, he ended up with an incredibly rare and powerful form of Cryptoglobin. So powerful, in fact, that he can generate and control the Undying Flames. All of them, including the massive wall of fire surrounding the school.
//He’s been in the Defense Room this entire time, gathering and charging that power, stockpiling it for 100 days. According to him, when fully charged, the Undying Flames have enough destructive force to wipe out all life on Earth. Specifically the Invaders.
//Neither Sirei, nor anyone else, ever told him the real reason he was doing this. Like us, he was just following orders.
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//Eito steps forward. Calm but serious, he asks the boy to open the door and let us see what’s inside. And the boy agrees.
//Looking back, it's really clever how this bit of dialogue managed to slip by me. Eito claims that he can't hear the boy, yet he still somehow knew that the boy's apparition wasn't his real body. Takumi even hesitates upon hearing it. But I didn't catch it. Takumi himself didn't really mention that part, at least, he didn't vocalise it.
//Inside, the air is dense with heat and silence. At the center of the chamber stands the so-called "superweapon." It’s a series of missiles lined up in a circular array, each one charged with the Undying Flames.
//The plan is to launch them across the globe to completely purge the planet of Invader life. It's a scorched-earth solution, the kind you don’t come back from.
//The boy, his avatar gone and speaking to Takumi purely through the cryptoglobin, explains everything. He’s been here for nearly 100 days, trapped inside a capsule at the heart of the room. Unable to move. Unable to speak. His body’s been hooked up to the system, and all it’s done is drain him. Every drop of his Cryptoglobin is siphoned away to power the missiles.
//It’s a fully automated process. Whatever he really is, he was manufactured to be a living fuel source. A weapon. Not even given a name.
//He tells us that the avatar he projected was the only way he could ever reach out, to try to be part of the Special Defense Unit. But until now, even that was limited. He couldn’t speak to anyone, not until Takumi absorbed V’ehxness’s Cryptoglobin and could finally resonate with his voice.
//He laments that he couldn't have talked to us all earlier. And it’s true. Looking back, he was trying to warn us. I mean, we knew that the whole time, but it's still kind of gutting to hear it.
//The real surprise here comes from when Takumi walks closer to the capsule, and peers in to see the boy's real body...
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//Viva Reverie Voice: It was a BABY??
//Yeah, so, this is the real body of the Flame Boy. Barely more than a newborn, yet burdened with enough power to destroy the world, lmao.
//Shocking revelation, but before Takumi can even react, or even process the horror, everything explodes into chaos. A scythe whips through the air and slams into the side of the capsule.
//Takumi barely dodges it, then gets shoved down the steps by this unknown assailant. Who is it?
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//Bro, who the fuck else?
//Congratulations Hundred Line. You have officially gained the Kodaka Krown for worst kept secret in any of these types of games.
//Eito walks up to the capsule like it’s nothing, slices it open, and straight-up kills the baby. Then he absorbs all of the Cryptoglobin for himself, making him superpowered.
//Now...I...Well...*sigh*...
//Okay...I'm just gonna level with you guys on something.
//When this game came out, I was trying to dodge spoilers like the matrix. But I admit that I knew this whole time that Eito would eventually betray everyone because I got spoiled on that very early on.
//Again, worst kept secret. Even among the fandom.
//So every time something happened in this game that actively went against what we were trying to do, I knew that Eito had to be somehow responsible for it. This was something I was made aware of accidentally very early on.
//HOWEVER!
//I think of all secrets in this game that I could have gotten spoiled on in advance, I'm glad it was this one. Because this game has so many secrets and plotpoints, that I can't be hit with ALL of them. The reason I'm glad that I figured this one out is because one: even though I knew Eito was evil, I didn't know how it was going to be revealed. I never saw the cutscene, I just got given that information.
//As long as the reveal was performed well, I think I would have been okay with it. And thankfully, the scene itself, and the way this final fight happens, is pretty damn masterful.
Two: Once again, Eito being a villain was as obvious to me BEFORE the game even came out. When you take the basic premise of Nagito Komaeda, and recreate his mannerisms into another character, Eito in this case, you can't expect me to NOT be sus of him. So even though I got spoiled, it was more of a confirmation of something that I had already figured out a long long time ago.
//The moment that shit started to happen internally, I knew that someone was up to shit, and he was the easiest person to point the finger at.
//And three: even though I knew that Eito was doing so much awful stuff, I never found out WHY. And now, I know. It's far from what I expected, but you know what? I fuck with it.
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//He looks full-on evil now, holy hell.
//What I really love about this ensuing scene is that Eito is clearly tired of having to put up this friendly front for 95 days straight. So now that the full scope of his deviousness is revealed, he's just out confessing to EVERYTHING he did, in complete, total detail, even if it's unnecessary. For example, he explains that he was able to kill Sirei by taking him out in one hit, so even if Sirei blew him, he could be revived with the Revive-O'-Matic, while Sirei himself wouldn't be able to come back.
//Then he finally lays out his motive, and...yeah, it’s not what you’d expect. He’s not working for the Invaders, and he’s not trying to win the war for either side.
//He doesn't care if the Invader's win so long as humanity LOSES. For he wants humans to go extinct!
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//Eito’s whole philosophy is based on this really dark, nihilistic worldview. He believes human beings are inherently cruel, selfish, and broken. That all of our conflicts, wars, and destruction, especially what we did to the Earth, prove we’re not worth existing. In his mind, the only moral thing left to do is wipe us out before we ruin anything else.
//It turns out Eito was born with some sort of rare cognitive disorder. The game doesn’t name it, but the way he describes it is messed up. He literally sees other people as monstrous, twisted things. He can’t stand the way humans look, nor can he bear the sound of human voices, and he’s hypersensitive to their scent. He’s been physically and mentally disgusted by everyone since birth.
//As a kid, he isolated himself and spent most of his time in the library, which he actually does mention earlier in the game. While hiding away, he read up on humanity’s history. But instead of finding hope or inspiration, all he saw was an endless cycle of violence, war, and suffering.
//It made him believe that his view of humans was the correct one, and that it was the world that was broken, not him.
//So by the time he arrived at Last Defense Academy, he saw it as the perfect chance. If he could stop the Special Defense Unit from winning, he could finally make sure humanity disappeared for good.
//He admits to everything. Most of it during the ensuing boss fight actually. Some people might not like it, but I am actually all for Eito going on a yap spree in his fight, because again, he’s just done pretending. He starts monologuing, going into full detail about everything he’s done, whether we need to hear it or not. It honestly feels like he’s relieved to finally be himself, as am I.
//He killed Sirei and Hiruko to cut us off from our guiding hands, sabotaged our food supply so we almost starved, knocked out Takumi and left him to die, freed Eva so she could kidnap Ima, then killed Eva once she’d done it, and most importantly of all, he started the rumor about Nozomi being an outsider to turn everyone against her.
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//Turns out he was literally hiding under Takumi’s bed during the private convo with Nozomi and overheard the whole thing. That’s how he knew about her being from outside the group.
//I actually got the heebie jeebies by the way, from seeing this scene. This is the creepiest thing he does and it makes my skin crawl.
//And while Kurara and the others are understandably furious, Eito throws it back at them. He says all he did was spread the info. THEY were the ones who decided to stop trusting her and belittled her like they did. In his eyes, that just proves his point even more.
//And I do actually agree with him on this one. Eito just took advantage of what he believed humans were like, and these dumb motherfuckers proved him right.
//Also, all those scenes earlier in the game where Eito looked sick or had chest pain was just him having a full-blown visceral reaction to watching the others succeed. He was literally getting physically ill from seeing everyone work together and make progress.
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//Now that he’s got the Undying Flame boy's Cryptoglobin inside of him, he’s done pretending. He’s sick of holding back. He wants to finish the job and kill every single one of us, just because he genuinely believes the world will be better off without people in it.
//And honestly, for how unhinged it is, the game does a pretty solid job making his logic feel internally consistent. He’s not a mustache-twirling villain. He’s just a guy who looked at humanity, didn’t like what he saw, and decided to end it.
//Much like Ultron, to be completely honest. At least Ultron from the MCU.
//So the boss fight...First of all, we can't talk about this final FINAL boss without talking about...the music...
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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?
//What the hell kinda drugs was Takada on when he decided to pick this as the boss theme!?
//Eito’s boss theme is this insane track called “RUMBLE” by Paledusk, a pretty huge Japanese band. Apparently, they’re big enough now that they actually overtook Babymetal on the Apple Music metal charts, which is kind of wild considering how long Babymetal held that top spot.
//So yeah, pretty bold move by Kodaka and Takeda to use a song that current and chaotic for the final fight. But it weirdly fits.
//The song itself is all over the place, like genre whiplash in the best (and most confusing) way. It really hammers in the feeling that everything has gone off the rails.
//And honestly, that matches the fight itself perfectly, because the Eito boss battle is FUCKING BRUTAL! Like, GENUINELY hard.
//My ENTIRE party got wiped out except for Kurara, Yugamu, and Gaku. And Gaku basically kamikaze'd himself just to land the final hit. I’ve played a lot of tough fights in this game, but this one actually made me sweat bullets.
//Eito has total movement freedom on the battlefield; he just flies wherever he wants, no terrain restrictions at all. He hits a massive area, counterattacks every time you land a hit, and occasionally summons reinforcements to keep the pressure on. Plus, he can set parts of the map on fire, so stepping on those tiles deals constant damage.
//And since he absorbed the baby’s Cryptoglobin, his Specialist Skill has been powered up. A bunch of his attacks randomly inflict debuffs, which makes it harder to avoid damage or move out of dangerous areas. Basically, if you’re not planning carefully, he’ll grind your team down fast.
//The fight strategy is kind of the same as always. Take out the adds, whittle down the boss, keep your healer alive. But actually pulling that off is way harder here. He just has way more health and does a ton more damage. You’re basically in survival mode the whole time.
//Eventually, I did manage to take Eito down, but it doesn’t feel like a win.
//The moment he killed the baby powering the superweapon, the whole thing shut down permanently.
//What that basically means is that everything we've done, and everything we fought for, as well as Nozomi and the others' deaths have been completely, wholly meaningless. Right at the last hurdle, Eito screwed us all over, which means this pointless war has become just that. So much bloodshed, no longer for a reason.
//And to top it all off, Eito’s last words set up for something else, would you believe it. Apparently, once he absorbed the Prisoner’s Cryptoglobin earlier, like Takumi, he also gained the ability to understand the Invaders’ language. And he found something major out. But instead of telling us what he learned, he just dies with that knowledge, leaving us in the dark.
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//So Takumi has no choice. He kills the guy who used to be his friend, absorbs Eito’s souped-up Cryptoglobin, and now carries the burden of everything that’s happened—along with whatever horrible truths still haven’t been revealed.
//Rest in piss, Yaoi Fangirls.
DAY 96:
//So yeah, these last 5 days are basically the wind down after all the shit. After Eito kills the baby powering the whole system, pretty much everything in the school shuts down. The Defense Room loses power, all of the O'-Matics shut off, and even the Undying Flames that were keeping the school sealed off just vanish.
//The entire facility basically goes dark, like all the tech and security stuff we relied on for 95 days is just offline now. So even if the Invaders don't kill us, our limited resources will.
DAY 97:
//Takumi is completely wrecked at this point. Nozomi, who he finally realized was actually Karua, the person he’s been trying to protect and reconnect with this whole time, is dead. Eito, one of the only people he thought he could rely on, also turned out to be manipulating everything and is now dead too.
//Basically, the two people who mattered most to Takumi are gone, and with them, so is any clear purpose or direction.
//His whole reason for fighting, surviving, and pushing forward was all tied to Nozomi/Karua. Now that she’s gone, and with Eito’s betrayal still fresh, Takumi is left standing in the ruins of everything, completely empty.
//It's like everything that gave his life meaning just got pulled out from under him, and all that’s left is this huge, aching void.
//This is really difficult to watch for someone who has grown to just love Takumi. I think he's a brilliant protagonist, despite what people say. Fundamentally flawed in all the places it matters, but someone strong enough to bear them.
//More on that in a bit though. Point is this sucks for him and I feel miserable.
DAY 98:
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/FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-!
//Okay, yeah, not gonna lie, this was a literal jumpscare for me. Just came out of nowhere and sent my nerves into hyperspace.
//When the scene happened, Takumi described his body getting really hot, and then all of a sudden, the undying flames appeared in his room, and I deadass thought that what was happening is Takumi was becoming the Undying Flames boy.
//In one of two ways. Either because he absorbed Eito who absorbed the baby, the power of the Undying Flames is now within him, which...is not TOO far off from what happened. But the other alternative was something I'd thought of for a while.
// @rpganon had a theory a while back that the UFB was an alternate version of Takumi. Takumi possesses a special ability that allows him to send his memories back to his past self, which explains the in-game retries and redos. He suspected that the UFB might be an iteration of Takumi who has experienced multiple time loops, returning to the past to warn the current Takumi about his future.
//I did think this was legit, but it seems like they're entirely seperate characters at this point. However, I really did think that maybe, this was where Takumi would transform into the UFB, and the timeline reset with HIM in the pod, and a NEW Takumi Sumino taking the place of the character.
//Ultimately, that's not what happens. But I will give them credit for coming up with something that interesting.
//Speaking of the UFB, he actually shows up again!
//Turns out, because Eito absorbed the baby’s Cryptoglobin and then Takumi absorbed EITO, that power is now inside TAKUMI. So now Takumi basically has all, or at least most, of the power the UFB had.
//This gives UFB just enough presence left to speak to Takumi one final time. And even though his real body was that of a baby, he says he’s actually the same age as the rest of the SDU. He just never physically aged because his body wasn’t strong enough to handle the insane amount of power he was born with. It’s like his body stopped growing to keep from being torn apart by his Cryptoglobin. A huge tradeoff for being born with that kind of power.
//Even with all his strength, he admits that he doesn’t really understand what Cryptoglobin or Hemoanima truly are. He just knows that he’s been stuck in the Defense Room his whole life, treated as more of a weapon than a person. He was mostly raised by Sirei, but even that was more like being managed than parented.
//Because of how unstable his power is, he couldn’t let anyone get close to him. He never had the chance to make friends or live like a normal kid. But then, he heard that a group of students, Takumi and the rest of the SDU, were brought to the school, and for the first time, he felt genuinely happy. He wanted to meet them. That’s why he created the flame avatar. He just wanted to be part of the group.
//So wait...You mean to tell me...
//That this guy was THE 16TH STUDENT HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN THIS SCHOOL WATCH OUT FOR HIM!!!???
//Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
//Of course, Takumi didn’t know any of this and thought the flame avatar was some kind of enemy, so he was always wary. Takumi apologizes for that now.
//The UFB explains that, even though he couldn’t interact directly, he kept showing up to try and warn everyone of the danger. He wanted to help protect them. And even though the group had its share of drama and conflict, the way they still fought together to protect each other and push forward was something he envied. He thought it was beautiful.
//UFB is baby. Metaphorically as well as literally. I will burn my hand patting his head.
//At this point, Takumi completely breaks down, apologizing for everything—for the misunderstanding, for failing to protect the people who died, for all the loss they’ve endured. Classic Kodaka moment of the main character shouldering all the guilt at the end.
//But then UFB drops something heavy: he asks Takumi, if he had the chance to go back and redo all 100 days from the beginning, knowing what he knows now, would he take that opportunity?
//And that’s not just a hypothetical. Because now, with all the power he’s absorbed, Takumi CAN actually go back. The option to reset everything and try again is REAL.
//I have to give a MASSIVE kudos to Kodaka, because the way that he sets this up is REALLY CLEVER!
//Eito’s Specialist Skill is called Special Fortunetelling. Basically, every time he takes an action in combat, he gets a random effect. Most of the time, it's something like an attack boost, a shield, or, sometimes. he just gets fatigued instead. It’s a gamble-type ability, which is another Nagito connection I spotted early on.
//But once he absorbed the baby’s Cryptoglobin, that ability got a serious upgrade. Instead of giving him random buffs, it instead gave the party random debuffs during his boss fight.
//Now that Takumi has absorbed Eito, and by extension, the baby too, that power has carried over and changed his own Specialist Skill as well.
//Takumi’s original Specialist Skill is called Special Redo. It’s got two main functions in the game: "Retry," which lets you start a whole battle over from the beginning, and "Wave Reset," which lets you restart the current enemy wave if things are going badly. It’s basically a second-chance mechanic built into the story.
//But now that Takumi’s Cryptoglobin has been supercharged with all that insane power, the UFB suggests that he might actually be able to push that ability way further. Like, not just restarting a fight, but rewinding everything. All 100 days. A full reset.
//In other words, Takumi could potentially start the whole story over from Day 1, only this time with all the knowledge and power he has now. That means he might be able to prevent everything that went wrong, stop Eito before he betrays everyone, save Nozomi, Ima, and all the others, and maybe even avoid the war turning into such a pointless bloodbath.
//So yeah, Takumi’s "redo" ability has gone from a gameplay mechanic to a major story decision, giving him one last shot to fix everything.
//Absolute genius move when gameplay meets story like that. Although I will say, it's a bit awkward that the Specialist Skills haven't been mentioned to be canon to the story so far for this exact purpose. Or...maybe I missed it.
//But those are the final words of the UFB, as he disappears for good. Just when we were getting to know him too...
DAY 99:
//Takumi starts checking in with everyone who survived to see how they feel about the idea of resetting everything and starting the 100 days over.
//Takemaru, Kurara, Kyoshika, and Kako are all for it. They say if there’s even a chance of reaching a happier outcome, they’d be willing to go through it all again. They want to try and fix what was broken.
//On the other hand, Darumi, Tsubasa, Gaku, and Yugamu are just over it. They’ve been through so much trauma and loss that the idea of reliving any of it sounds exhausting. To them, it’s not worth it.
//Shouma’s kind of stuck in the middle, not really sure if it’s the right move or not. So in the end, it’s an even split.
//That alone makes the decision hard, but honestly, there are still so many unanswered questions. We never really found out what happened with Karua, or how exactly she became Nozomi. And we still don’t know what truth Eito discovered after understanding the Invaders’ language, since he died without ever telling us. That mystery alone feels like a good enough reason to try again.
//Personally, I’d want to redo everything, not just to save people, but to finally get some answers.
DAY 100:
//It's time...
//So, weirdly enough, even though the school's power was supposed to be down after the Undying Flame Boy died, the War Room randomly boots back up, and it looks like the “Omni-Directional Attack” is being activated.
//Which makes zero sense, because the weapon shouldn't even work anymore after Eito killed the baby. Graduation music starts playing over the speakers again, which I think is a great thematic touch.
//But OH MY GOD, did I get so pissed here!
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//There’s been a freaking escape pod this whole time!
//An actual, functional escape pod!
//One more time...
//There...
//WAS
//A!
//FUCKING!!
//ESCAPE POD!!!
//NOZOMI got absolutely DRAGGED for wanting to escape, and turns out she was completely right! We all called her a traitor and she literally died over it! WE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING BOTHER LOOKING FOR ANOTHER WAY OUT!
//At the very least, everyone looks SO guilt ridden over it, and they FUCKING SHOULD BE!
//Naturally, Takumi blames himself, but honestly, that’s not fair. He was the only one who believed in Nozomi from the beginning. The rest failed her—not the other way around.
//It’s actually kind of hard to accept how much everyone fought and suffered, only to realize they were their own worst enemy the whole time.
//But Takumi thinks back to what the UFB told him about jumping back to fix everything. To start anew and give everyone a happy ending they deserve.
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//Then suddenly, I get to make a CHOICE!
//Except NO I DON'T LOOOOOOLL!
//Clearly it's setting up to my decision making in the future of this game, but this hasn’t happened since Day 0 at the very start of the game.
//Unfortunately, saying "no" does nothing. You can technically choose it, but the story doesn’t move forward unless you agree. You don't even get a funny bonus scene like the one with Sirei at the beginning of the game.
//So much for agency, but hey, at least I tried.
//It’s still really unclear what happens to everyone if we do go back in time. The current timeline could vanish, or it could split off and continue existing separately. The game doesn't really give a definitive answer, so I guess it's up to everyone who's playing.
Takumi ends up deciding not to go back to the satellite with the others. His reason for fighting is gone, and without her, he just can’t find a reason to keep going forward in this timeline.
//It’s honestly pretty heartbreaking. I had my moments of frustration with Takumi throughout the game, but seeing him come to terms with everything and still want to fix it...
//That hit hard.
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//He watches the escape pod launch toward Earth with a little smile, knowing at least his friends are going to be okay.
//Then, he walks back to the courtyard and uses his Specialist Skill to jump back in time, ready to relive the 100 days and try again.
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//But right after he disappears, the escape pod that left… comes back. There's just a walkie talkie inside. Takemaru and Tsubasa are calling in, saying there’s something wrong with the satellite. Something they didn’t expect.
//But Takumi’s already gone.
//That last moment is so ominous. Gave me chills, and is a GREAT setup for the future of this game.
CONCLUSION:
//And then the credits roll. I caught a few names I recognized, and apparently, the voice of the Undying Flame boy in Japanese is Daiki Yamashita. That’s Deku’s voice actor from My Hero Academia!
//I obviously don't play this game in Japanese, but I do like Daiki-kun. He's a very entertaining and enjoyable person.
//Also, a lot of the credits are blacked out, probably to keep major spoilers hidden.
//But...Yeah! That's the first of many endings of the Hundred Line!
//Such a wild ending. So many loose threads. I’m gonna be thinking about this one for a while.
//Like I said already, the way that these journal's are going to be structured will be different from here on out. Up until now, I've been breaking down my gamplay throughout the days. But since we have so much to get through, I've decided that my posts about Hundred Line going forward will be about the routes themselves.
//I.e. instea of documenting things day by day, I'm going to keep a record of the highlights of each route and ending I get, and then talk about them in each post.
//I get that that's a pretty big switch up, and it means the endings will be posted more spaced out, but the thing is I really like this game. And I want to play it as much as possible. And the more I write about it, the less I play it.
//I'll make it work somehow, promise. But in the meantime, Route #0.
//I have a feeling that even with the 100 different endings, THIS ONE has the potential to be up there, because this first route was TOP NOTCH!
//The character development for everyone in this route alone was brilliant, the characterization was on point, the story was full of awesome twists and turns, and the ending was masterfully crafted and so bittersweet.
//I didn't feel this way about Rain Code when it first came out. I do like Rain Code, but I don't like it as much as I like Danganronpa. This game on the other hand has the potential to shoot beyond those stars from this one route alone, especially because it gets me excited for all the other outcomes on this game.
//But that is the end of our first playthrough. My takeaways:
I love this game.
-Mod
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yourmotherlma0 · 2 days ago
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●Shogi
♡Togame Joe x Gn!Reader
♡Warnings: you/your/yourself pronouns used, 1700 words, fluff, slow-ish burn, mild cussing i think idfk i went through like 50 drafts, old people being cuties, I love old people, reigan arataka and mob as guest stars btw
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Shishitorens territory has always been a lively place. It was filled with bars and nightlife that most cities lacked but just because it was quiet during the day, didn't mean it was silent. Steam curled around the old wood beams of the bathhouse, muffling the sound of conversation. It was late evening, the time when only the regulars came. Elderly men and women shuffled across the tile floors just a room over, towels wrapped around their bodies, and a soft clacking of shogi tiles was heard from the corner table in the lounge.
Togame sat, shirt half-buttoned and loosely resting on his shoulders, a towel draped over his wet hair. His sharp eyes flicked across the shogi board. His opponent, an energetic old man named Mr.arataka, scratched his cheek and sighed.
“You're lucky that I tend to go easy on the younger folk kid, if I went full power right from the start half of Japan would be in shambles from my power.” the old man grumbled. “You're just salty that I won, aren't you?” Togame murmured, moving a piece back into its starting position. His voice was even and his presence was calm yet unreadable. The sort of quiet that held danger and dignity in equal measure. The kind of silence you can only find in a double life delinquent like jo togame or hannah montana.
Mr.arataka chuckled and leaned back, popping a complementary rice cracker into his mouth. “You need someone who’ll challenge you more than I can.” “Are you volunteering to find them?” “Who do you think I am? I've already found them, introducing one of the best shogi masters ever, ehem- right behind me of course...” The old man awkwardly scooted his chair to the side and frantically waved over someone that was behind him. “Hey brat! Come here for a sec!”
You were balancing a stack of towels that the nursing home residents have used, normally this work would fall to the bathhouse staff but you would die just standing there without anything to keep your hands busy. Mr.arataka had insisted you join the group that went to the bathhouse each afternoon today. He was insistent and said he wanted to introduce you to someone so how could you refuse? You set the towels down and walked over to the two men at a small table in the corner when you suddenly paused mid step. Your eyes met togames. There was no smile, but something like curiosity sparked behind his gaze.
“This is uh… this is some brat,” Mr.arataka said. “Takes care of me better than my kid and is the best shogi student i've ever had. Not to brag on their behalf but I've taught them everything I know. ” “Did you forget my name or something..? And you haven't taught me anything-” You tried to speak but were quickly silenced by an older mans hand over your mouth. “They're a real prodigy in the making and it's all thanks to my teachings, and brat this is Togame, he's a bit mediocre at the game but he's a quick learner. He might come for your spot as my pupil one day.” The old man interrupted while Togame raised an eyebrow at his words. “That right?” You offered a small yet confident smile. “I did beat Mr.arataka three times in a row this morning.”
“That doesn't take much.” Jo said slowly. You've just met him and it felt like his every action was in .5x speed. Mr.arataka quickly ranted out a series of defences towards Togames comment but it was all swiftly ignored by us two.
Togame gestured to the seat across from him and you silently took his offer. You played one round. Then another. Togame wasn’t loud or showy in his tactics, he was all pressure. Every slow move of a shogi tile he made backed you further and further into a corner without ever making a scene of it, not even his expression would change or falter as he kept up the relentless assault against your pieces. He was good but you kept up. And that was the flaw of the way he played. The more you were able to react and keep calm despite the amount of pressure he tossed at you the more his own defenses fell apart.
His brow twitched in amusement. Not quite a smile, but something close. “You’re not bad.” You sipped your half empty bottled green tea that you bought from a vending machine when you arrived at the bathhouse, now lukewarm from its neglect until now, letting your fingers hover over one of your tiles as you slid the pieces back into their starting position. “Neither are you.” Mr.arataka glanced between the younger duo silently. “Mr.arataka, Shigeo is here.” One of your coworkers called out to the table you sat at with a youngish boy next to her. You waved off the older man as he stood and strutted out of the building, leaving you with Togame. 
Togame stayed silent as the older man left, you half expected him to leave as well but he stayed seated. His gaze shifted between yourself and the shogi board as words could visibly get caught in his throat. The air of cockieness that he had around him shifted the second Mr.arataka left and all that was left was an awkward teen. The time that passed during our shogi games suddenly was much more noticeable. The steamy air that swept through to the lobby was suddenly much clearer and the number of people entering and leaving the bathhouse was suddenly little to none. Togames shirt was slightly damp from his longer hair resting on it for as long as it has. The silence that fell between you both was awkward since this was your first interaction ever. 
What kind of asshole leaves the two people he just introduced to each other alone together?
The sentence rang through both of your heads simultaneously as you desperately looked for any way to start a conversation with this guy. Only a few words were exchanged during the shogi games and each beat of silence only made your quest for anything to get rid of the awkward feeling between you both more difficult. He fidgeted slightly, not in an obvious way, his finger tapped once and stopped before his gaze jumped from one of the shogi tiles to another. You couldn't take it anymore. 
“So…” you started, your voice was too loud starting off and it harshly cut through the awkward silence that had layered itself over the room. You softened your tone as you continued, “do you come here often or did you just feel like glaring at older men and losing at shogi today?” He blinked once at your words and you could see as he slowly processed your words before a slow breath came out. Not quite a laugh but definitely close. His lips curled into a small almost unnoticeable smile at your stupid attempt at playful banter which gave you a small sense of victory. 
“You think I lost?” he noted lightly as you shrugged in response. “You didn't win… most of them.” “I still won some.” he stretched slightly, the towel that had been resting on his head slipped off and he caught it just before it hit the ground. “Only a few” you subconsciously rolled the cap of your now empty tea bottle between your fingers as Togame slowly stood with a small grunt that made him seem significantly older than he actually was. “Can I walk you back… it's late.” 
You blinked, not because of the offer itself but because it surprised you how quietly he had said it. Almost like he was nervous asking such a simple and overall nice question and now that you were looking at him over again it was obvious that he was nervous. “Sure.” you smiled softly and stood, gently and discreetly trying to wipe the nerves off of the palms of your hands and onto your jeans. “If you can walk me all the way home old man.” a low huff came from him as you both stepped out of the bathhouse, tossing any trash you had as you did so. “Is that how you talk to someone kind enough to let you win?” “you wish you let me win.” He didn't argue but he didn't confirm either as he walked by your side, slightly behind you so you could lead the way to your house since he obviously didn't know the general direction, much less exact location. 
The cold air bit your skin as you walked. A light chatter between the two of you filled the silence, some of the conversation felt forced but as you walked it slowly became more natural. The old wooden steps that led to your front door creaked under your weight as you stepped up it. Part of you wanted to offer him some tea but his voice and calloused hand on your wrist halted your train of thought completely. His tone was even but his voice was low, he kept his eyes on his hand on your wrist as he finally choked out the words. 
“Do you know who I am?” he asked quietly. You glanced back at him silently, but he kept his gaze downwards… you could tell that something deep inside of him feared the answer. That same thing feared people as a whole. For him, in this moment at least there was nothing more important than your answer to this seemingly small and simple question.
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♡ Inspired by the fact he plays go and shogi with the old men at public baths
♡BONUS♡
“Master arataka… who were those people you were sitting with?” “Well mob, sometimes you make bets with people like I did and will do absolutely anything to get that money.” the older man and his kid(?) walked home together shortly after they left the bathhouse. “You made a bet?” the younger boy looked up at the man he's called his master for years in curiosity “what kind?”. The older man walked in long strides as he pretended to proudly look into the distance, in reality he had a small bead of sweat dripping from his forehead in nerves. “I bet 200,000 yen that I could get Togame, the big guy that sucks at shogi, dating within a month.” “That's a lot of money…” “Well, mob, I am confident that I will win and in no way did I bet that much because I was provoked or tricked.”
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quillyfied · 2 years ago
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Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART TWO (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E2)
- Immediately the first thing I notice and love is the old-timey grainy way the Job storyline was shot with. Aziraphale’s holy background thing is so fun and dynamic, omg. There’s something very Terry Gilliam about the visuals.
- Also want to point out that the different shades of red of Crowley’s hair is a CHOICE, because he’s back to s1 color in this flashback. Also noticed last episode, but the new hair seems to have much darker roots or lowlights visible in some shots. Deliberate?
- Crowley can just summon a small sun. Nbd.
- The idea of a permit. The continuing hysteria of inserting modern parlance into the past. This is why I love this show.
- THE PERMIT IS SO LONG WHY IS THAT LOONEY TUNES LEVEL HUMOR STILL SO FUNNY
- Thing I notice now: the crows flying away after the goats are struck by fireballs. Originally unnoticed ambiance. Now incredibly funny.
- “You know, geese? Big, cross ducks?” I LOVE MURIEL.
- Hello, Jerkface McGee Gabriel.
- My brain, when Gabriel talked about witnessing the first human birth: oh, he was there for Cain? Weird, but—oh. Oh he meant Eve. Oh NO. Aziraphale your superiors are incompetent.
- The marks of irritation the archangels have with Aziraphale…phew. Eye rolling, huffing, the whole shebang. Poor guy.
- The fact that Jim is trying to be helpful and makes the bookshop less comprehensible delights me, actually. As does his hideous sweater.
- The fact that there are edges to Jimbriel’s memory, that he has snatches of himself but can’t encompass the whole…weird. Why won’t his whole self fit back inside of his amnesiac mind? What’s taking up the room? Unless all the room is stored with the rest of his memories? This is a silly train of thought and I’m getting a bit too deep
- Wondering how Hell’s miraculous tracking system works tbh.
- Another note about the opening: last season, we got to the crowd actively falling off the edge of their cliff path and the good ones going up, the bad ones going down. This time…credits end before they reach that summit. And they’re climbing towards something brightly lit. Interesting.
- I love that the seemingly throwaway line of all albums turning to Queen Best Hits when left in a car for too long turns into more of an actual plot point with the jukebox and Buddy Holly. Almost feels taboo.
- The needing an invitation to get in thing is so subtly done, too.
- Keen?? KEEN???
- Yeah the attempt to kill the fly does sort of overly dampen the reveal later. Better foreshadowing would have been to him trying to catch it tbh.
- CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW AZIRAPHALE CAN DRAW
- Dirty Donkey pub. Something about that is tickling my brain. No idea why. Like I know its utility as an elevator in s2 but I feel like there’s something important about it I’m forgetting? Or missing?
- Jane Austen as master spy and novelist is the exact flavor I’m looking for, thank you. XD
- Ehm. Aziraphale. The ball part isn’t where the love realizations happened, from my memory. They’re highly charged events, but they’re for feeding chemistry, not realizations. Idk man.
- Aziraphale almost closes the shop door on him. Noticed it the first time. Noticing it now. Mistake? Or meant?
- Pride and Prejudice is what is zoomed in on. Nice.
- Feels like Crowley is possibly probing Jim’s mind at this stage. Miraculously? There’s a partial little hissing chime when he starts doing it but I can’t tell if that’s a tension builder or an actual miraculous signifier.
- Note to self: go back to first episode and see if any sound effect played during the dual miracle. Result: yes, normal miracle chime.
- Going back to e2, not a full miracle chime but definitely a hiss of something. Don’t think Crowley is rooting around in his head but unsure how Crowley can evoke these episodes in Jimbriel but Aziraphale can’t. Hmm.
- Wondering if there’s a female voice layered under Gabriel’s, or if it’s his own pitched up.
- The fact that Jimbriel has some awareness of himself though!! He KNOWS whatever he can’t quite remember is too big for him right now, but he doesn’t know what it is and goes back to being a happy sieve in no time. Weird!!!
- Aha. Subtitles are wrong, Aziraphale does still call him Crawly in the Job minisode.
- “Technically you can—“ “oh, then technically I will” I SEE YOU, JOHN FINNEMORE. REUSING VERY GOOD LINES.
- GOSH the ACTING I am in a SWOON
- THAT SMUG LITTLE ANGELIC GRIN
- okay but: very important conversation about sides and desires and knowing (gosh that sounds dirty), unfortunate side effect of validating to Aziraphale that the angel he knew as Crowley Before is still in there and still reachable, the demon no different but just more stubborn for some reason. Massive flaw in his cognition to work through in s3, the universe willing.
- The kids being brats feels so…appropriate, somehow. All but the youngest. Who is adorable.
- Aziraphale showing faith in Crowley, though, and being proven correct. My tender heart.
- Crowley being obliging and turning Jemimah into a blue lizard. I cry.
- Aziraphale having a gag reaction to wine is hysterical actually
- The sensuality of the tempting Aziraphale to eat though.
- I…really can’t tell God’s tone or intent in talking to Job? Might just be telling him off. I think that’s what They’re doing. Job and I are on the same page at least.
- Gabriel’s game show host way of announcing this poor middle aged woman can have seven more kids. The Supreme Archangel, folks.
- Crowley stepping up at the nick of time to stop Sitis from committing blasphemy in front of the most powerful angels of Heaven: incredible power move. Only to be topped by his subsequent act of “midwifery”
- The “yes, and”ing of this scene. I’m agog.
- “Reach into his robes—higher, higher” THE LOOK ON JOB’S FACE
- Okay but the very neat forcing of Aziraphale to directly lie to his superiors, to take an active role of disobedience for the actual greater good. Mmm. Tasty for his character.
- THE WAY AZIRAPHALE’S HEAD JUST POPS OUT FROM BEHIND THE BENTLEY. Also had a little miracle chime to it so he definitely just. Popped up. Good grief.
- OUR car. Passed his test 90 years ago. Just like it’s technically my shop but we both get plenty of use out of it. MARRIED. BICKERING.
- GOOD OMENS THE BOOK INSIDE OF GOOD OMENS THE SHOW. I SQUEAL. I GIGGLE. I KICK MY FEET.
- The whole conversation at the end about falling and being lonely…SO many emotions. So many layers. Such setup. I just want to pop it in my mouth and gum on it for hours. This is the second time Aziraphale has lied to his bosses, but he wasn’t near as torn up about lying to God as he was about lying to Gabriel and the rest. Possibly because he had no proof that God DIDNT want him to give the sword to Adam to protect themselves with, and in this case he DID have more substantial proof that God wanted those kids dead. Or, Gabriel and Michael did, at least.
- Once again setting up to Aziraphale that Crowley is a good demon, that trusting him is a good idea, and pitting that against his ingrained trust in Heaven. Difficult dichotomy, difficult situation. Still hasn’t fully untangled that one in the present day. Obviously.
- “I’m a demon. I lied.” The absolute POWER.
Okay that’s it for tonight. More later!
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mylordshesacactus · 4 months ago
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on endlings, and despair
Hey, y'all. It's...been a rough couple of weeks. So, I thought--better to light a single candle, right?
If you're familiar with wildlife conservation success stories, then you're likely also familiar with their exact polar opposite. The Northern White Rhino. Conservation's poster child for despair. Our greatest and most high-profile utter failure. We slaughtered them for wealth and status, and applied the brakes too slow. Changed course too late.
We poured everything we had into trying to save them, and we failed.
We lost them. They died. The last surviving male was named Sudan. He died in 2018, elderly and sick. His genetic material is preserved, along with frozen semen from other long-dead males, but only as an exercise in futility. Only two females survive--a mother and daughter, Najin and Fatu.
Both of them are infertile. They still live; but the Northern White Rhinoceros is extinct. Gone forever.
In 2023, an experimental procedure was attempted, a hail-mary desperation play to extract healthy eggs from the surviving females.
It worked.
The extracted eggs were flown to a genetics lab, and artificially fertilized using the sperm of lost Northern males. The frozen semen that we kept, all this time, even after we knew that the only living females were incapable of becoming pregnant.
It worked.
Thirty northern white rhino embryos were created and cryogenically preserved, but with no ability to do anything with them, it was a thin hope at best. In 2024, for the first time, an extremely experimental IVF treatment was attempted on a SOUTHERN white rhino--a related subspecies.
It worked.
The embryo transplanted as part of the experiment had no northern blood--but the pregnancy took. The surgery was safe for the mother. The fetus was healthy. The procedure is viable. Surrogate Southern candidates have already been identified to carry the Northern embryos. Rhinoceros pregnancies are sixteen months long, and the implantation hasn't happened yet. It will take time, before we know. Despair is fast and loud. Hope is slower, softer. Stronger, in the end.
The first round may not take. We'll learn from it. It's what we do. We'll try again. Do better, the next time. Fail again, maybe. Learn more. Try harder.
This will not save the species. Not overnight. The numbers will be very low, with no genetic diversity to speak of. It's a holding action, nothing more.
Nothing less.
One generation won't save a species. But even a single calf will buy us time. Not quite gone, not yet. One more generation. One more endling. One more chance. And if we seize it, we might just get another after that. We're getting damn good at gene editing. At stem-cell research. In the length of a single rhino lifetime, we'll get even better.
For decades, we have been in a holding action with no hope in sight. Researchers, geneticists, environmentalists, wildlife rehabbers. Dedicated and heroic Kenyan rangers have kept the last surviving NWRs under 24/7 armed guard, line-of-sight, eyes-on, never resting, never relaxing their guard. Knowing, all the while, that their vigilance was for nothing. Would save nothing. This is a dead species--an elderly male, two females so closely related that their offspring couldn't interbreed even if they could produce any--and they can't.
Northern white rhino conservation was the most devastatingly hopeless cause in the world.
Two years from now, that dead species may welcome a whole new generation.
It's a holding action, just a holding action, but not "just". There is a monument, at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy, where the last white rhinos have lived and will die. It was created at the point where we knew--not believed, knew--that the species was past all hope. It memorializes, by name there were so few, the last of the northern white rhinos. Most of the markers have brief descriptions--where the endling rhino lived, how it was rescued, how it died.
One marker bears only these words: SUDAN | Last male Northern White Rhino.
If even a single surrogate someday bears a son, we have erased the writing on that plaque forever.
All we can manage is a holding action? Then we hold. We hold hard and fast and long, use our fingernails if we have to. But hold. Even and perhaps especially when we are past all hope.
We never know what miracle we might be buying time for.
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yyuangss · 1 year ago
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MORE GIRL TALK ! ( STAR RAIL MEN )
SUMMARY ! march 7th finds out you like someone. and as your best friend, it’s only right that she has to give her input on whether or not she approves of him.
NOTES ! part one of girl talk (dan heng, caelus, sampo, jing yuan, and argenti). need hoyo to give the biggest girl’s girl they’ve ever created a bff asap. she deserves it after everything she’s been through 🫡 this goes out to that one anon. if you’re reading this, i added a bonus for you <3
TAGS ! reader is not the trailblazer. contains gepard landu, dr. ratio, aventurine, and boothill. possible spoilers for penacony quest in aventurine’s part, tried to keep it very vague and minimal. feelings are mutual on both ends.
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march 7th’s thoughts on . . . GEPARD LANDAU !
the biggest mistake you’ve made is telling march you have feelings for the captain of the silvermane guards. because now she’s made herself the conductor of the express, switching course to jarilo-vi, crash landing terribly, and running all the way to serval to ask if gepard has feelings for you. march always assumed there might have been some mutual pinning from gepard’s side. he probably thought he was the best at hiding his feelings, except it didn’t help that he constantly shielded you whenever you were at risk of being at harms way. which in her opinion means he’s willing to protect you no matter what. this trait was very important and she will not let you pass up on that opportunity. according to serval, gepard had already confessed to his sister how he felt towards you and was too shy to admit it. once she confirmed his mutual feelings, serval and march are on matchmaker duty.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . DR. RATIO !
march does think that ratio is mean and extremely talkative. she also believes him to be selfish. there’s already a negative perception of him in her mind. though, her opinion on him is only based off the first time the express met him. compared to you, she hasn’t gotten the chance to truly know him (not that she really wants to). so, march says her judgement is biased and null in this case. she hears a different side when you’re in her room, telling her all about him and how he’s incorporated you into his very busy schedule. and it’s proven to her whenever ratio boards the express for the sole purposes of visiting you. or he’s arriving at the space station around the same time the express gets there, despite having prior plans made. march is very suspicious how the two of you aren’t dating yet. actions speak louder than words and ratio’s actions make her very impressed.
march 7th’s thoughts on . . . AVENTURINE !
march won’t lie, she has heavy mixed opinions for aventurine and still doubtful of him. it’s possible that the entire astral express would share these mixed opinions if you told one of them. on one hand, she’s grateful for all the help he aided with. had he not been there, you all would’ve never gotten into penacony. she’s surprised to hear you ran into him several times when you were exploring. it’s where you got to know him while he showed you around, taking you to all the best sight seeing locations. aventurine didn’t waste a second to express his interest in you. even after what happened with him before the final battle in penacony, he still showed that same interest. which is why march doesn’t know why you’re wasting time telling her about your feelings towards him when you should be admitting them to aventurine instead. her mixed opinions will still be present. once she gets to know him like you did, they’ll eventually fade and she’ll be less on the weary side.
BONUS !
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dan heng’s thoughts on . . . BOOTHILL !
“oh.” is all he says. dan heng is not very vocal, so his expression and body language tell you all you need to know. in this case, a raised eyebrow and a skeptical look forming on his face. he’s not really interested in this type of talk and that’s one of the main reasons. still, as your closest friend, dan heng doesn’t want you to think that you and your feelings aren’t important to him. his quiet demeanor makes him more observant. watching you and boothill interact makes dan heng realize how truly oblivious you are. it’s clear as day that the interstellar cowboy is interested in you. unless he’s the only person who has caught on to the mutual feelings. but there’s no way especially with all the darlin’s and sweetheart’s boothill calls you. either way, in his opinion, you should be with who makes you happy and dan heng won’t stop you from that. will bluntly expose yours and boothill’s attraction if either of you take too long.
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stick2vamp · 10 months ago
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sebastian with a touchy reader who can't seem to take their hands off him ? :3
𝜗 ˖ ❝ poke, poke! ᵕ ♡
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— in which you get too handsy for your own good. ✧
↷  sfw 𓈒 no warnings 𓈒 well bitch sebastian warning 𓈒 tried to make this as in character as possible but honestly may be more ooc 𓈒
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UNESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ☆★ — under the assumption you aren't dating yet.
SEBASTIAN doesn't honestly care that much when you touch him, he just likes to pretend like he does to see your reaction. Whether you freeze up and stop your actions, or continue to do them out of defiance: either amuses him. He does have his limits, though.
You're fine to touch his tail. Many Expendables do it on accident when buying things anyway, so he has gotten used to it. He won't bat an eye when you lightly touch his tail. Sebastian will, though, tease you and push you. It's not a fair trade that you get to just play with his tail like that. Don't you think he deserves some compensation? Of course, he isn't being too serious, but if you end up coughing up some research... well, he'll gladly take it off your hands.
But Sebastian will only let you do that. It's better than nothing, isn't it? Oh, how generous he is. You're not allowed to touch his hands, fins, or 'lure'. Yeah, no, you aren't getting your grubby little hands on him like that. Well, maybe if you paid for it. How does 1,000 research per second of touch sound?
Sebastian does not enjoy physical touch, nor does he see a need for it. Perhaps, in the past, he would've yearned for it. But now, he is quite literally different.
But let's say you're a loyal customer, a frequent visitor whom Sebastian has come to actually pay attention to. Sebastian, being the oh-so-sweet shopkeeper he is, might let you hang around and touch him a bit more. If you promise to keep buying from him, that is.
ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ☆★ — under the assumption you are dating.
SEBASTIAN still has no need for physical touch, but he understands that you do. And being the best boyfriend there is, he'll of course give it to you.
Except, you still need to return the favor. Expect a lot of physical attention from Sebastian, you reciprocating, then Sebastian flipping it onto you as if you were the one initiating it just to get you to do something for him. What do you need to do for me? Why, you just need to cut him some slack. See, not so hard, is it? How kind of him to give you such an easy task.
That aside, as his lover, you get to touch more of him. His tail is not the only thing up for grabs anymore. Feel free to touch him wherever. While he can't guarantee a position reaction, he won't stop you from petting wherever you want.
His fins? In your hands. His light? In your hands? His cheeks? In your hands? Go ahead and squeeze to your heart's content. The two of you have all the time in the world down here, after all.
Rarely, Sebastian will initiate affection with you without any ulterior motives. When you question his antics, he just laughs into your shoulder. Really, do you expect him to be mean all the time? These moments become more and more frequent as time goes on. Free of charge, too. You're the only one he'll give a 100% off discount to. The things he does for you.
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luza-wayne · 17 days ago
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who fell in love first.
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pre-timeskip!
characters: kageyama, suna, kuroo, tsukishima, sugawara, tendou, kenma, sawamura, oikawa, aone, atsumu, atsumu, ushijima, iwaizumi, osamu
will try to make kny and knb vers!
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you.
man is canonically a pretty boy with no weakness except studying and animals hating him.
he just happened to know of your existence when he, along with Hinata, were searching for someone to tutor them. (You tried to volunteer, because you didn’t want to waste the chance.)
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most definitely, you.
he's the type of guy who will consciously make you fall in love with him as a joke.
but, also the type to unconsciously fall in love with you while in the process of making you fall for him.
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of course, you.
his charismatic aura is enough to be drawn to him.
maybe you'll only notice that you are head over heels for him if one of your friends will point it out.
this dork is also the type to tease you by flirting with you so that you make sure to return the favor by flirting back with him.
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definitely him.
but, this big ass tsundere will never admit that he fell for you even before you did.
he'll annoy the hell out of you to make you notice him, though sometimes it turns into bickering between the two of you that will make you think twice whether you're falling in love with him or not because sometimes you just want to kick him in his guts.
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it was suga first.
i see him as someone who would fall for people who excel in academics, doesn’t need to be at the top, but he’s attracted to someone who cares deeply about education.
he’s definitely the type to tell his friends about his crush as vaguely as possible, but his actions and how he acts when he’s close to you basically screams who it is.
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maybe he was just a few steps ahead of you when it comes to realizing it.
when he realized he was in love, he made a mission that will indirectly tell you that he's infatuated with you.
but, those were the times when you've already realized your feelings for him too.
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‌he fell first.
‌but! he won't notice until his friends will tease him about how he treats you differently from others.
at first, he'll be like "don't be stupid.", but then will also be super bothered by it and will ask himself whether he does fall for you or not.
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i love him so much, but he definitely won’t be the first one to fall in love.
he’s canonically oblivious (in haikyuu-bu! man’s was stressing me)
does the most gentlemanly, most romantic, best actions to make you fall in love, but still wouldn’t realize that people might just develop feelings for him because of that, so yeah, it’ll be you.
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‌yes, it's you.
‌let's be real. no matter how annoying he can be (though you also love it about him), the way how passionate he is when doing the thing he likes will most probably be the reason you fell into the hole of love.
‌but, since he's popular, it might take you a bit of time and courage to confess.
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not sure who it will be.
because, you might fall in love with him by seeing how his demeanor is completely different from his personality or how he might fall in love with you, just by being yourself.
but, he might confess first though. could be because of futakuchi's plan to get him to confess, or just koganegawa's big mouth.
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yeah, you, no doubt about it.
another canonical ikemen.
will not notice if you’re not close with him or any of the inarizaki players, but if it’s otherwise, then be prepared to get teased by suna or osamu, sometimes he’ll even join in if he enjoys how you react.
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‌it might be you.
because, there can be a possibility where you have heard his name and saw how good he is and that'll be the deciding factor, but you know how dense he can be, so confessing is a difficult task.
though, if he realized he's captivated by you, he might just walk up to you and tell you straight about his feelings.
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you.
the ace of the boys’ volleyball team that is always in the finals, truly the school’s pride, so who doesn’t know him in your school, that includes you.
his attentive nature— how he’ll notice that you always watch their games and practice might be either a hole to make you fall deeper for him or finally take notice of you.
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i’m not sure, but i’m getting the feeling that it’s him.
he’s the type to be secretly in love with you for a long time and only his closest friends would know.
osamu’s the person to fall for people who have the same preference about food with him, he thinks it’ll be easier to get along and hang out with them if they share something in common.
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i hope you enjoyed it!
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ollyissleepy · 2 months ago
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𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐫
pairings: platonic yandere!batfam x uninterested!male!reader summary: After being caught red handed stealing, (name) finds himself in the Wayne Manor, surrounded by his new family. (Name)'s disinterested in bonding is met with equally not caring siblings and father. As he spends his days alone, (name) realises his new family might care much more than he originally thought the did. cw: stealing, swearing, underage smoking, mentions of gambling and death a/n: idk why but Alfred makes me think of my grandad (which is ironic since I only know him from stories told by my family and I've never even met him) anyway let me know if you're interested in the first idea regarding the scene with (name) and Alfred that I scrapped worried it would be 'too graphic' based on this idea I had
m.list • part: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight
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When (name) wakes up, the sun hasn't even risen. He's not sure about the exact time, as there's no clock in the room he was made to stay in, his phone still at his house, hidden away in fear of situations like this. The boy turns onto his back, his eyes wide open, not daring to fall back asleep. He tries to think of his next course of action. (Name) was hoping to run off during his trip to grab his clothes, but with the butler accompanying him, that won't be possible. And not really due to the age of the man, but simply because the boy doesn't want Alfred to get in trouble. He decides to come up with a different idea another time, hopefully with one that wouldn't get, what seems to be, the only worker in the manor.
Once (name) notices the first rays of light coming into the room, he decides it's probably time to move out of bed. Only then does he notice the grumbling of his stomach. (Name) sighs, walking into the bathroom; he'll have to look for a kitchen later.
The teenager checks the corridor twice, making sure he won't bump into someone as he's trying to find the kitchen. (Name) steps out of the room, doing his best to not make any unnecessary noises. He walks down the same set of stairs that he did the previous day, walking from one room to another until he finds the one he was looking for. Once in the kitchen, he opens the fridge, grabbing a few things that could make a decent breakfast. The boy doesn't take anything that he deems as 'too fancy' for his tastes, opting for simple vegetables and other produce. Stuff he figures nobody will really notice the absence of. The teenager is so focused on filling his stomach that he doesn't notice another person entering the room.
"Mast—, (name), if you were hungry, you could've come to find me. I would be happy to make you something." Butler speaking up causes the boy to jump up. He turns around; the food he made for himself is in his hands.
"It's alright, Alfred," (name) reassures, looking away, like a child caught doing something they shouldn't. "I don't mind making my own food."
"I know you don't, but next time, please don't be afraid to ask me. That's what I'm here for." Alfred smiles, deciding against pressing on the matter.
Alfred begins to smoothly move around the kitchen, grabbing ingredients and other things he needs to cook a meal. (Name) watches the man working as he eats the food he prepared. He debated going into a dining room but decided against it, worried that since the butler starts making breakfast, the rest of the family will get down to eating there. The boy isn't interested in meeting any of them.
"I don't have any work until lunch," Alfred announces, making (name) tilt his head in confusion. "I was thinking we could grab your clothes. That way I could wash the ones you are wearing in the afternoon," he adds, pointing at the boy's outfit with a butter knife.
"Works for me, I guess." (Name) shrugs, finishing up his food. Alfred notices the boy hesitating on what to do with the dish, so he decides to speak up.
"Just leave them in the sink; I'll put them in the dishwasher later." He points toward the appliance.
(Name) carefully puts the dishes into the sink, looking back at the butler for approval. Once Alfred smiles at him, telling him he should go and get ready so they can leave after the rest of the family eats their breakfast. The teenager takes one last look at the butler before leaving the kitchen. He makes his way back, the journey much easier now that he had done that once. He finds the staircase, slowly making his way up. When (name) is almost at the top, he notices something on the wall, close to the ceiling. As he walks up higher, he recognises the object. It appeared to be a surveillance camera. (Name) doesn't stop to give it a closer look, not wanting anyone who watches through them to notice his interest in the object. The presence of the camera changes the boy's plans as he decides to spend the next few days checking where the rest of them are. He'll also need a plan on avoiding some of them to make himself harder to find. 
As he enters 'his' room, the first thing (name) does is grab his hoodie. The one he hid under the pillow the previous night, just in case. As he puts it on, he realises he should clean up a bit or at least fix the bed , not wanting anyone else to touch the place he's sleeping on. The boy makes sure to make it in a different way to make it easier for him to tell if somebody was messing with it. With some more time to spare, (name) looks out the window, looking at the garden. He also looks over the fence further into the property, wondering if it has any loose spots, making his escape easier.
(Name) doesn't move from his spot next to the window when somebody knocks on his door. He tells them to come in, his eyes moving to the door. Alfred comes inside the room, noticing that the boy seemed to have made the bed. He also notices that it was made differently from how the beds are usually done in the manor, but he decides not to dwell on it too much. The butler figures that it must be the only way the teenager was taught how to fix it.
Alfred let the boy know that he's ready to leave whenever the teenager is. (Name) puts his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, nodding that he's ready. Both of them returned downstairs, this time moving opposite to where the kitchen was. To the boy's disappointment, Alfred leads him outside and not to the garage, where he could judge 'his father's' taste in cars; the boy frowns at the missed opportunity.
There's a car parked in the driveway; it looks slightly different than the one he was brought in. Alfred opened the door, his hand gesturing for the boy to get inside. (Name) sits onto the backseat of the car, the butler closing the door behind him. The boy plays with the hem of his hoodie, waiting for Alfred to walk around the car to start driving.
The car ride is mostly silent, save for (name) giving out directions to the butler. The boy enjoys the lack of words leaving Alfred's mouth, making him think that the whole journey might not be such a pain after all. (Name) lets the man know that his apartment building is on the left, ending the ride. Alfred finds a spot to park the car, hoping nobody will damage or, worse, steal it. After he makes sure the car is securely locked, he turns towards the building the boy is already at the entrance of. He tries not to show it, but the state of the building fills him with worry. Is it really where the boy was living? The paint chipping off the outside walls, exposing the brick, and the cracks surrounding the windows. The building was most definitely not up to any code and probably shouldn't even be lived in.
Even though worries of the building collapsing filled Alfred's head, he still followed the boy inside. As they were making their way up the stairs, an older woman came out of the flat on the bottom floor, probably hearing their steps. 
"Ah, (name), good to finally see you. You're a few days late to rent," she informs, glancing at the boy, then looking at Alfred from head to toe, the man getting uncomfortable under her judgemental stare. "I tried knocking, hoping your mom would pay, but it seemed that nobody was home."
"Sorry, Mrs Smith. Mom is busy with work, you know how she gets," (name) explains, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I'll bring it to you in a bit," he promises with a shy smile.
The woman nods, taking another look at Alfred, before walking back inside her flat. He doesn't ask the boy about the lie he told Mrs Smith, knowing it's probably for the best that she wasn't aware that only the boy lives in the apartment. They resume their walk up the stairs until (name) stops at one of the floors, walking down the hallway. The butler watches him stop at one of the cracks in the wall and take out a key from it. The boy then stops in front of a door further down the hall, opening it with a key.
(Name) doesn't look back to see if Alfred is following behind him. He doesn't want to see the look of disgust the butler must have upon seeing the condition of the place the boy calls home. What the teenager isn't aware of is that Alfred doesn't look at it all with disgust but rather concern.
The flat is in much better shape than Alfred anticipated. It was mostly clean, other than the empty instant noodle packets and some other everyday litter. There was a blanket thrown over an old couch that looked like it had seen better days. As (name) disappears in what the butler believes to be a bedroom, Alfred is left to look around the main room of the apartment. He checks the kitchen, his worry deepening after noticing the state of it on top of the oven that looks like a fire hazard.
(Name) double-checks the stuff he throws inside the bag. He puts inside whatever he decides he might need, even if it would just be used as a fire starter. The boy doesn't own many clothes, so putting them all randomly inside the bag wasn't hard. It took him minutes to grab all of his belongings. There weren't many things that belonged to his mother that (name) kept. Most of them he was forced to sell a long time ago, so he won't go hungry or have to pay rent. A few things that the boy kept, he also stuffed inside the bag, even if that meant leaving behind a few shirts so he could close it. The boy takes an envelope from under the mattress, checking if there's enough inside to cover this month's rent. 
Walking back to the main area of the flat, (name) finds Alfred staring at something. As the boy walks closer to the man, he notices that Alfred is looking at the only picture the boy has of himself and his mother. (Name) doesn't know why the butler is staring at that picture so much, but he also doesn't care, snatching the picture away from Alfred's prying eyes. The man watches the boy put the photograph into a bag, carefully arranging it in between some shirts.
"I see that you packed your bag. Do you have everything?" Alfred asks, wanting to make sure neither of them would have to come back to this place.
"Not yet." (Name) puts his bag on the couch and walks towards the opposite side of the room, crouching next to a lamp.
Alfred sees the boy take out a flip phone, which doesn't surprise him after seeing the state of the flat. He figures it's the only phone he and his mother could afford. The butler uses the fact that (name) let go of his bag to grab it for the boy.
"Oh, it's fine. I can carry it myself," (name) says, putting the phone in his pocket. He steps closer to Alfred, trying to take the bag out of the butler's hands.
"Don't worry, (name), I'll make sure nothing happens to it." Alfred reassures the teenager, keeping a firm hold on the bag. "You just focus on locking up the place properly."
Both of them walk out of the flat. Alfred watches as the boy locks it and then puts the key into his pocket. (Name) wonders if he should give the key back to Mrs Smith, knowing that even if he could, it wouldn't be safe for him to return there. He walks down the stairs with Alfred following behind, stopping at Mrs Smith's apartment to give her the envelope. The boy returns the key as well, mentioning that he and his mother were moving out. The woman didn't ask any questions, figuring it's not her business. Both of them walk out of the apartment building, and Alfred lets out a sigh of relief. He didn't show it, but staying in a building that was in such a state was filling him with anxiety. The butler walks with (name) back to the car, putting the boy's bag into the trunk.
"Alfred, do you think we could visit her grave?" (Name) asked, his eyes focused on the ground before him. "I don't know when I'll be able to visit, and I'd hate to leave without saying goodbye."
"Of course, (name)." Alfred agrees with a soft smile. "I'd be happy to take you." The man closes the trunk, moving to open one of the back doors.
"Let's walk; it's not far," (name) suggests, not seeing a point in turning on a car to drive such a short distance.
"Lead the way." Alfred closes the door, still smiling.
(Name) was right about the cemetery not being far, as the journey takes less than ten minutes. From the moment they entered the cemetery, (name) was only looking at the ground as if afraid to look at any of the graves. Alfred, on the other hand, takes a moment to read some of the names written on the graves. He's so distracted that he almost misses (name) stopping in front of one of them. Alfred stands next to the boy, whose expression he couldn't read. The man then looks at the grave, reading the words on the gravestone. 
(Mother's name) (Last Name) beloved mother Born xx-xx-xxxx Died xx-xx-xxxx
"It's been…" Alfred begins to speak, but the words are caught in his throat.
"Seven years, yeah," (name) finishes, his eyes never leaving his mother's gravestone.
"You were only ten." Alfred's cracks, trying so hard not to imagine a little boy burying his mother all by himself. "How did nobody find out?"
"If you know where to go, they won't ask you questions." (Name) shrugs, finally looking up at Alfred. "Mrs Smith's late husband helped me bury her, only wanting some money so he could gamble behind his wife's back. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised he never mentioned my mother's death to her."
Neither of them moved for a while after that. Alfred is still trying to understand how this boy managed to survive on his own for so long. He pitied the boy, wishing Bruce had found out sooner about him. Maybe then, (name)'s life would be a little easier.
The drive back to the manor is quiet, with Alfred checking on the boy's wellbeing in the rearview mirror. The butler wants to say something, anything that could bring comfort to (name). No words seemed good enough; after all, what could you say to a teenager who lost his mother almost a decade ago?
Back in the manor, (name) uses the need to unpack his bag as an excuse to get away from the butler. The boy makes his way back to 'his' room, closing the door shut behind himself. He doesn't take out much from his bag, only a fresh set of clothes, some underwear and the picture of his mother. He changes into the clothes, wondering if he should throw the old ones to the humper or ask Alfred if he can wash them himself. The teenager ends up putting them in the hamper, knowing that the butler would find a reason for the boy to not wash them himself.
(Name) makes sure his bag is hidden under his bed before heading out of his room to look for more cameras. The boy roams the hallways of the manor, hoping that he looks like a clueless child exploring his new home. He tries to remember as many locations of the devices as possible. He hopes to ask Alfred for some paper and pens to write them down later, but in the meantime his memory has to be enough. (Name) turns around after hitting a dead end, deciding to look for the butler for his request, when he bumps into someone. The man had broad shoulders, partially hidden behind the grey hoodie, his hair messy, like he’d just run a hand through it — dark, tousled. Man's vibrant blue eyes, running over (name)'s younger frame.
"Hey, you're new here, right?" The man asks with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He only earns a shrug from (name), making the man let out an awkward cough. "Anyway, have you seen Tim? He's not in his room."
(Name) shakes his head, his brows furrowed slightly. The man already established that he's new here; how could he know where Tim is? The man with blue eyes leaves, understanding that he won't get the answer from the boy. The teenager finds that the more he learns about 'his' father's family, the less interested he becomes in interacting with any of them.
(Name) decides that it's enough of being outside of his room for the day, returning to the only space in the manor he feels somewhat safe in. The boy spends the next hour or so recalling the locations of the cameras he saw like a mantra. 
The boy is so wrapped up in remembering the cameras that he doesn't notice the sun beginning to set on the horizon. The knock on the door made (name) jump slightly, not expecting anyone to bother him in 'his' room. He lets the person behind the door know that they're welcome to come inside. The door opens, Alfred coming inside with a smile.
"(Name), I was wondering if you'd like to join the rest of the family for dinner tonight?" Alfred asks, the smile not leaving his face. The boy is about to decline when Alfred speaks up: "It would not only mean a lot to your father to see you getting along with the rest of the kids but to me as well."
Alfred watches the boy hesitate, possibly laying out the options, before agreeing. (Name) decides that meeting the rest of the family wouldn't hurt. Knowing who to avoid could be useful for him in the long run.
"Alfred? Do you think I could get some paper and a pen?" (name) asos, following behind the butler.
"Of course," Alfred smiles, his voice soft. "I'll make sure to put a notebook and some pens in your room after dinner."
You thank the man, taking a deep breath as you enter the dining room. You take a look around the table, not failing to notice all of the seats being taken. Alfred wonders why you don't sit down, so he also checks the table, noticing as well the lack of space for the boy.
"I invited Connor over," said the one in the hoodie, barely looking up from his plate. "Figured it wouldn’t hurt."
"It’s not like he ate with us yesterday," the youngest muttered, arms crossed and tone sharp, not missing a beat.
"Still, I believe you—" the butler began to speak, hoping to resolve the issue and still have (name) join the table.
"It's alright, Alfred." The boy interrupts the man's sentence, not seeing a point in staying in the room. "I would rather eat in my room anyway," (name) assures, hoping to just leave.
The butler sighs, fixing up a plate for the boy. (Name) hangs around the man, trying to ignore the stares at everyone sitting at the table. He grabs the plate from Alfred, thanking him. He can't help but overhear a conversation that started the moment they noticed him leaving.
"He's so weird," a voice that sounded like it belonged to the youngest spoke. "His mother should've raised him better." After hearing that (name) was close to returning to the room, giving the child a piece of his mind, but another voice stopped him from doing so.
"You shouldn't say that he's still your sibling." (Name) wasn't quite sure whose voice belonged to, but he was glad somebody was telling the child off.
"You don't know shit, Conner," the youngest spoke again. (Name) suddenly wishes he took a better look at the people at the table so he could know how the boy looked. 
Back in his room, (name) eats his dinner in peace, trying not to dwell on what the youngest Wayne said. Around the time the boy finishes his meal, Alfred comes around, as promised, carrying a notebook and a few pens. He puts them down on the desk with an apologetic smile. The boy uses the moment to ask the butler if he needs any help around the manor, mentioning that helping the man clean up would make it a great way to explore the place. The butler assures him that he's more than capable of taking care of the manor and that the teenager doesn't have to worry about others looking at him weirdly, most of them being used to kids roaming the place. It's almost a weekly occurrence that somebody walks the halls of the manor trying to learn its layout for the first time.
The next day (name) decides to take Alfred's words to heart and continue roaming the manor. The boy eats his breakfast in the butler's company, who still insists that he could make something for (name). The teenager moves to a different wing of the manor, hoping that, by expanding the knowledge about the layout, he could leave the place without ever being noticed.
As (name) walks deeper into the new wing of the manor, he finds himself growing anxious, the true size of the place finally hitting him like a truck. The boy feels trapped in the maze of the hallways. He doesn't pay proper attention to his surroundings anymore, no longer looking around for cameras, his mind fixated on returning to more familiar parts of the manor. (Name) rounded a corner too fast and collided straight into someone.
"Sorry," he blurted out, stumbling a step back. "I got kind of lost."
The guy he bumped into barely flinched. Tall, athletic build, warm brown skin, tight curls cropped close. Dressed casually but sharp: sneakers, dark jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt rolled at the elbows like he was always ready for something. (Name) recognises the boy from the family dinner fiasco.
"Nah, you’re good; don’t worry about it," the guy said with a relaxed grin. "You’re new here, right?"
"Oh, yeah," (name) nodded, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.
"Wow, didn’t know Bruce adopted another one." He extended a hand. "I’m Duke. Nice to meet you."
"(Name)," the boy replied, accepting Duke's hand and shaking it.
"I could show you around if you want." Duke offers a wide smile on his face.
"I’d rather explore blind; it helps with feeling the vibes of the space." (name) shook his head. Duke laughed a little at that, and it wasn’t mocking, no, it sounded like he got it.
"Maybe I could join you?" Duke asks, eager to get to know the new addition to the family. It was his first time meeting 'new meat', after all.
"Sorry," (name) said, not unkindly, just honestly. "I’d rather do that by myself."
"That’s fine," Duke replied, a smile never leaving his face. "If you ever need company, my room’s around the corner, third door on the left. I’ll be happy to hang out with you."
And with that, the other boy is gone, leaving (name) alone with his thoughts. He's not sure what to think of the teenager that he just met. 
(Name) resumes his journey, this time much less anxious as his mind focuses on playing the meeting with Duke over and over again. With him being all in his head, it was only a matter of time before (name) bumped into somebody again. Luckily for the teenager, this time it was Alfred who offered to help him find his way back to his room.
The boy spends the rest of the day cooped up in his room, only leaving for lunch that's accompanied by the butler. The rest of the time, (name) focuses on writing down the plans of the manor. He excludes the part he explored today, labelling it as being too far and too complicated to navigate for him to use it as his escape route. After dinner, which is also eaten with the butler, (name) asks Alfred if he could check out the garden.
"Of course, (name)," the butler smiles, happy that the boy decides against spending the evening in his room. "Just put on a hoodie; it's getting colder."
(Name) nods as if he wasn't already planning on grabbing one. He retreats to his room, putting on a hoodie and hiding a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in his pocket. On his way out to the gardens, he doesn't meet anyone, the manor feeling colder than the outside.
The boy finds a secluded area in the back of the garden, next to an overgrown pond. He takes out a cigarette, lighting it. (Name) inhales the smoke, filling his lungs with it. His body relaxes in the places he wasn't aware he was tense in. As the teenager smokes down half of the cigarette, it's taken out of his hands.
"I don't think it's good for you, kid," a man said, voice low and rough, like gravel under boots, with just the slightest edge of concern buried beneath all that worn-out indifference.
He blinked, startled, watching as the man stepped back and crushed the cigarette under his boot without ceremony. Older—by a few years, maybe—leaning against the crooked base of a crumbling angel statue. Leather jacket, boots that had seen better fights, and eyes that looked like they didn’t sleep much unless knocked out cold. He didn’t smile. Didn’t really look at him, either. Just knew exactly what he was doing.
"Isn’t it, like, the whole point of them?" he said, irritation bleeding through.
"Don’t play smart with me," the guy shot back. "I don’t care if your mother died; you shouldn’t go around smoking. It’s bad for the image."
"You don’t look like someone who gives a fuck about the image of this family," (name) laughed, short and sharp.
"Because I don’t." A small, crooked smirk. "But I don't want to listen to everybody's whines." The guy kicked a stone into the pond.
"Who are you anyway?" The guy looked at (name) sideways, like deciding whether or not to answer.
"None of your business." And with that, the guy turns around, walking down the path to the manor, not looking back to see if (name) takes out another cigarette.
Later that night, after a shower, (name) takes out the notebook. He carefully crafts a plan, hoping to leave the manor forever by the end of the week. The boy makes sure to plan out every possible outcome in case somebody notices him as (name) leaves. The boy also plans out an idea if somebody from the family were to find him.
The next few days, (name) makes sure to act as unalarming as possible. He's hoping to not attract attention from any of the residents of Wayne Manor. The boy continued eating his meals with the butler, the man being the only person in the family he was interacting with. The nights were spent polishing up the plan.
The boy started to believe he was getting away with the plans until one of the lunches with Alfred, the one less than two days before leaving the manor. Both of them were eating their food in silence, as they usually did. The butler's brows were furrowed, him trying to think of a way to approach something that he worried might be a sensitive topic.
"(Name), I couldn't help but notice that you haven't unpacked your bag yet," the man begins, his voice calm in order not to scare the boy. "Any particular reason as to why?"
"It's just… hard." (name) only partially lies, knowing that even if he wasn't planning on escaping, he would probably be too scared to unpack. "Feels like I'm letting go of my life. Of my mother?" The butler nods, understanding where the boy is coming from.
Over the course of the next few days, (name) starts preparing to leave the manor. He collects snacks with long expiration dates in his room, forcing them between the clothes in his bag. Every night, before falling asleep, the boy goes over the plan, looking for any loopholes. 
The day of the escape comes faster than the boy expected. That night, (name) stays awake until late at night; the clock struck three in the morning. He stands up from the bed he was sitting on, pulling a hoodie over his head. The teenager grabs his bag before taking another look over his room to make sure he doesn't leave anything behind. The manor is quiet, almost as if he were the only one in there.
(Name) already knows where to go; the window he picked up was found with ease, no light needed. As he reaches it, he hopes he's not wrong about the wines next to the window being strong enough to hold his weight. (Name) swings his legs over the window, taking one last look down the corridor, making sure nobody is watching. He throws the bag onto the ground before grabbing the wines. The boy places his steps carefully, slowly making his way down. Once he feels like he's low enough, he lets go of the vines, landing on the ground. From there the journey is easy, a few metres to the fence. Getting over it wasn't a problem with (name) having experience in jumping fences from his nightly stealing escapades.
The second the boy is on the other side of the fence, he starts running down the street, not looking back at the manor. He felt like a little kid, worried to spot 'his' father, or worse, Alfred, right behind him. (Name) only slows down when he reaches further into the city.
The teenager finds an abandoned building as far away from the manor as possible. In there he spends a few days, living mostly off the snacks he sneaked out and some questioning-looking water he found. He doesn't leave the building, not wanting anyone to spot him and alarm 'his' father.
Even after the snacks run out, the boy waits a whole other day before leaving the safety of the building. A bag hanging from his shoulder as he finds the right shop to 'borrow' things from. (Name) hangs around, mostly hidden in the shadows, waiting for the shop to close for the night.
With the precision of a surgeon, the boy picked the lock on the backdoor, allowing him to enter. He places some food and a few water bottles inside his bag, getting ready to leave. He stops in front of the cash register, wondering if there's any money in there. The boy decides to take his chance, forcing the register open. Luckily for him, there were a few bills that he grabbed. Maybe thanks to them, his next trip to a shop would be without breaking in. On his way out, (name) makes sure to grab a few packs of cigarettes, figuring it wouldn't hurt.
After leaving, the boy makes sure to make the lock look like it wasn't picked. He felt a little bad stealing from the owner and didn't want someone else to use the opening in the shop's security to steal even more things. (Name) lets out a sigh of relief, knowing the hardest part of the night is over and the only thing left to do is find another spot to camp in.
"Pretty sure your father wouldn't be happy about this," a low voice spoke behind (name), making him jump, scared.
The boy turned around to see who spotted him. (Name) sees a man dressed in black, a cape moving with the wind. The teenager recognises the man, knowing there's only one person in Gotham that's dressed like that. It's Batman.
"I'm pretty sure he hasn't noticed my absence." (name) feels confident, knowing the worst Batman could do is put him in timeout or something. No kill rule and all. "He'll live."
(name) is ready to leave, then the man grabs him by the collar. Batman starts dragging the boy somewhere, ignoring the yells and thrashing around them from the teenager. (Name) is so focused on trying to get the man to let go that he doesn't notice the two of them entering a building.
"Don't worry, Batman, we'll take it from here." A voice that belonged to Commissioner Gordon snapped the teenager out of the daze he was in. His head shot towards the Commissioner.
Batman lets go of the boy, who's instantly grabbed by two police officers. Same ones who brought him in all those days ago. The officers lead him towards the back of the station, putting him in the same cell he was sitting in the first time they caught him. The workers leave, grabbing the boy's bag, ignoring his protests. (Name) isn't left alone in the cell for long, Commissioner Gordon joining him soon enough.
"Don't worry; you'll get your bag back when your father comes and picks you up in the morning," the man assures, a tired look on his face.
The commissioner was hoping to never see the boy in such a space, remembering how much trouble he went through with finding the (name)'s biological father. As neither of them are in the mood to talk, Gordon doesn't stay long in the cell. He sees that the boy was away from the manor for at least a few days, judging by the dirt on the boy's clothes.
Gordon tells the boy to get some sleep, reminding him that his father will be notified in the morning about what he's done. With that, the commissioner leaves. (Name) looks around, a sense of déjà vu hitting him. It wasn't a long time since he left the cell.
(Name) lies down, wondering what he'll tell the person that would pick him up. He's not sure who he should hope for. ' His' father? Maybe it's not like he cares what the man thinks. Alfred? The boy knows that he's more likely to be picked up by the man, which scares him. (Name) isn't sure he'll be able to look into the butler's eyes after a stunt like that.
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taglist: @amber-content @bellethesleepypotato @leeiasure @sleepdeprivedcrappywriter
comment to be added!
m.list • part: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight
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sanguineterrain · 9 months ago
Note
Kurt wagner and tail stuff!!! I love that boy! I love how you write! I love the tail! Smashing them together we got a a little piece of heaven! So Kurt wagner with s/o and some tail action pretty please!!
(Like if you need some more then that: for example, the times before they were together Kurt’s tail always seemed to gravitate towards reader (I’m an advocate that Kurt’s tail is like a fricking mood ring) wrapping around them, touching them. The times when they were together! And the time reader wraps their hand or something around his tail or something)
Love your writing! You’re awesome and amazing! And I want to say in advance, thank you so so much for doing this ask! I will treasure it dearly! And if you don’t do the ask then thank you so so much to taking the time to read it! Have a lovely day!
ouuu this is a sweet request <3 tail boy! thanks nonnie :) hopefully I did him justice 🫶 changed the request a bit but kept the same idea about the tail. may write a part 2... we'll see!
kurt wagner (nightcrawler) x gn!reader. fluff, cooking, gambit and rogue trying to talk some sense into the reader.
note: I tried to capture kurt and gambit's accents. however, as always, I'm open to feedback on them. It's definitely not my intention to offend or miswrite anyone!
****
The smell of bubbling cheese wafts from your pot as you stir. It's been a while since you were able to cook for yourself and have a nice meal, always running out to do something or another for the good of the planet.
"Smells good," comes a familiar voice. A moment later, a tail curls around your wrist as you shake some paprika into the pot.
You look away from your stirring into golden, irisless eyes. Kurt grins at you.
"Mac 'n cheese," you say by way of greeting. "Want some?"
"Please und thank you."
Anytime you cook, you offer Kurt to share. You frequently have the thought that you spoil the hell out of him, but you can't help it.
He helps you out by putting away the milk and cheese. But he's never far; his tail remains on you. It slackens from your wrist, then explores up your arm and around your elbow.
It's nothing new, of course. The first thing you learned about Kurt Wagner is how physically affectionate he is.
"That tail seems to have a mind of its own, elfie," you say, smiling down at the pot.
"What do you mean?"
"It's always holding onto me." You turn off the burner.
"Ah." Kurt drops his tail. "My apologies. I can ease up, as you say."
You shake your head. "Don't. I don't mind. Never have."
So Kurt gives you one final tail squeeze. The fur on his arm tickles you as he brushes past. You watch him in confusion.
"Where are you going?" you ask, halfway through scooping two servings of the pasta.
"Not far," he says brightly. "Jean wanted me to bring spoons from the kitchen." He holds up three metal spoons with his tail.
"Spoons?"
He shrugs. "An experiment. Who am I to question a scientist's whim? I promise I will be fast."
He teleports away, and you have a mind to cover Kurt's bowl with a plate. You bring both bowls to the table. At last, a proper meal.
You don't mind eating alone, but that hardly ever happens with Kurt around. Even if he's just eaten, he'll nibble on whatever you've made. You don't know where he puts all that food—perhaps in another dimension—but he makes it a point to eat with you, regardless of whether you've cooked or not. Even if you're in the middle of the forest eating a tin of beans, Kurt will plant himself right next to you and keep you company.
He's a good friend. The best friend you've ever had, actually.
"Woo, smells good!"
Gambit comes in first, followed by Rogue, since the two are never seen apart anymore. Gambit, nosy that he is, makes a beeline to Kurt's covered bowl.
"And what's in here?" he asks, lifting the plate.
"That's Kurt's," you say. "You can get some from the pot."
"Mais, it's Kurt's, huh?" He glances at Rogue, who grins. "Hear that, chère? Not sure if I should take from the pot. Might take my head, too."
You squint as they share laughter. "What're you talking about?"
"Oh, nothin'," Rogue says sweetly, taking the seat diagonal to you. Gambit sits next to her.
Your frown deepens. "I didn't say you couldn't have some, G, I just—"
Gambit shakes his head. "Don't go worryin' 'bout that. I'm just teasin'. I think it's cute how you feed the furball."
"Excuse me, I feed myself first," you say, and shovel a forkful of pasta into your mouth.
You hate not being in the know. It happens frequently, being that you're not a mutant. You're here on a personal invitation from Charles due to your "technology skills."
Really, you'd been brought here to fix Cerebro. And after that, you'd sort of just... stayed at the school. Charles had offered you a room, Kurt had won your friendship (or, perhaps, you'd won his), and you'd never left.
"Well, what do you mean, anyway? So what if I feed Kurt," you say, unable to stand not knowing.
"Just seems like where you are, Kurt's never far," Rogue says, watching you eat.
"Yeah, so? He's my friend."
"Oh, un ami. Is that what we're callin' it?" Gambit asks, eyes gleaming with mirth.
"What else would you call it?"
They look at each other in that Siamese cats way. Often, you've had the thought that they can read each other's minds—no powers needed.
"You really don't know?" Rogue asks, voice softening.
"Know what?" you ask impatiently.
Gambit makes a quiet noise in his throat. "Y'all don't know. He's gone on you."
Your brows rise. "Kurt? Don't be silly, Remy."
"Oh, great. You're both in denial," Rogue says, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you noticed how touchy he is around ya? Always huggin' and clingin'."
"Kurt's like that with everybody," you say. "He's like that with Logan!"
"Mais, the tail, it never lies," Gambit says with all the wisdom of someone centuries older. "He don't go wrappin' that tail 'round anybody."
Rogue nods sagely. "True. And he's always puttin' that tail around you."
"But he's..." You put your fork down in frustration. "That's ridiculous. Kurt would've said—I mean, there would've been a sign. He would've told me. Kurt doesn't hide anything from me."
"This is new for him, honey," Rogue says. "He's never been in love for real. He's not gonna act rationally."
"Alors, look at it this way. La Raison parle, mais l'Amour chante. Hm? His body betray his words. It sings to you. Jus' like I sing to ma cherie."
He reaches to take Rogue's hand, eyes practically heart-shaped. Rogue lets him, smiling in that secret, shy way of hers whenever Gambit is sweet on her.
L'Amour...
"Kurt is not in love with me," you say. "End of story."
They both heave sighs.
"Just watch his tail," Rogue says. "Kurt can hide a lot, but he can't control how he—"
BAMF!
You flinch as Kurt teleports into the kitchen. He grins and waves, then bounces around the table to greet the others.
"I'm back!" he says. "I hope my mac did not get cold. Will you be eating with us?"
"No, that's okay," Rogue says, looking at you meaningfully behind Kurt's back. "Rain check. We've gotta go train."
Gambit winks at you. "See y'all."
They disappear quickly. Kurt turns to you, blissfully unaware of your newly formed nerves.
"I am sorry I was gone for so long," Kurt says, sitting down to his bowl. "Jean had some questions about my abilities. Apparently, she's trying to replicate them in a machine."
"That's okay," you say. "Rogue and G kept me company."
Kurt beams. "They are so good for that, yes?"
He shovels a mouthful of mac 'n cheese into his mouth and groans in appreciation. His tail instantly curls around your wrist.
"Amazing!" Kurt says. "Perhaps your special ability is your cooking, hm? I would believe it."
You laugh. "Danke, elfie."
"Bitte schön," he says, eyes lighting up at your German. He frequently informs everyone about how good your German is becoming, even though you hardly know ten phrases.
His tail begins to stroke your arm. You wonder if he's aware of it. If he knows how his tail betrays him.
But no, that's outrageous. And even if it was true, it's not like the feeling's mutual, right?
"Oh, and," Kurt says. "I got us tickets to that show you wanted to see. They're playing it at the theater downtown. We can go on Saturday, ja?"
"You... oh. Wow. I told you about that ages ago, Kurt. You remembered?"
"Why wouldn't I?" he says, tilting his head. Like it hadn't occurred to him to be anything less than thoughtful.
"No, I'm just—thank you. That's really nice of you."
Kurt beams. "I am excited to watch the green witch und her pink friend sing!"
He keeps eating, unaware of the way he's made your world tip on its axis. Because now you know.
You're in love with Kurt Wagner. And the feeling just might be mutual.
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nebulaafterdark · 10 months ago
Text
A Marriage For Love
Summary: When Y/N and Aegon receive news that they cannot wed, they flee King’s Landing for a simple life in Bravvos. Upon returning to visit their families, they find themselves face to face with the consequences of their actions. Cheesy, targcest, idiots in love. Based off this request.
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“We mustn’t allow them to carry on like this!”Alicent shouts.
“I agree,” Rhaenyra says, heartily. “Keep your son away from my daughter.”
“Keep your daughter away from my son!” Alicent bites out. “She should begin preparing for her marriage to the Lord of the Riverlands as Aegon should be spending more time with Helaena.”
“Mayhaps there is a simpler solution.” The King sighs, with a hand to his head.
“What is it you suggest, father?” Rhaenyra wonders.
“We might betroth Y/N and Aegon.” He smiles, looking between his daughter and wife.
“You may betroth my firstborn son to her…plain featured daughter when I am cold and in my grave.”
“Alicent!” Viserys roars.
Aegon wastes no more time listening to them quarrel, setting off in search of Y/N. He finds her in the library, as she often is. “Y/N,” he kneels before her chair. Closing the book and using his finger against the binding to hold her place.
Y/N looks up at him. “What is it?”
“There is something I must tell you.” From the time they were small, Y/N has been the one to hold his secrets.
“Speak it,” she squeezes his wrist.
“Only moments ago my father offered to betroth us, our mothers rejected the proposal. They want your hand for some River Lord and mine for Helaena.”
“No.”
Aegon cups her face in his hand. “Come away with me. We can build a new life, together. It may not be as lush, but it will be ours. You will still have your cakes as they please you, I swear it.”
“You would do that for me?”
“I would do more for you and worse.” Aegon smirks.
“Well…what shall I bring?” Y/N asks, ignoring the pang of guilt in her chest.
“Pack sparingly, a change of clothes or two. We’ll need gold and jewelry to trade; enough to get us started.”
“Where will we go?”
“One of the free cities,” he decides, “no one will be looking for us there. And it does not have to be forever, long enough for us to get married. If we’ve a child, they’ll have no choice but to honor our union.”
“Alright,” Y/N swallows.
“Go now,” he presses his lips to her forehead. “Meet me at the dragon pit in one hour’s time.”
The princess nods, nuzzling against him for just a moment before they break apart.
By the time anyone comes looking for them, Y/N and Aegon are long gone. Leaving behind only a note.
‘If you will not allow us to marry for love, we will do so elsewhere.’
King Viserys is so distraught at the news, he passes with the shock of it.
Rhaenyra takes her place as Queen, refusing to rename her heir.
————————————————————————
Life is different in Braavos, no maids, dragon keepers nor castle. Aegon cuts his hair up to his chin on the day of their wedding, freeing himself from the memories it holds.
There are rumors of course, about the town baker and his wife, the tailor, who may or may not be the long lost prince and princess. Their dragons do nothing to disprove these whispers, however they do stop them from reaching the Red Keep.
Years pass, news breaks that Y/N is with child, growing rounder by the day.
After a long day’s work, Aegon is exhausted, shucking off his boots near the door of their humble abode and bringing his wife an offering of sweets.
Y/N smells Aegon before she sees him, calling out from the kitchen, “what have you brought me today, husband?”
“What if it were for me, spoiled thing?” Aegon chuckles, lying his offering on the counter to wrap his arms around her. Their babe kicking at his palms.
Y/N reaches back, cupping his cheek. “Best turn about and fetch mine then.”
He smiles, pressing kisses to her shoulder. “How is our little dragon treating you?”
“Well enough,” Y/N sighs, stirring the broth. “I have not wretched this day.”
“That is good.” He pats her belly. “I brought you cake.”
“What kind?”
“Dinner first, my heart.” Aegon insists.
“Or I could have cake for dinner.”
Aegon sighs, as she leans into him.
“Please?”
“Very well.”
Y/N turns to face him, abandoning her cooking in favor of his kiss. “Thank you.”
————————————————————————
Bringing their love into the world is a long and grueling task, Aegon keeps her spirits up as best he can. Unfortunately there is only so much a man can do for a laboring wife.
Y/N is exhausted by the time she delivers the afterbirth, fighting sleep as she nurses their newborn daughters. A task she deems horribly painful in itself.
Aegon strokes her hair, whispering words of love and encouragement until the babes are satisfied. “You rest now, I will bathe them.”
His wife does not protest, allowing her heavy eyes to close.
Neither of the twins cry, until gods forbid he sets them down. “Shh,” Aegon hushes them, taking one in each arm. “Papa put you down for only a moment, surely you cannot be held at all times.”
The babe on the left yawns, stretching out her little arms. The babe on the right merely blinks at him.
Until they learn to crawl, Dahlia and Visera are indeed held at all times.
————————————————————————
By the time their sons are born, Y/N often tells stories of her family back in King’s Landing. Her mother especially, who she wishes to meet them.
Aegon returns from the dragon’s nest with two new eggs, one for each of their boys. “Stormborn and Sunfyre are thoughtful, they deliver us clutches in pairs.”
Y/N smiles, from their dragons came an egg for each of their children. “Let’s see.” She waves her husband over.
Their eldest son, Laenor, toddles toward him, pointing to the bright golden egg, “mine.”
“Ah, ah, hold on just a moment now.” Aegon says.
“Please?” The two year old pouts.
“Yes, alright.” Aegon sets the dark blue egg down beside his wife and youngest son. “We must be careful with it now, sit in Papa’s lap. We’ll hold it together, hmm?”
Laenor claps his little hands together, reaching up for his father.
Aegon backs up to the arm chair, holding the egg above his head, “climb up.”
Laenor furrows his brow, crawling into his father’s lap.
“There we are, my boy.” Aegon holds the egg infront of him, allowing Laenor to touch the egg’s scales.
“Look, Papa.” He points.
“I see, my love. Soon it will be a little dragon, just for you.”
Laenor squeals in delight, “Mama, look.”
“I see it, sweet boy. That is a lovely egg.” Y/N grins.
Dahlia and Visera play happily on the floor with their own dragons, still small enough to tote about.
At all of six months old, Aegon the fourth has no understanding of the word gentle, he slaps at the egg like a drum.
“Aegon!” Y/N can’t help but laugh, moving him away. “You must be kind to your dragon.”
“Him fly!” Laenor tells his brother, who merely stares back at him with a toothy grin.
“Yes, he will fly.” Aegon smooths down the curls at the back of his son’s head.
“When your uncle Joffrey, was born Ser Harwin took Jace, Luce and I down to the dragon pit to find the perfect egg.” Y/N recounts, with a far off look in her eyes. “He must be a man grown now.”
Aegon clears his throat, praying he does not live to regret what he murmurs next. “What if we went to visit your mother?”
“Well…” Y/N sighs, patting her son’s legs as he climbs over her. “We couldn’t.”
“Why not?” Aegon challenges, “it’s a short trip on dragon back.”
Y/N stares down at her hands, “my mother must be very angry at me.”
“My mother was never anything but angry with me.” Aegon chortles, “Rhaenyra will get over it.”
“Are you certain?” Y/N frowns, “I know how you detest court.”
Aegon nods, “for you, the world.”
————————————————————————
Word spreads through the streets of King’s Landing like wildfire. Princess Y/N and Prince Aegon have returned to them.
Daemon is the first of their family members to cross their path, all but dragging Y/N to his wife in the throne room.
“You wait here,” he barks at Aegon. Leaving him outside with the children. “Princess Y/N Velaryon,” Daemon calls upon their entrance.
Rhaenyra moves to stand.
The king consort leaves them to it.
“Your grace, I would first like to apologize for my long absence.” Y/N says, as her mother stalks toward her; expression unreadable.
Rhaenyra pulls her daughter into her arms, cradling the back of her head. “You must never do that to me again.”
“Mother,” Y/N cries, clinging to her like a child. “I am so terribly sorry.”
“Shhh,” Rhaenyra sways her. “We can still make this right.”
“I should like that very much.”
“You need only say the word and I will have your marriage annulled.”
“What?” Y/N withdraws, “no. You cannot annul our marriage, it’s been consummated…several times over. We’ve children.”
“Children?” Rhaenyra sucks in a breath.
“Two daughters and two sons.”
“Might I see my grandchildren?”
“Of course,” Y/N holds up a finger, dashing over to the throne room doors and inviting her family inside.
The children scamper in as Rhaenyra’s eyes well with tears.
Dahlia stares at her grandmother in wonder, while Visera clings to Aegon’s leg.
“This is my mummy,” Y/N tells her children, “remember how I told you?”
Laenor moves toward her first, waving his hands.
“Well hello, my prince,” Rhaenyra bends down to greet him. “Who might you be?”
He smiles, “up.”
Rhaenyra huffs a laugh, taking him into her arms. “That’s quite a name, Prince Up.”
“It’s Laenor,” Y/N says, bringing Dahlia closer, with their hands clasped together. “This is Dahlia.”
“Good morrow,” Dahlia smiles.
“Good morrow, Dahlia. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Rhaenyra beams, “if you could put in a good word for me with your sister, it would be much appreciated.”
“Visera is shy.” Dahlia whispers, “but she will come round.”
Aegon the fourth kicks his chubby legs, squirming about in his father’s arms as they approach the Queen.
“My goodness.” Rhaenyra turns to him, “what a warm welcome.”
The little boy squeals, as Y/N takes him from Aegon, freeing his arms for Visera, who hides her face in his shoulder.
“And this is Aegon, the fourth.” Y/N smiles, presenting him to her mother.
Rhaenyra grins, “hello, sweet boy.”
He covers both eyes, with his little hands, babbling loudly.
“You are a delight.” Rhaenyra reaches a hand out, tickling his belly. “I should like you all to join us in the grand hall for supper tonight. We will feast, in your honor.”
“Mother, we did not prepare clothes for a feast.” Y/N tells her. “But if you’ve material, I will make do. In these past years, I have learned to stitch quite well.”
“And I could assist in the kitchens.” Aegon offers.
Y/N’s eyes light up, “you must taste his baking, mother. It is divine.”
Rhaenyra shakes her head. Not sparing a glance at her half brother, “you are my guests. I will have gowns and robes sent to your rooms. You will find everything as you left it.”
Y/N smiles, “we’ll see you for dinner then.”
The Queen nods, excusing them.
Y/N and Aegon lead the children away from the throne room, up the stairs toward Y/N’s old apartments. Meeting her younger brother and his heavily pregnant wife on the stairs.
“Sister?” Jacaerys blinks at her.
“Jace!”
“My love, might you find Luce and Joffrey?” Jacaerys asks of his wife. “Tell them our sister is here.”
“Of course, husband.” Baela leans in as his lips brush her cheek.
“You’re going to be a father?” Y/N grabs for his arm.
“I am a father.” Jace grins, “this will be our third.”
“Has it been that long?”
“Some seven years, sister.” Jacaerys looks to the children behind her. “And you,” he laughs, “have more to show for it than I do.”
Again Aegon is left standing off to the side as Y/N’s family fuss over her and their children. He is glad for it, surely. This is her dream, not his.
“Aegon?” Alicent gasps at the sight of him.
He turns to her slowly, “Mother?”
The Dowager Queen grimaces, “a word?”
“But of course.” Aegon steals one last glance at his wife and children before following his mother down the corridor. For a moment he thinks she might embrace him, until she grabs his face harshly between her fingers.
“What were you thinking?” Alicent seethes, “taking off like that? Putting your father in such a state of distress; his illness took him not even a day after receiving word that you stole his only granddaughter and heir to the throne.”
“Stole her?” Aegon huffs a laugh, “I did not steal her.”
“Did you not think for one second of the shame it would bring on your siblings, or me?”
“As you thought of my wants when you promised me to Helaena?” Aegon spits back.
“It was expected of you,” Alicent seethes.
“Only my supposed wrongdoings are ever clear to you.” Aegon scoffs, “so strike me for it, as you always do and let us be done with it. How dare I desire to marry the one person in the world who loved me?”
Alicent recoils as though he’s slapped her.
“Aegon?” Y/N calls for him, “where’ve you run off to?”
“I’m just here, darling girl.” Aegon replies, striding away from his mother.
“Is everything alright?” Y/N asks, holding a hand out to him.
“All is well, my dearest love.”
————————————————————————
Dinners at the Red Keep have not been this tense in years. Namely because the Blacks and Greens rarely break bread together.
Jacaerys’ and Baela’s children dance with their cousins as the quartet plays merrily, the six of them becoming fast friends.
Y/N laughs, pointing toward their eldest son. “Look, my love.”
Aegon leans his head closer to hers peering around his brother. Laenor spins round in circles until he is dizzy enough to fall over. When he is able to stand, he goes straight back to it. Aegon chuckles, “we’ll need to keep an eye on that one.”
“Without doubt.” Y/N remarks, bouncing Aegon the fourth in her lap. He grabs a fistful of her mashed potatoes.
“Oh my,” Aegon grabs his hand, wiping it clean with his napkin.
“You’d like dinner too, wouldn’t you?” Y/N says, turning the boy toward her.
Little Aegon coos at her.
Aegon presses a kiss to his son’s cheek.
“Won’t you excuse me for a moment,” Y/N addresses the table, “I need to feed him.”
“We’ve nurses,” Daemon offers. “You’re welcome to finish your meal.”
“That’s quite alright,” Y/N says, pushing away from the table. “We’ve survived without nurses thus far.”
Aegon catches her hand, “will you return or shall I bring the children up when they are through?”
“I will return, shortly.” Y/N squeezes his fingers before moving down the row of chairs into the hall.
Aegon clears his throat, as other occupants of the table eye him, warily. “Lovely meal.”
“Indeed,” Otto agrees.
————————————————————————-
Y/N wakes the next morn to rays of sun shining through the large window of her childhood bedchamber.
Aegon feels her begin to stir, tightening his hold around her waist.
“What did your mother say to you yesterday?”
“It is far too early to raise this matter, my heart.” He grumbles.
Y/N huffs, toying with his fingers. “She was awful to you, wasn’t she?”
Aegon presses his lips to her shoulder, “it matters not.”
“It matters to me.”
Days pass, Y/N does not press the subject. Though she does exercise every opportunity to glare at her mother by law.
They spend afternoons in the courtyard garden, with their children. Picking flowers to make crowns, finding shapes in the clouds.
“Just there I see a rabbit.” Visera tells her mother and father.
“Where?” Aegon cocks his head to the side.
“There’s the ears and there’s its tail.”
“Oh, I see.” Aegon spots it, “that’s quite a coat of fur on him, hmm?”
Aegon the fourth plucks petals from the wildflowers Dahlia weaves together, sighing as she does.
“What troubles you, my love?” Y/N asks, passing a hand over her silver waves.
“Everyone has been so kind and happy to receive us…though no one seems happy to receive father.” Dahlia says, taking one of the flowers and tucking it behind her Papa’s ear.
“That is the way of things, my darling.” Aegon smiles, sadly.
“We are happy to receive him.” Y/N insists. “Give father a big hug.”
Laenor sees the pile of bodies, throwing himself on top of his elder sisters.
“Squeeze him as tightly as you can and say ‘I love you, father.’”
“I love you, father!” Even Aegon the fourth chimes in, with a loud approving babble.
“I love you too.” Aegon tells his children, wrapping his arms around them.
“I think if no one is kind to you, we ought to go back home.” Visera whispers to him. “It needn’t be the way of things.”
“Too right you are, my darling.” Y/N breathes.
“Y/N, might I have a word with you?” Rhaenyra calls out to the courtyard.
“Of course, your grace,” she smiles, looking to her children. “Keep father company for me. I’ll return shortly.”
Rhaenyra leads her farther into the gardens. “When you were a girl, your grandsire and I would bring you here to watch the changing of the leaves.”
“I remember.” Y/N says, wistfully.
“I owe you an apology,” Rhaenyra takes her hands. “For many years, I thought Aegon stole you away from me. I blamed him, for the death of our father.”
“It was not his fault, mother.” Y/N insists, “I wanted a marriage for love.”
“I see that now.” Rhaenyra assures her. “He is a fine husband to you and a good father to your children. I should not have pushed so relentlessly to end your union.”
Y/N shakes her head, “all is forgiven.”
“Even in our years apart, you have remained my heir. As I believe you would be a great ruling Queen, if that is what you desire. I will provide your children places of high status in court. For Aegon, a seat at the small council.” Rhaenyra offers, “and of course, my sincere apology for the way I have acted.”
“You wish for us to stay?”
Rhaenyra cups her cheek, “very much so.”
Y/N looks down at her wedding ring. “I know Alicent has been unkind to him. I will not stay in a place where he’s treated poorly.”
“I will speak with her.”
“And…I fear Aegon holds little interest in the small council.” Y/N admits, “I hope that too is negotiable.”
“All things are,” Rhaenyra assures her.
Taglist: @donalesaa @spacexdrago @shadowrose13-blog1 @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @niyahnotnia @oh-you-mean-me @lycaonpictusphotography
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just-nc-tea · 3 months ago
Text
the truth untold ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
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⭑.ᐟ Fake Dating - Sim Jaeyun Jake’s world takes a nosedive when he gets a wedding invitation from his high school ex—the same ex who cheated on him—with your ex. Desperate to avoid showing up alone Jake ropes you into a fake relationship, just for the evening. Originally. But if you’re going to sell the lie, you have to make it convincing. That means dates, inside jokes, learning the little details about each other that real couples would know. By the time the wedding arrives, neither of you are sure where the act ends and the truth begins.
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ᝰ genre. Hockeyplayer! Jake, college sports , angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn, fluff, suggestive, fake dating.ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ warnings. Swearing, partying, consumption of weed, alcohol and nicotine, suggestive language & actions, shitty exes, strained family relations, mention of death, desciption of murder (Y/N is a anthropology student and works with dead bodies, but it's nothing detailed) PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I FORGOT ANYTHING .ᐟ₊ ⊹ ᝰ word count. 31.k .ᐟ₊ ⊹ --⟢ PART 2
series masterlist ⭑.ᐟ ⤷ GET ADDED THE TAGLIST HERE ⁀➴༯ OR COMMENT 🏒
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You dragged yourself up the stairs to your apartment, your legs and shoulder aching under the weight of your uni bag and the bag of groceries you were carrying. You were regretting your gym session while you were on the bench press and now, after three back-to-back lectures and one surprise pop quiz later, you felt like a shell of a person.
When you reached the small cluster of mailboxes near your door, you let out a sigh. You haven’t looked into your mailbox for a few days and there were a ton of letters, most likely promotional flyers, peeking out of it. You fumbled with the key, twisted it open, and immediately regretted it. A flood of envelopes tumbled out, some landing on your sneakers, others scattering across the floor. “Of course,” you muttered under your breath, crouching to gather the mess. Flyers for pizza places you’d never try, glossy brochures for local gyms that clearly overestimated your interest in fitness. You flipped through the pile absentmindedly. You froze.
Your name, neatly scrawled in delicate cursive on an off-white envelope, stood out in the sea of junk mail. The paper was expensive, thick to the touch. You turned the envelope around, revealing a wax seal with two conjoined rings in the middle. A RSVP? You rattled your brain, thinking who might be getting married, but your mind came up with nothing.  Curiosity got the better of you, and you tore the envelope open. Inside, a golden-embossed wedding invitation practically sparkled under the streetlight. You scanned the details, and snorted. You are cordially invited to the wedding of Sophia Williams and Marcus Baker. We’d be honored to have you celebrate our special day.
Your ex-best friend. And your ex-boyfriend. Getting married. 
You snorted. “Special day, my ass,” you muttered, shoving the invitation back into the envelope. The nerve. There was no way you were going up at that shit show to play nice, as if the two of them didn’t break your heart in a million pieces. Whatever sick sense of closure they thought they were offering you, you weren't interested. There was no chance in hell you were going to that wedding. You put the letter back into its envelope and tossed it together with your junk mail into your bags continuing your way into your apartment. 
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You were on your way to your Forensic Taphonomy class, when you spotted Jake sitting on one of the benches along the water fountain on the campus, his eyes closed while he enjoyed the early spring sun. You dropped down next to him on bench, startling him: “Hi Jake.” His head shoot into your direction and his eyes flew open. “Y/N!”, he said while putting a hand to his chest, “You just scared the shit out of me.”  You laughed and shook your head. “I am sorry Jake. Do you know what scared the shit out of me yesterday? Marcus and Sophias RSVP.” Jake gawked at you: “Their what?”
“Their RSVP. Those two are getting married and had the audacity to invite me. I don’t even know where they got my new address from.”, you shrugged, leaning back and closing your eyes. You didn’t get particularly much sunlight in the lab or the library, so every ray of sunshine had to be cherished.  “Oh shit. Are you going?”, Jake asked. “To the wedding of my ex best friends and my ex, who cheated on me with said best friend? Fuck no. I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than do that.”, you snorted, shaking your head.  Jake let out a low whistle, leaning back on the bench with a bitter smirk tugging at his lips. “Man, they’ve got some nerve.” You snorted, crossing your arms as you turned your head into his direction. “Right? Honestly, I thought I’d never have to see them again. But they apparently don’t share that opinion.” Jake shook his head, his jaw tightening. “Jesus christ. Why would they get married? You can’t tell me they really love each other.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “God. How were we ever in love with those two narcissistic assholes? We are too nice and pretty to have lost time and energy even talking to them.” Jake glanced over at you, a flicker of amusement crossing his face. “We were young and naive. And we had to learn the hard way. But are you really not tempted to attend? Maybe dump red wine on Marcus’s tux for good measure?” The mental image made you laugh, but you quickly shook your head. “Nah, I don’t have the energy for that kind of drama. Plus, I’d probably just end up making a fool of myself. They’re not worth the effort.” Jake’s lips quivered in a half-smile, his bitterness softening just slightly. “Yeah. They’re really not.” The two of you sat there in silence for a moment, the sound of the fountain splashing in the background. Jake broke the silence. 
“You know, I always thought Sophia was smarter than this. Cheating with Marcus of all people? Like, come on. At least pick someone who doesn’t talk about himself in the third person.” You laughed, covering your mouth to stifle the sound. “Right? And Marcus was always so... ugh. He thought he was God’s gift to women. The fact that she fell for- not the fact that I fell for him is just–” You threw up your hands in mock exasperation. Jake smirked. “Don’t remind me. I still have nightmares about all the dumb shit he used to say. He was such an asshole to everyone.” “And yet here we are, left in the dust while they ride off into their happily-ever-after,” you said dryly, rolling your eyes. “Life’s funny like that.”
Jake leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he glanced at you. “Funny isn’t the word I’d use, but yeah. Guess we’re stuck with the same shitty chapter in our history books.” You gave him a faint smile, the bitterness in his tone mirroring your own. “Well, I should probably get going,” you said, standing up and brushing off your pants. “Forensic Taphonomy waits for no one.” “Tapho-what?”, Jake asked.
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Jake was toweling his hair dry, while walking into the kitchen of his dorm. Heeseung was basically sleeping with his eyes open while Jay was aggressively whipping eggs. Whatever he was cooking right now smelled heavenly. But Jake would eat anything right now. Practice had been brutal, and he was ready to collapse, but his stomach continuously made growling sounds that he couldn’t ignore.  He dropped down next to Heeseung, startling his captain awake. On the table in front of him was a pile of letters that someone had brought inside. His gaze narrowed at the fancy, embossed envelope propped against a stack of unopened mail. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was from. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he mutters, ripping open the golden waxseal.  For a moment, he just stared at it, blinking, trying to process the sheer audacity it must’ve taken to send him this. His jaw clenched, and the annoyance bubbled up fast. Who the hell invites both their exes to their wedding–the same people they cheated on to be together? 
“What’s up?”, Heeseung asked, resting his head on his hand. Jake tossed the letter on the table again, leaning back into the chair and signing exasperated. “Who the fuck invites both their exes to their wedding. They cheated on us. For fucks sake!”  “Who?”, Jay asked, turning around still whipping eggs.  “Sophia and Marcus are getting married. Y/N received her invitation yesterday and now,”, he gestured towards the letter, “they apparently thought it would be appropriate to invite me as well.” “What the fuck.”, Heeseung leaned forward to grab the letter. “Dear Jake. You are cordially invited to the wedding of Sophia Williams and Marcus Baker. We’d be honored to have you celebrate our special day.”
Jake pressed the palm of his hands into his eyes. “Cordially invited my ass.” Jay snorted, turning back to his pan but keeping an ear on the conversation. “That’s insane. Why would they even think you’d show up?” Jake let out a bitter laugh, leaning back in his chair with a heavy sigh. “Our families still have a lot to do with each other. My parents are still obsessed with Sophia. They used to invite her over for dinner even after we broke up. Didn’t even tell me until I ran into her at the house once.” He shook his head, rubbing his temple. “I’m almost positive my dad’s going to call me any second and gush about how I should be happy for her and how disappointed he is that it’s not me she is marrying.”
Heeseung’s jaw dropped. “They what? You’re kidding.” “I wish I was,” Jake muttered. “They’ve been close with her parents forever. Business stuff or whatever. My dad loved that she came from a ‘respectable’ family, you know? I could’ve been dating the queen of England and she still wouldn’t have measured up to Sophia in his eyes.” Jay slid a plate of egg fried rice onto the counter and turned to face them fully, arms crossed. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean you have to go. You’re a grown-ass man, Jake. Just don’t show up. Screw your dad. You don’t owe him anything.” Jake huffed out a dry laugh, running a hand through his damp hair. “Yeah, easier said than done. You know my dad, Jay. This wedding is going to be crawling with people he thinks are ‘important.’ You know how he is about appearances. If I don’t go, it’ll somehow be my fault for making the family look bad.”
Heeseung leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “But what about you, man? Doesn’t matter to him that this is…what’s the word? Oh, right. Humiliating. You’re just supposed to suck it up and show up all smiles?" “Probably,” Jake muttered, crossing his arms. “In his eyes, I probably deserved it. He’s already implied before that if Sophia cheated, it’s because I ‘let her slip through my fingers.’” Jay’s eyes widened in disbelief. “He actually said that?" Jake nodded grimly. “Yup. Every time I screw up, he brings it up. Like losing her was some monumental failure on my part. Honestly, he probably thinks that showing up to the wedding is a chance to redeem myself somehow." Heeseung shook his head, looking genuinely pissed on Jake’s behalf. “That’s messed up, man. Beyond messed up. You can’t let him keep controlling you like that.”
“What choice do I have?” Jake shot back, frustration lacing his voice. “If I don’t go, it’ll be endless guilt trips and lectures. And let’s not forget the part where my dad’s probably going to find a way to make it about how I’m an embarrassment to the family.” He exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m telling you, I won’t have a choice. If my dad wants me there, I’ll have to go." Jay frowned, leaning against the counter. “So, what, you just show up and let them parade you around?” “I don’t know. Wait until my parents text me and then be the disappointment I am born to be I guess.”, Jake shrugged.
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Jake was mindlessly scrolling on his phone, listening to his professors rambling over bananas and their ability to act as a payment agent? He was watching a reel recap of the top moments of their last game when he got the message he knew was going to come. His stomach tightened.
Dad:
You’ll be at the wedding. No excuses.
Jake gritted his teeth. Of course. 
Jake: I’m thinking about it.
He shoved the phone into his pocket, forcing himself to focus on the lecture. Bananas, yes. Economical life cycle. 
Rotting bananas no good for economical life cycle.
Oh god. What? 
His phone buzzed again.
Dad: Do you have any idea how bad it will look if you don’t show? The Kims have been family friends for years, and your absence would reflect poorly on all of us. Don’t let this turn into yet another disappointment.
Jake felt the heat rise to his face. The words “yet another disappointment” echoed in his head like a slap. He closed his notebook, muttered a quick apology to the professor, and slipped out of the classroom to take a breath.
Just as he reached the hallway, his phone started ringing. 
He took a deep breath and answered with a resigned, “Yes, Dad?”
The voice on the other end was sharp, controlled, and laced with cold authority. “Don’t give me that tone, Jaeyun.”
Jaeyun. Never Jake. Or son. Or anything else that would indicate that his father feels any positive emotion towards him. 
“You are coming to that wedding.”, his dad said in a voice that signaled he didn’t take no as an answer.
“I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal. Sophia cheated on me. Why the hell would I want to be at their wedding?”, Jake said, biting back his frustration. 
“Because it’s not about what you want,” his father snapped. “This is about appearances, Jake. About responsibility. This isn’t up for debate, Jake. You’re expected to be there. The whole family is going. Your brother is flying in from the States for this–it’s a family obligation. Sophia was-”
“Don’t,” Jake interrupted, his grip tightening on the phone. “Don’t start talking about how Sophia was perfect or how I screwed it up. She cheated on me, Dad.”
“And what does that say about you?” his father countered coldly.
Jake had to bite his tongue to stop himself from talking back. 
“You had her,” his father continued. “She was beautiful, smart, and from a good family. But somehow, you weren’t enough to keep her. Now she has found a husband from a respectable family and you are still bitter about it.”
Why can’t his dad just leave him alone? What did he care about Jake's love life? He already had his golden son, who was as good as married, worked in the company and did everything right. 
Jake ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tight. “I’m not going alone,” he said, the words tumbling out. 
“Excuse me?”
“I said I’m not going alone, if i am attending at all.” Jake repeated, his voice firmer this time.
There was a long, heavy pause on the other end of the line. 
“What’s her name?” his father asked, his tone even and clinical, like he was conducting a job interview.
Jake swallowed hard, realizing too late the corner he’d just backed himself into. He took a breath, bracing himself. “Y/N. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now.” Y/N? Did he just utter your name? Fuck. 
Another pause. This one was longer, heavier.
“What’s her last name?” his dad finally asked, his tone quiet and deliberate.
Jake swallowed hard, wishing he could take back every word. 
“Y/N,” he said. “Y/N Y/L/N.”
“Y/L/N.” His father repeated the name slowly, almost like he was testing it. “I’ll assume she’s presentable. Background?”
Jake bristled. “She’s... a forensic anthropology student. Smart. Independent.”
“Hmm.” The sound was noncommittal, but Jake could sense the wheels turning. “Well, I’ll expect to meet her at the wedding.”
The call ended abruptly, leaving Jake standing in the hallway, gripping his phone so tightly it felt like it might shatter.
Jake let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. 
And what does that say about you?
As if Sophia’s cheating was some kind of personal failure on his part.
Sophia was the picture perfect girlfriend his dad expected him to have. She was fairly pretty, clever, came from a family just as well-connected as theirs. Jake had never really felt butterflies. Not with Sophia. Not with anyone afterwards. 
Their whole relationship was build on public image, on convenience, on the unspoken understanding that they would look good together.
Sophia was in a similar position as Jake. If his dad would have known about half the stuff she did he would have never been this delighted when he told him he was dating her. She was partying more than she was studying, being bad influence for all of her friends. And her father had enough and told her that there would be some serious consequences for her if she didn’t step down. And her dad approved of him. So she approached him first.
She was all of his firsts, though. His first kiss, his first time, his first real relationship. 
But connection? Love? He never had that with Sophia. He tried to. Tried to tell himself he loved her, thought he loved her. But thinking back at it he probably never did. That didn’t mean her cheating didn’t hurt less. He and Sophia still had their moments and she was one of his most trusted persons, she knew almost everything about him and he knew a lot of things about her.  
Jake still remembered the day he found out about Sophia cheating on him. He wasn’t the one who uncovered the truth. You were.
He remembered being confused when you stood in his hallway looking lost, your face tear streaked. How you barely breathed his name before saying, Jake, I need to tell you something.
You told him how Sophia came clean to you, how she told you that she had slept with your boyfriend, how she was in love with him and how she didnt want this to ruin your friendship. 
He hadn’t believed you at first. He didn’t want to. But he also knew you wouldn’t lie about something like that. He didn’t really know you all too well, but he knew you well enough to know that you probably really loved Marcus, no matter what kind of douchebag he was and that it really hurt you. Scratch that. You were devastated. He was a year above you but your paths did cross quite frequently in school. You didn’t attend school for almost two weeks and when you came back you looked so sad. His heart ached every time he saw you. 
A day after you told him what happened he confronted Sophia.
She hadn’t even really tried to deny it. Instead, she had just sighed, almost exasperated, and told him that they both knew they were never real in the first place. That for her at least this was all show, that they looked good together, that their families approved. That she was sorry if he really felt like he was in love with her.
Jake had ended things immediately. He was more heart broken over the whole thing than he though he would be and when he turned to his parents he didn’t really get the reassurance he had hoped for. His father, of course, had been disappointed–not because Jake had been cheated on, but because he had lost Sophia. His mom however did her best to help him get over Sophia and suddenly they were eating galbitang three times a week. 
And now, Sophia was getting married to someone “respectable,” while Jake was still the disappointment.
He let out a bitter chuckle, running a hand through his hair. He shouldn’t have answered his father’s call. 
Now, on top of everything else, he had to figure out how to convince you to go to this damn wedding and pretend to be his girlfriend.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Everything. Everything went wrong.
First, he realized that the number you used in Australia was obviously not the one you were using in Korea now. Then, he realized that he didn’t follow you on Instagram anymore. After an embarrassingly long debate with himself, he finally sent a follow request, which you accepted a few hours later. Great. Progress.
Except now he had to actually message you.
“Hi Y/N. I kinda lied to my dad and now he thinks you’re my girlfriend. You kinda have to attend my ex’s wedding with me. I’m so sorry. But it would embarrass me, and my dad would murder me if you said no. Please go with me. Thank you. Bye :)”
No. Absolutely not. He deleted it before he could even consider pressing send. Another draft followed. Then another. Then another. Each one somehow worse than the last.
In the end, he gave up dming you entirely. This was a conversation he had to have face to face. 
Maybe he could catch you on campus? Except he didn’t know your timetable, your lab, or even which building your classes were in. The more he thought about it, the worse it got. 
So now here he was, sitting on the stairs in front of one of the medical buildings, praying to whoever might be listening that you’d pass by. He thought your classes were in this area—wasn’t your major technically part of the medical school? Oh, God. What was he doing? And for what? To impress his father? His father, of all people?
Jake exhaled sharply, dragging his hands down his face. He was such an idiot.
Then, as if the universe decided to throw him a bone, he spotted you.
You were walking briskly across the courtyard, a bag slung over your shoulder, earbuds in. Jake shot to his feet. “Y/N!”
You didn’t hear him. He cursed under his breath, jogging a few steps before calling out again, louder this time. “Y/N! Do you have five minutes?”
You looked up, squinting slightly, and then frowned when you recognized him. “Jake? What are you doing here?” He jogged a few steps to meet you before you could brush past him. “Hey, do you have five minutes?”
You checked your watch and shot him a skeptical look. “Not really. I’m heading to class. What’s up?”
He opened his mouth, but instead of starting with the careful, logical explanation he’d rehearsed in his head, it all came out in a breathless, panicked rush.
“So,Ikindofliedtomydadyesterdayandnowhethinksyou’remygirlfriend.” He took a breath,
“and it’s this whole thing because he’s forcing me to go to Sophia and Marcus’s wedding, and I panicked, and I said I wasn’t going alone, and then he kept asking questions, and I said your name, and now—” He took another breath and continued, slower this time. 
“And now he thinks we’re dating, and I really need you to come to this wedding with me because if I show up alone, he’s going to make my life hell. And also, I might die. Not literally, but close.”
You blinked.
Then, slowly, you pushed your phone into your bag and crossed your arms. You narrowed your eyes. “What the fuck, Jake?”
Jake winced, realizing how ridiculous it all sounded. “Uh, yeah. So I lied to my dad. About us. And now he thinks we’re dating.”
You lowered your bag, letting it dangle in one hand, and crossed your arms. “Jake. Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.” He looked at you, wide-eyed and sheepish. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I had no one else to turn to. You’re the only person who gets how screwed up this wedding thing is. And technically you are already invited. So it wouldn’t be weird if we got there together? Except that you would have to kinda pretend to love me and shit.”
You exhaled sharply, shaking your head in disbelief. “Oh my god. Okay. Fine. Forget class—now I have five minutes. What the actual fuck, Jake?”
“I panicked!” he said defensively. “He was going off about how embarrassing it would be if I showed up alone, and how I’m not married, and how I don’t have a girlfriend, and how my life’s a failure compared to my brother’s—so I panicked, and I said I was bringing you.”
You blinked at him, your arms crossing tightly over your chest. “So you told him I am your girlfriend. And you’re bringing me?”
“Yes.” He winced, looking at the ground. “I know it’s insane, but hear me out.”
“There’s no way I’m going to that wedding, Jake,” you said flatly. “Absolutely not.”
“Look, I get it. I don’t want to go either. But think about it.” He gestured between the two of you. “We’ll both have someone to lean on at the wedding, no awkward moments alone, and it’ll keep my dad off my back. It’s a win-win.”
You raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “Win-win? What do I get out of this?”
“Anything you want,” Jake said quickly, his desperation shining through. “I’ll owe you, big time. Name it, and I’ll do it.”
You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Jake. This is ridiculous. You’re literally asking me to be your girlfriend for a weekend to impress your father.”
“I know,” he said, his tone softer now. “But I swear, it won’t be as bad as you think. We’ll go, we’ll stick together, and then we’re out. You can even make fun of Marcus and Sophia the whole time.”
You sighed, clearly conflicted. “Jake… I really don’t want to go to that wedding.”
“Please,” he said, clasping his hands together like he was praying. “Just think about it. That’s all I’m asking.”
Please Y/N. Please, please, please, please. 
You looked at him for a long moment, then sighed again. “Fine. I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising anything.”
“Fair,” Jake said, relief washing over him. “That’s all I ask.”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for class.”
“Right, sorry.” He stepped aside, smiling sheepishly. “Thanks, Y/N. Seriously.”
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You stared at the wedding invitation sitting on your desk. The idea of going to that wedding was so ridiculous. You weren’t about to subject yourself to that humiliation.
But as much as you hated the idea of being anywhere near Marcus and Sophia, there was a part of you that missed your old friend group. All of you went different paths, to different unis and countries and you were sure that they were all invited and would attend the wedding. 
Jake’s desperate proposal kept replaying in your head. The idea of showing up together wasn’t the worst. If anything, it’d probably make things easier. At least you had someone in your corner that wasn’t your dad or your mom. Jake was fun, charming and good looking and spending the evening together might even be fun. And you knew that Marcus resented Jake, deeply. He would probably not like seeing the two of you together. 
That thought alone gave you a sick kind of satisfaction.
You were sitting at a table near the ice rink, your biology notes spread out in front of you. It wasn’t the most ideal study spot, but you knew that Jake had to walk by here after practice, and you didn’t feel like chasing him down across campus. You could have sent him a message, but talking to your future fake-boyfriend about your future fake-relationship seemed more appropriate then texting back and forth.
You pretended to focus on your notes, but your mind kept drifting back to Jake. Objectively, he was attractive—annoyingly so, in fact. And while you weren’t particularly close, you’d only ever heard good things about him from mutual friends and well… Sophia.
Honestly? If you had to fake-date someone, he wasn’t the worst candidate.
You were just beginning to lose feeling in your toes when you spotted him. He was walking down the path, hockey gear slung over his shoulder, his hair still damp from the shower.
“Jake!” You stood up and waved, catching his attention.
He blinked at you, surprised, but adjusted course and made his way over. “Y/N. Hi.”
“Let’s do it.”
Jake frowned. “What?”
“Let’s go to that godforsaken wedding together.”
His brows shot up. He dropped his bag on the ground and sat down beside you, still looking skeptical. “You’re kidding. You really want to do this?”
“Want?” You scoffed. “No. But it seems like you don’t have much of a choice, and I sure as hell don’t want to give those two the satisfaction of thinking I care.”
Jake leaned back and exhaled, running a hand through his damp hair. “Thank you Y/N. You are saving me from being ridiculed by the asshole I call father.”
You laughed and shook your head. “No worries. I’ll probably regret it, but whatever.”
“I think i have to warn you about my dad though.”, Jake turned to you. 
You raised a brow. “What do you mean?”
“He probably thinks I lied, which I kinda did. He won’t believe us if we don’t seem disgustingly in love.” 
“Oh, shit,” you muttered. 
Jake nodded, tilting his head toward you. “Yeah.”
“How exactly do you want to do this then Sim? I am not really a good actor. I can hold your hand but being all lovey dovey? I doubt it.”, you sighed, rubbing your temples.
You were itching to light a cigarette. You couldn’t believe this is actually happening. This is insane. Absolutely insane. Your hand instinctively moves toward your pocket, fingers brushing against the crumpled pack of cigarettes. Just one. To calm your nerves. 
“I don’t really know. I haven’t actually thought that far to be honest.”, his shoulder sacked down.
“Well I have watched and read enough about fake dating that I know that we should at least, you know, get to know each other a bit. Like I know you are a nerd and you play hockey? Which is probably not enough to seem convincing.”, you shrugged.
You glance at Jake out of the corner of your eye, trying to gauge his reaction. Does he even realize how ridiculous this is?
“I am not a nerd.”, Jake protested. 
“Do you still collect Lego?”, you deadpanned.
“I-Yes-But- Yeah I do but it doesn’t make me a nerd.”, he sputtered and shook his head, a few water drops from his hair hit your face.
“Mhm. Sure. Whatever you think Jakeyboy.”, you hummed and grinned at him. 
He huffed and leaned back, crossing his arms in front of his body. “So what do you wanna do?”
“To get to know each other?”, you asked, playing with the end of your scarf. “ I guess we should spend time together. And we should definitely work out some kind of like I don't know, timeline for when and how we met an shit.” 
“Well,” Jake started, drumming his fingers against the table, “okay. We met on campus, obviously. We got closer through mutual friends.”
You exhaled through your nose, thinking. “Who’s supposed to be our mutual friend?”
He thought for a second before saying, “Jay. He’s probably the only one who’d actually go along with this bullshit if anyone asks. And I mean Sophia? We did hang out back in highschool.” 
You nodded. “True. And as for how long we’ve been dating?”
Jake shrugged. “What’s a believable timeline?”
“Three months?”
“The wedding is in three months.”
“Right.” You frowned. “Five months, then.”
“Five months is good.”, he ran a hand over his face, exhaling. “My dad is going to ask a lot more questions than that tho. He’s also going to be watching us like a hawk. What is stuff you are okay with doing and what not?”
You took a moment to think about it. You haven’t really had the time to think about dating since you broke up with Marcus. Graduating and your classes didn’t really grant you much free time so you pushed the thought of dating aside. Marcus was your first in everything and you haven’t really had the desire to kiss anyone after him but kissing Jake didn’t seem like the worst thing to do. Sophia always gushed over him being a very good kisser and well frankly being very good in bed. You probably knew more about Jake's sex life than he would like you to know.
“I don’t really care honestly. I don’t really feel like making out with you in front of your dad to convince him. If the situation requires it, a normal kiss is fine. Only if you are clean though.”, you shrugged. 
He tilted his head. “Requires it?”
You shrugged again. “What if someone calls bullshit?”
He hummed and nodded. 
“Could you do me a favour?”, he asked after a beat of silence. 
You raised your eyebrows. “A bigger one than this already is?”
He scratched the back of his head. “Could you, you know, like not tell your friends that we are doing this? It’s already embarrassing enough that I can’t really pull someone and have to bring a fake date, I really don’t want to give my friends ammunition to make fun of me.”
You wrinkled your nose. “So you want me to lie to my friends?”
He exhaled through his nose. “No. Yes? Kinda? I mean, I guess, we are going to meet up quite frequently now to get to know each other? All platonic of course. So like you could just tell them, that we started talking after we got the invites, which is not wrong and we are now just befriending each other, which also is not going to be a lie. Just don’t tell them about the fake dating to the wedding.” 
You signed, leaning against the backrest of the bench. Chaewon and Yujin would never shut up about you fake dating Jake Sim and would most definitely make fun of him. And probably you. You were in the same situation after all. Single and invited to your cheating exes wedding. You were done and over with Marcus. Yes he broke your heart and you were devastated but in hindsight he was such a horrible partner that all the pain in your heart turned into anger and resentment. Same went for Sophia, all the bad decisions you made in highschool were an accumulation of them being just horrible friends.
After a pause, you nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”, Jake asked, turning towards you, his face hopeful.
“Okay. I won’t tell them.”, you signed, “What kind of platonic frequent meetings did you have in mind? Not gonna lie, my classes take up a big chunk of my free time. I feel like I am more in the lab and the library or a random classroom than my own home.”
“I could come study with you! I definitely should also get back on track.”, he beamed at you.
You nodded and hummed, already dreading the time you will lose while you were talking to Jake, but whatever.
He leaned in closer, resting his elbow on the table as he watched you with an exaggerated doe-eyed look. “We should probably get more comfortable with touching. Hand-holding, hugging… you know, typical couple stuff in front of the others. I tend to be quite clingy when i like someone.”, he said, his voice dropping playfully.
Without missing a beat you shoved his face away.
Jake laughed, leaning back. “I’m just saying, if you ever want to hold my hand, Y/N, you just have to ask.”
You deadpanned. “Right. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Jake smirked, clearly pleased with himself. “So, deal?”
You sighed, but there was a flicker of amusement in your eyes. “Deal.”
The two of you sat in silence for a second, thinking about what you were about to do. God you really needed a smoke now.
Jake drummed his fingers against the table, glancing at you. “So… you got any plans for the rest of the evening?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Well,” he shrugged, “figured, we might as well get a head start.”
You considered it for a second. “What are you suggesting?”
“Fried chicken?” he offered, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
You huffed a quiet laugh. “An incredibly romantic first date.”
“Right? Thought I’d go all out,” Jake deadpanned, waiting for you to gather your things.
You shook your head but shoved your notes into your bag anyway. “Fine. You’re paying.”
“Of course. I am a gentleman Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes, falling into step beside him.
The place Jake picked was small, tucked between a laundromat and a convenience store, but it smelled amazing. Jake led the way to a booth near the window, sliding in across from you as he grabbed a menu.
“You’ve been here before?” you asked, scanning the options.
“Yeah,” Jake nodded. “We come here after games sometimes.”
You hummed, then glanced up at him. “So. Where do we start?”
Jake smirked, setting the menu down. “The basics, I guess. Favorite color?”
You gave him a blank stare. “Seriously?”
“What? Gotta start somewhere.”
You sighed. “Fine. Yellow.”
Jake nodded. “Nice. Mine’s blue.”
You leaned forward, resting your elbows on the table. “Alright, Jakey. What else do I need to know about you?”
He thought for a second before saying, “I have an older brother. He’s working for my dads company in the States right now and he has been engaged since christmas. My parents. Well, you already know my dad is an absolute hard-ass. My mom’s a lot more chill, she honestly is great. Oh and we have a dog. Her name is Layla.”
You knew his dad was an asshole. Sophia told you as much back in highschool. From your experience you concluded that rich old business men were rarely nice persons. “Do they expect you to go pro?”
Jake hesitated, then shrugged. “No. I mean yeah? Kinda? My mom is very supportive and my dad thinks hockey is just a hobby and that I should focus on my studies.”
You cocked your head to the side. “Is he the reason why you didn’t go into physics? Back when we were in Highschool you loved it. I always wondered why you are in econ now.”
Jake hesitated, his grin fading. “Yeah. He’s… big on appearances. He wants me to follow in his footsteps, and go into the family business. Physics didn’t fit the mold, so here I am.”
“That’s… awful,” you said softly. You couldn’t imagine your parents holding you back from your passion. Your mom and dad were honestly gifts from the gods and you had a great childhood. You were still very close to both of them. 
Jake shrugged again, but you could see the tension in his shoulders. “It’s whatever. What about you? Why forensic anthropology?”
You smiled, relaxing a little. “My parents are both doctors - surgeon dad, ER mom. Growing up, I thought medicine was the coolest thing ever, but I also didn’t want to deal with people.”
Jake chuckled. “That tracks.”
“Then I got obsessed with bones,” you continued, your smile widening. “The show, not like actual Bones and eventually, I realized I could study the same thing the main character studied, and here we are.”
Jake tilted his head, looking genuinely impressed. “That’s actually pretty cool.”
“It is,” you said, a hint of pride in your voice. “But it’s a lot of work. Lab hours, endless classes, late nights. I spend more time with composing bodies than living ones.”
Jake made a face. “Great. Can’t wait for that to come up in conversation at the wedding.”
“Oh, it will,” you grinned. “I’ll make sure of it.”
You leaned back in your seat, stretching your legs out under the table. “Alright. So tell me stuff about hockey. I am sure that will come up since you do love it.”
Jake perked up slightly, his fingers still idly picking at his fries. “Do you know anything about hockey already?”
“I know you hit a puck with a stick and sometimes punch people,” you said, tilting your head. “That about sums it up, right?”
Jake groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “That’s like saying surgery is just cutting people open.”
You smirked. “Well, am I wrong?”
Jake shook his head but laughed. “Okay, fine. What do you want to know?”
You shrugged, sipping your drink. “I don’t know. Why do you like it?”
That seemed to catch him off guard. He blinked, then looked down at his hands for a second, like he was trying to put words to a feeling. “It’s… freeing, I guess. When you’re on the ice, everything else disappears. It’s just you, the puck, the team. You don’t have time to think about anything else.”
You nodded, watching the way his face softened as he spoke. “That sounds nice.”
Jake glanced up at you, a little surprised. “Yeah. It is.”
For a moment, neither of you said anything. The diner around you buzzed with quiet conversation, the occasional clang from the kitchen. It was surprisingly comfortable.
Then you nudged his foot under the table. “So, are you good?”
Jake scoffed. “Am I good?”
“Well, yeah,” you grinned. “Like do you sit on the bench? Is that a thing? Do you play a lot? I wouldn’t know.”
Jake leaned back, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. “Wow. That hurts.”
You laughed. “I’m just saying.”
“I’ll have you know,” Jake said, pointing a fry at you, “I’m actually really good. Top scorer on the team, even.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Impressive.”
Jake smirked, looking smug. “Damn right.”
You took another sip of your drink, tilting your head slightly as you looked at him. “You know, it’s weird actually talking to you like this.”
Jake raised an eyebrow, reaching for another fry. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” you gestured vaguely, “back in high school, we were always around each other, but we never really talked. You were just Sophia’s boyfriend. And I was Sophia’s best friend. It’s like we existed in the same space but never actually interacted unless she forced us to.”
Jake let out a short laugh, nodding. “Yeah. You know, she used to make me come to movie nights with you? Even though I had zero reason to be there?”
“Oh, I remember,” you smirked. “You’d sit there pretending to pay attention, and then the second Sophia looked away, you’d be on your phone playing clash of clans.”
Jake grinned. “Hey, in my defense, your romcoms weren’t exactly exciting and I had a lot of energy as a teenager. You also always complained that you should be studying instead of watching movies.”
You shook your head with a laugh. “I mean not all of us had that sports scholarship as a back up plan. Some people had to actually study and be good in classes.”
Jake snorted. “Yeah, joke’s on me. Turns out, my dad never wanted that future for me anyway.”
That made you pause. You studied him for a moment, catching the way his expression flickered before he masked it with a casual shrug. “Yeah,” you said after a beat. “I always thought I would study together with Marcus, him being able to tutor me and shit. Then he cheated and then I went into Anthro instead of business. I guess neither of us ended up exactly where we thought we’d be.”
Jake looked at you then, something unreadable in his gaze. “Yeah. Guess not.”
The moment passed quickly, and he grabbed a fry from your plate, tossing it in his mouth. “But, hey, at least now I get to go on a fake date with my ex’s best friend. That’s a plot twist I never saw coming.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “Yeah, well. Life’s funny like that.”
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You’ve been in the library for two hours, slumped over your case notes, fingers rubbing at your eyes as you try to focus. Nothing makes sense. The forensic pathology case you're working on has a bunch of conflicting details, and no matter how much you dig through the information your teammates collected, you're not getting anywhere. The injuries don’t align with the victim’s position, and the more you try to piece it together, the more frustrating it becomes. You let out a long sigh, your frustration practically radiating from you as you sit back in your chair, staring blankly at the wall in front of you, when the door to your study room clicked open and Jake poked his head into the room. 
“Here you are!”, he entered the room. 
“Hi Jake.”, you signed and turned your head towards him. 
“Still at it?” he asked, setting his bag down and taking a seat at the table across from you. He had asked you the day before if you were free for a platonic getting-to-know-each-other-to-seem-convincing-date, and you had to tell him no since you had to study. You were making little to no progress with a body you and a group of four others were tasked with, so you were stuck in the lab or the library until the deadline on Friday.
“Yeah,” you answered, rubbing your eyes again. “This case is just... I don’t even know anymore. None of the injuries make sense. I keep going over the information, and it’s like nothing fits.”
Jake gave a small nod, pulling out a laptop and carefully putting your notes to the side. “Sounds rough. Did you find anything new on the body today?”
You gave him a dry look. “Do I look like we found anything new, Jakey?”
He chuckled at your misery and fell into his studying routine, the occasional click of his pen filling the silence as you went back to your case notes. You both tried to focus, but the silence only helped you spiral further into frustration. The puzzle pieces just wouldn’t connect, and you felt like you were running in circles.
Finally, you slammed the file down in front of you with a groan. “Ugh! I can’t do this anymore!” you muttered. “I’ve been staring at these same injuries for an hour, and they just—nothing makes sense! I can’t figure out how the stab wound angles align with the body position.”
Jake glanced over, then leaned back in his chair, making a thoughtful face. “The victim’s injuries don’t match up with how you think the crime happened?”
“Yeah!” you said, looking at him desperately. “Like, there’s a stab wound here, but the victim was lying in a completely different position than the one that would’ve caused it. And the other injuries don’t line up either.”
Jake didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared at the case file as though he were mulling it over. “Have you tried acting it out?”
You shot him an confused look. “You want me to act out a murder?”
“Why not?” Jake grinned. “It’s not like anyone else is here to witness it, and it could help you get out of your head.”
For a second, you were too tired to even protest, and the absurdity of it actually made you laugh. You shook your head. “Okay, fine. Let’s pretend we’re the victim and the killer, then.”
Jake immediately stood up, fully committing to the role. “I’m the victim. I’ll be... right here,” he said, dramatically flopping down on one of the chairs. 
You couldn’t help but chuckle at how seriously he was taking this. “Okay, I’m the killer. What am I supposed to do here?”
“Try stabbing me,” Jake said, rolling his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m waiting to be murdered.”
You hesitated, then walked over to where he was lying. “Alright, so I stab you here?” you said, positioning your pen as if it were a knife, looking back at your notes. Jake was actually not lying in the right position, so you adjusted the way he was slouching on the chair slightly.
“And now,” Jake flopped his head back dramatically, “try getting your position right. That’s important as well, right?”
You paused. “Wait a minute,” You turned back to your notes. “What if the position doesn’t even matter? What if the injuries happened at different times? What if the killer was trying to cover up the first stab wound by causing more damage? Oh my god that would explain why this– oh my god i can’t believe i am this stupid. I even put it down as perimortal.”
Jake stopped in his act, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow. “Huh. So the victim didn’t just get stabbed once?”
You shook your head. “No, he has like 15 or 16 wounds, all made by the same knife… but maybe at different points in time. The first wound has to have happened somewhere else. The injuries don’t add up because they weren’t caused all at once. Those were made to cover up the initial cause of death, because the big knife is probably traceable.”
Jake leaned back in his chair, nodding slowly. “Okay?”
It was like the entire case had just clicked into place, and it was all because you had let yourself stop overthinking it for a second. How could you have not thought about that? This was so obvious. Maybe studying with Jake wasn’t as much as a waste of time as you thought.
“Okay, wait,” you said, settling back in your seat, scrolling through your notes until you found the pictures of the stab wounds you had taken earlier that day and turned them toward Jake.
“Look here,” you pointed at a particular dent in the bones. “This is the cause of death. And the rest of the cuts in the ribcage bones are from a different angle and way weaker, most likely made with a different knife. So the body was probably moved, and the killer or maybe another person did the rest of the damage.”
Jake nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Damn, look at me. Maybe I should also go into forensics. I think we make a pretty good team. We could clear cases together.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, Jakey. If you wanna look at some more gruesome bodies and have the smell of death linger around you, let’s go.”
He scrunched his nose. “On second thought, I think I would rather stay with Econ.”
You shook your head and giggled.
After finally giving your brain a break, you and Jake packed up your things and left the library. You stepped outside, stretching your arms above your head and your back made a satisfying cracking noise. Without thinking too much about it, you reached into your pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it.
Jake, who had been rummaging through his bag for something, glanced up. His movements stilled when he saw the cigarette between your fingers.
He blinked once. Then twice.
“What,” he said flatly, like his brain was still buffering, “the hell are you doing?”
You exhaled, letting the smoke curl into the air. “Smoking?”
Jake just stared at you, completely thrown. “You—” He cut himself off, eyes narrowing as he stepped closer. “Since when do you smoke?”
You shrugged. “For a while now.”
He scoffed in disbelief. “You study forensic pathology. You literally just spent hours complaining about injuries and cause of death, and you still–”
Before you could react, he reached out and plucked the cigarette right from your fingers.
“Seriously, Y/N. This is bad for you.”
You blinked at him, caught between annoyance and amusement. “Jake, give it back.”
“Nope.”
“Jake.”
“I’m not letting you poison yourself,” he said, holding the cigarette out of reach like you were a child he was scolding.
“Yah!” You frowned, moving to take it back, but Jake just held it out of reach, his expression now shifting to full-on disapproval.
“You, of all people, should know what these do to the body,” he scolded. “How are you in forensics and still put this shit in your lungs?”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s not like I chain-smoke every day.”
Jake scoffed again, clearly unimpressed. “Oh, great. I’ll tell your lungs that so they feel better.” And with that, he crushed the cigarette between his underneath his shoe before tossing it into a nearby trash bin.
You stared at him, half annoyed, half amused. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he echoed, still giving you that disappointed look. “You study dead bodies all day. What part of that made you think, ‘Hm, yeah, let me shorten my own lifespan’?”
You sighed, stuffing your hands into your pockets. “Didn’t know you cared so much, Jakey.”
He ran a hand through his hair, still looking exasperated. “I just think it’s stupid.”
You huffed but didn’t argue. You knew he was right. Smoking was a bad habit you picked up thanks to Marcus and you weren’t able to shake it off until now.
After a moment, Jake let out a breath, as if shaking off his irritation, and nudged your shoulder lightly. “Come on. Let’s get something to eat. I am starving.”
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“You know, we should make this a regular thing.”, you said looking at Jake while taking a sip of your iced tea and scrunching your nose. 
“What do you mean?”, Jake watched as you opened a packet of sugar, dumping the entire thing in your ice tea.
“Going to cafes.”, you shrug, “There are so many cute cafes here and I have a list of them to try out but i never got around to try them all. Maybe we could make this our thing? Going to a new cafe every week?” 
Its been a little bit more than three weeks since you and Jake first started to spend time with each other and he had to say it was surprisingly nice to hang out with you. His schedule was packed with practice and games while you were studying a lot. He sometimes thought that you spend a bit too much time in the library or the lab but he also knew that it was your main place to socialize with your squint friends. So he was happy to get you out of there on occasion.
Jake didn’t even think about it when he slid his latte across the table and took your lemon iced tea in return. During the last few times you’ve been out to grab food or drinks he noticed that you like to be a bit experimental with your orders. Asking the waiters for their favourites or Jake if he thought a particular drink would taste well. He took one sip and immediately winced at how absurdly sour your drink of today was.
You blinked at him, looking between the drinks. “Did you just–”
“You clearly hate that,” he said, nodding toward the lemon tea. “And you put so much sugar in your drinks, you might as well have ordered something else entirely.”
Your lips parted in surprise before you huffed out a small laugh. “Well, damn. Chivalry isn’t dead after all.”
Jake just smirked, taking another sip of your tea suffering from the sourness while you happily drank his latte.
“I think that's a great idea.”, he then answered your question from before. “The weekly cafe thing. I mean it would definitely help with the whole building up a real connection and getting to know each other better.” He honestly was looking forward to meeting you every time you scheduled one of your getting-to-know-each-other-to-seem-convincing-dates. There have been 4 so far, but you had been texting quite frequently in between. Him asking how your classes were and you asking how training or his games went. He was pretty pleased with himself when you told him that you got an A thanks to his participation as a dummy victim in the library and you brought him a piece of cake as thank you when you met a few days later. 
You hummed in agreement, stirring your (his) iced latte. For a while, you both sat in comfortable silence, the occasional sound of a spoon clinking against a glass filling the space between words. 
You broke the silence and leaned forward slightly. “Do you like it here?”
Jake glanced up at you. “Korea?”
You nodded.
“Yeah,” he said, swirling his straw around his glass, trying to mix the sugar into the ice tea in hopes that it toned down the sourness. “I mean, I miss Australia sometimes, but I like it here. The city, the people.”
You hummed. “Same. I miss home sometimes, but I like being in Seoul. It’s nice having a fresh start, you know?”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. Plus, I love living with my roommates. Heeseung is a menace, and Jay’s the closest thing we have to a responsible adult. Their girlfriends—or well, Heeseung’s girlfriend and Jay’s almost-girlfriend—are also fun to be around. I think you’d like them.”
You smiled. “They sound fun.”
“They are.”
“I am sure you would like Chaewon and Yujin as well.” you said, sipping your (his) drink. “We met in first year, and they kind of adopted me. Took pity on me looking lost on my first day. I was really young when I started university, thinking back at it now.”
Jake raised a brow. “How old?”
“Seventeen.”
 “Oh yeah?”, Jake tried to think of a seventeen year old you. 
He remembered always thinking you were pretty cute in your school uniform—always so put together, always so proper. While he and Sophia were constantly scolded for their messy ties and rolled-up skirts, you were the picture of perfection, your blazer buttoned just right, your hair neatly pinned back. Even now, years later, you still dressed like that. Thoughtful, elegant, always intentional. Now, as he stood there, watching you fidget with the hem of your coat, he couldn’t help but smile. You were still the same person you’d always been, meticulous, thoughtful, a little bit nerdy.
“Mhm.” Your gaze drifted toward a small pond near the café’s patio, where a few kids were jumping around in front of it.
“You still are young, Y/N,” he said, following your gaze. “Get to my age, and then let’s talk about that again.”
You snorted. “You are like a year older than me. Probably less. My birthday is coming up soon.”
“Oh? When?”
“In like five weeks?”, you took another sip of his latte.
Jake’s lips twitched. “Are you gonna throw a party?”
“Probably not. I’d much rather go to parties than have to clean up the mess.”
He chuckled. “Fair.” 
He would have eaten a broom if you would have said yes. You never really one for big parties, but still attend every time. Most of the time he found you and Sophia smoking outside with Marcus and his friends. That idiot had such a bad influence on you and he hated seeing it back then. Marcus was a year older than Jake and therefore almost two years older than you and he pretended to be a bad boy. Which was cringe on its own but he tried to convince you that being a bit more rebellious was cool. It annoyed him back then so much he made it his mission to talk to you and get you away from your boyfriend and his friends, when he got the chance. Mhm maybe he did spend a bit more time than he initially remembered with you. He never understood what you saw in Marcus. 
“Are you going to the spring break party next week? The girls and I are planning to go.”, you interrupted his thoughts.
“I don’t know yet. We’re playing a game that day and the day before. I’ll probably be dead tired,” he admitted, stealing a piece of your cake.
You tapped your finger against your glass, then glanced up at him. “You should come.”
Jake raised a brow. “You want me to crash girls’ night?”
You rolled your eyes. “No, idiot. It’s not really girls’ night if we attend a frat party, but I think it would be nice to see you there. I kinda wanna see how adult Jake parties. You were fun back in highschool, even though you scolded Sophia and me for being dumb shits every five minutes.”
Jake studied you for a second before a slow, amused grin pulled at his lips.
 “You want me to scold you again? I will if I catch you smoking.”
“I am fully aware of my deathly habit of inhaling nicotine and I am committing to the bit so hush. Also now I am a legal adult who can buy their own cigarettes.”
Just then a gust of wind brushed past, prompting you to tug your jacket tighter around yourself. As you adjusted, your bag tipped slightly, and your phone and  a pack of cigarettes clattered onto the table.
Jake’s gaze flickered down to them, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly while you put both back into your bag and put the bag onto the floor.
Jake exhaled, raised his hands in surrender. “Fair enough.” After that it was silent for a moment, just the sound of the children playing in the park and the birds chirping up in the trees .
“You know,” he said, his voice breaking the silence, “you still dress like you’re in school. All put together and stuff. It’s kind of adorable.”
You shot him a look, your cheeks flushing slightly, and he grinned. Oh. He liked that. “What do you mean with that, Sim?”
“Well you were always so put together and propper and look at you now. Always so put together and propper, even when you wear your lab goggles.”, he chuckled. Last week he barged into your lab (after asking the professor for permission) and dragged you out for burgers. He’d taken approximately a million 0.5 pictures of you that day, wearing your lab coat and gigantic goggles. 
“You looked like a mad scientist,” he’d said, grinning. “Big glasses and all. It’s cute.”
“I’m not cute,” you’d protested, swatting at him, but he’d just laughed, dodging your hand.
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The spring break party was in full swing, the bass from the music vibrating through the floor as you leaned against the kitchen counter, drink in hand. Chaewon and Yujin had abandoned you shortly after you got there, leaving you to people-watch and sip your drink. You were just about to text Jake to see if he was coming when you heard a familiar laugh.
You turned your head toward the kitchen door, and there he was Jake. Even back in highschool you understood what all the girls drooling over him saw in him. He looked unfairly good. His eyes scanned the room, and when they landed on you, his face lit up with that stupid boyish grin of his.
“Y/N!” he called, his voice loud and a little too enthusiastic. He started making his way over, weaving through the crowd like a man on a mission.
You smirked, setting your drink down on the counter. “Hey, Jakeyboy. I heard you won.”
Jake didn’t answer. Instead, he pulled you into a hug so tight it lifted you off your feet. You laughed, your hands resting on his shoulders as he spun you around once before setting you back down. The hugs were something new you were doing. But you had absolutely nothing against it.
“We crushed them,” he said, his voice brimming with pride. “Absolutely destroyed them.”
“I am glad! You were so worried! Is Jay feeling better?”, you asked softly, fixing the collar of his shirt when he set you down. 
“Yeah. When we came in he disappeared and went to search for his girlfriend.”, he rolled his eyes but smiled. You hummed and took a sip from your drink, he stole your cup and took a sip scrunching up his nose in disgust. “Y/N you have a horrible taste in drinks.” 
“That's not true. This is a sex on the beach? How can that be bad Jake?”, you spluttered stealing your cup back. 
Jake laughed, shaking his head. “It’s way too weak. You definitely need something stronger!” He turned to the counter behind him, rummaging through the bottles until he pulled out a half-empty bottle of tequila. “Here.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Tequila? Really?”
“Trust me,” he said, grinning as he poured two shots. He handed one to you and held up the other. “Cheers, Y/Nie!”
You laughed, clinking your shot glass against his. “Cheers, Jakey.”
You both downed the shots, and you winced as the tequila burned its way down your throat. Jake laughed, his hand brushing against your arm. “See? Way better than that sugary crap you were drinking.”
“Debatable,” you said, sticking your tongue out at him. But you were smiling, and so was he.
The music shifted, and the opening notes of Umbrella filled the room. Jake’s eyes lit up, and he grabbed your hand. “Come on. Let’s dance.”
“What? No—” you started to protest, but he was already pulling you toward the makeshift dance floor.
“You’re not gonna make me dance alone, are you?” he said, turning to you with an exaggerated pout.
You rolled your eyes but let him drag you into the crowd. Jake was already moving and you laughed, shaking your head as you started to dance with him.
“You’re such a dork,” you said, but you were smiling. When did Jake become this…cute? Back in highschool he always watched over you like a guard dog when you met at parties. Admittedly you were underage and easily convinced to do dumb shit, but he seemed a bit tense back then, almost worried. And he for sure never made you dance. But this was nice. Seeing him laugh this freely, genuinely enjoying his time. He apparently needed a fresh start even more than you did, but it was nice to see that he got what he needed.
“Yeah, but you’re dancing with me, so what does that say about you?” he shot back, his grin widening.
You didn’t argue. Instead, just matched his energy and sang along to Umbrella. 
You spend quite some time dancing together, joined by your or his friends sometimes. Every time a Katy Perry song came on–which, for some reason, was way more often than usual–Jake would pull you back to the kitchen for another shot. He made not only you but also his friends and teammates and their girlfriends take shots in honor of Katy Perry, when they were around. By the sixth one, you were both laughing so hard you could barely stand.
“I think the universe is trying to tell us something,” Jake said, leaning against the counter as he poured another round.
“Yeah, that we’re gonna regret this tomorrow,” you said, taking the shot glass from him.
Jake laughed, his hand brushing against yours as he handed you the salt. “Worth it.”
You smirked, licking the back of your hand and sprinkling salt on it. “You’re such a bad influence.”
Compared to Marcus he definitely wasn’t. You did so many things to impress him that you weren’t proud of. Some of things turned into habits you couldn’t shake off, even 2 years later. 
“You’re welcome,” he said, his voice low and teasing.
You didn’t respond. Instead, you downed the shot, the tequila burning less this time. Jake watched you, his grin soft and a little dazed. “You’re really something, you know that?”
You raised an eyebrow, leaning in a little closer. “Yeah? What’s that supposed to mean?”
You weren’t sure if you were imagining things but it looked like Jake’s eyes flickered down to your lips and then back up to yours. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Your stomach flipped. You smiled, your fingers brushing intentionally against his as you set the shot glass down. “Me too.”
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Jake wasn’t sure how long he’d been outside. The night had blurred together in a haze of tequila shots, bad dancing, and more shots. He’d lost you at some point, or maybe you’ve lost him, and now he was sitting on the porch steps, staring up at the stars and wondering how penguins could survive in such cold weather. His ass was cold. He couldn't imagine living somewhere even colder and having to sit on the floor.
The door creaked open behind him, and Sunghoon stepped outside, a beer in hand. “There you are,” he said, plopping down next to Jake. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
Jake blinked, trying to focus on Sunghoons face. “Why?”
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. “Because you disappeared for, like, three hours. Who were you dancing with earlier?” 
Jake frowned, trying to remember. Dancing. Right. Y/N. “Oh. That was Y/N.”
Sunghoon’s eyes lit up. “Y/N? As in, the Y/N?”
Jake shrugged. “Yeah.” 
“Yeah?” Sunghoon repeated, grinning. “She’s here? At this party? And you didn’t think to mention it?”
Jake opened his mouth to respond, but then he froze. “Wait. Where is she?”
Sunghoon laughed, shaking his head. “You lost her?”
Jake ignored him, standing up a little too quickly and swaying on his feet. “I didn’t lose her. I just… misplaced her.”
Sunghoon snorted. “Sure.”
Jake had looked everywhere for you or at least he thought he had. He got stopped several times by other people and pulled to the kitchen for shots and his head was spinning just enough to make it hard to focus. Eventually, he gave up and stumbled outside again, hoping the cool air would clear his head.
The porch was quieter, the muffled bass from the party thumping faintly in the background. Jake blinked, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, and that’s when he saw you. You were leaning against the railing, a cigarette dangling from your fingers as you talked to some guy Jake didn’t recognize. Your cheeks were flushed, your hair was a mess. You’ve pulled it out of your neat ponytail and it was now in a rather messy bun. He’d always known you were pretty, obviously, but this was different. This was—he didn’t know what this was. Hot? Yeah, probably hot. But fuck he hated seeing the cigarette in your hand. His chest tightened, a sharp, uncomfortable feeling tugging at his gut.
Jake walked over, his steps a little unsteady, and plucked the cigarette from your hand without a word. He stubbed it out on the railing and tossed it into an ashtray, ignoring the way you pouted at him.
“That was my last one,” you said, your voice a little slurred.
Good.
“Good,” Jake said, crossing his arms. “Stop poisoning yourself. It’s not cool.”
You pouted harder, your bottom lip jutting out. “You’re such a buzzkill.”
And damn it this was unfair. Criminal, even. He almost felt like giving you another cigarette just so you’d stop making that face, because something about it made him feel ridiculously weak. 
The guy, who was leaning against the railing next to you, burst out laughing. He was obviously drunk–or high, or both–and his laughter was loud enough to make you glare at him. “Oh, this is rich,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. “Y/N just got her cig stolen.”
You kicked him in the shin, hard enough to make him yelp. “Shut up, Yangyang.”
“Ow! What the hell?” Yangyang said, rubbing his leg but still grinning. “You’re such a menace.”
“And you’re an idiot,” you shot back, giving him the finger.
Yangyang just laughed again, shaking his head. “Well, if you can’t smoke, I’m gonna smoke with Hendery.” He turned around, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Hendery! Where are you, man?” Jake was pretty sure that whatever Yangyang was smoking wasn’t a cigarette. 
You rolled your eyes, muttering something under your breath. Then, you turned back to him, your pout returning full force. Oh god, not again.
“That was my last cigarette, you know.”
Jake raised an eyebrow, trying to look stern but failing miserably. “And?”
“And now I’m sad,” you said, letting your forehead drop onto his shoulder with a dramatic sigh. “You’ve ruined my night.”
Jake laughed, his hand coming up to rest lightly on your back, while the other one gripped the railing tightly. The world was spinning just very lightly, but he didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to leave this spot. He liked having you this close, even if you’d just smoked and even if he hated the smell of it.
 “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”
You groaned, your voice muffled against his shoulder. “You don’t understand. That was my emotional support cigarette.”
Jake snorted, his fingers brushing against your hair. “You’ll live.” 
You were warm. So warm. He barely registered what he was doing, just that he didn’t want to move.
You lifted your head just enough to glare at him, but there was no real heat behind it. Your eyes were a little hazy. “You’re the worst.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Jake said, and this time, he laughed. He couldn’t help it. There was something about the way you pouted that was just… endearing? Or maybe that was the tequila talking. Either way, he was having a hard time keeping a straight face.
 Jake’s head was spinning just enough to make everything feel a little surreal, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he was imagining the way your eyes seemed a little too bright, your movements a little too slow. Were you high? Maybe. Probably. He didn’t care. Not really. Should he care? He felt like he should care if you were high. He always did back in highschool. He remembered how uncomfortable you looked when Marcus came up to you with his cigarettes or joints or drinks, but you never declined. That asshole.
Then, out of nowhere, he tilted his head back and said, “Have you ever thought about penguins?”
You blinked, turning to look at him. “What?”
“Penguins,” he repeated, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “We should think more about them.”
You stared at him for a second, your brow furrowing like you were trying to figure out if he was serious. Then, without warning, you burst out laughing, leaning into him as your shoulders shook. “Oh my god, Jake. You’re so drunk.”
Jake frowned, his brow furrowing as he tried to focus on you. “No, I’m not. I’m… perfectly fine. If I close one eye, I can see you in HD, so I’m not that drunk.”
That only made you laugh harder, your head resting against his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath. “That doesn’t even make sense!”
“It makes perfect sense,” he insisted, though he was grinning now. “You’re just… too high to understand.”
“I’m high?” you said, sitting up and wiping tears from your eyes. “You’re the one talking about penguins!”
Jake shrugged, his grin turning lopsided. “Penguins are cool. They’re, like the best birds.”
You snorted, leaning back on your hands. “Okay, Mr. Ornithologist. Tell me more about these superior birds.”
Jake opened his mouth to respond, but then he seemed to forget what he was going to say. Instead, he just laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know. I just really like penguins. Their asses don’t freeze even in snow.”
You giggled again, looking up at the night sky. “Yeah, well, maybe you should adopt one. You’d make a great penguin dad.”
Jake turned to look at you. “You think so?”
“Absolutely,” you said, nodding solemnly. “ You could teach him how to skate and buy him mini gear and shit”
Jake laughed, leaning back on his hands. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Takes one to know one,” you shot back, giggling and leaning into him again.
Jake wasn’t sure how long you’d been sitting on the porch steps, your head resting on his shoulder as you both stared up at the stars, talking about everything and nothing. Yangyang  came back at one point and now Jake knew you were high, when Yangyang enthusiastically offered you another puff, which you accepted just as enthusiastically. Jake was perfectly content to stay like this forever.
That is, until Heeseung showed up.
“Jesus, what happened here?” Heeseung’s voice cut through the quiet, and Jake looked up to see his roommate standing in the doorway, his girlfriend was peeking out from behind him. Both of them were grinning, though Heeseung looked more exasperated than amused.
“We’re fine,” Jake said, waving a hand dismissively. “Go away.”
“You’re not fine,” Heeseung said, stepping onto the porch. “You’re both drunk off your asses and sitting on the ground like a couple of lost puppies.”
“I’m not drunk,” you said, lifting your head from Jake’s shoulder to glare at Heeseung. “I think I’m high. Jake’s drunk, though. And he wants to adopt a penguin and call it Noot Noot.”
You broke out into giggles, leaning into Jake as if this were the funniest thing you’d ever said. Jake groaned, his cheeks turning pink. “I do not.”
“You do,” you insisted, still laughing. “You said penguins are the best birds and that Noot Noot would be the perfect name. And you want to teach him how to play hockey.”
Heeseungs girlfriend bursted out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh my god, that’s adorable.”
Heeseung rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Yeah, adorable. Come on, you two. Let’s get you home.”
Jake groaned, leaning back on his hands. “We’re fine. Leave us alone.”
“You’re not fine,” Heeseung said, bending down to grab Jake’s arm. “Up. Now.”
Jake tried to swat him away, but Heeseung was too strong, pulling him into a standing position. “Noooo.”, he lamented, “I don’t want to stand up. My legs hurt.”
As Heeseung hauled Jake to his feet, Jake turned to you, his expression suddenly serious. “Wait, Y/N has to come too,” he said, his words slurred but insistent. “She can’t go home alone. She’s... she’s gotta come with us.” You blinked up at him, your own head spinning as you tried to process his words. “I’m fine,” you said, though your voice was just as wobbly as his. “No, you’re not,” Jake said, his hand reaching out to grab yours. “You’re coming with me. Heeseung, tell her.”
Heeseung sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m not getting in the middle of this. Baby, help me out here.”
His griflriend stepped forward to help you up, her laughter fading into a soft smile. “Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”
You pouted but let her pull you to your feet, swaying slightly as you stood. “I’m not drunk,” you insisted, though the way you stumbled over your own feet said otherwise.
“Sure you’re not,” she said, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you. “Let’s go.”
Heeseung and his girlfriend managed to get both of you into a cab and back to the dorm. The ride was a blur of laughter and half-hearted protests, and by the time they got there, Jake was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep on your shoulder at least once.
“Alright,” Heeseung said, unlocking the door and ushering everyone inside. “Jake, you’re on the air mattress. Y/N, you get his bed.”
Jake groaned, collapsing onto his bed. “Why do I have to sleep on the floor?”
“Because you’re a gentleman,” Heeseung said, tossing a pillow at him. It hit Jake square in the face, and he let out an indignant huff. “And because I said so.”
You giggled, sitting down on the edge of Jake’s bed. “Thanks, Heeseung. You’re the best.”
Heeseung rolled his eyes but smiled. “Yeah, yeah.” 
His girlfriend handed you a glass of water and a couple of painkillers. “Here. Take these. You’ll thank me in the morning.”
You nodded, swallowing the pills with a grimace. “Thank you!”
“No problem,” she said, smiling. “Now, lets get you changed so that you can get some sleep. Both of you.”
She pulled you up again and ushered you into Jakes bathroom while Jake changed into his pyjama and flopped down onto the mattress, closing his eyes and almost falling asleep until you came back and threw yourself onto his bed. It creaked loudly and you giggled.
For a moment, neither of you said anything. Then, Jake turned his head to look at you. “You good?”
You nodded, your eyes already closing. “Yeah. You?”
“Yeah,” Jake said, his voice soft. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight, Jake,” you murmured, already halfway asleep.
Jake smiled, turning onto his side and closing his eyes. The room was quiet, the only sound was the soft hum of the air conditioner and the occasional rustle of sheets as you shifted on the bed. 
Or at least, until you suddenly sat up, your eyes wide. “I don’t wanna sleep. Let’s watch Noot Noot.”
Jake blinked slowly, propping himself up on his elbows. “What?”
“Noot Noot,” you repeated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You know, the penguin. The one you want to adopt.”
Jake groaned, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. “Y/N, it’s like 5 a.m.” How could you be so awake? You were drunk and high. 
“Exactly,” you said, climbing out of the bed and onto the air mattress next to him. The mattress squeaked under your combined weight, and Jake had to grab the edges to keep from rolling off. “It’s the perfect time for Noot Noot.”
Jake laughed, shaking his head. “You’re an idiot.”
“Takes one to know one,” you shot back, giggling as you pulled out your phone and started searching for a video.
Jake didn’t even try to argue. Instead, he just leaned back, and you curled against like it was the most normal thing in the as you found the video and hit play. The sound of the penguin’s high-pitched “noot noot” filled the room, and you both burst out laughing.
“See?” you said, your voice full of triumph. “This is amazing.”
Jake couldn’t help but agree, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the video or because you were lying next to him, wearing his clothes and laughing like that stupid penguin was the funniest thing you have ever seen. Either way, he wasn’t complaining. His eyes slowly drifted shut. 
You woke up to the sound of someone groaning softly and an arm slung loosely over your waist. Your head was pounding, your mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. Where the hell were you? You blinked blearily at the sunlight streaming through the curtains. You recognized Jakes room and concluded that Jake was the one who woke you up. 
Your face heated up. Why were you sleeping on Jake? 
Jake stirred beside you, his face scrunching up as he groaned again. “Y/N,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and urgent. “I gotta… I gotta go. Like, now.”
You barely had time to roll out of the way before he scrambled off the air mattress, nearly tripping over the blanket tangled around his legs. He stumbled toward the bathroom, and you heard the door slam shut, followed by the unmistakable sound of him throwing up.
“Oh, Jake,” you muttered, wincing in sympathy as you dragged yourself off the deflated mattress. You grabbed a bottle of water from the nightstand and shuffled to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door before pushing it open.
Jake was kneeling in front of the toilet, his forehead resting on his arm. He looked up at you, his face pale and his hair sticking up in every direction. “I’m dying,” he croaked.
“You’re not dying,” you said, crouching down beside him and handing him the water. “Here, rinse your mouth out.”
He took the bottle with a shaky hand, swishing some water around before spitting it into the toilet. You reached over and started rubbing his back, your fingers moving in slow, soothing circles. “You’re such a lightweight,” you teased, though your voice was gentle.
“Shut up,” he muttered, but there was no real bite to it. He leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a few slow breaths. “I am so tired. Why did we think watching Noot Noot at 3 a.m. was a good idea?”
You froze, your hand stilling on his back. “Wait. What?”
Jake cracked one eye open to look at you. “You don’t remember? You literally squeezed yourself onto that stupid air mattress and made me watch, like, ten Noot Noot videos. You said it was ‘essential viewing.’”
“Oh my god,” you said, covering your face with your hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, force you or make you uncomfortable or anything.”
Jake laughed weakly, shaking his head. “Relax, Y/N. If I was uncomfortable, I would’ve said something. I just didn’t expect to spend half the night watching a penguin meme.”
You peeked at him through your fingers, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Still. Sorry if I was annoying.”
“You’re always annoying,” he said, but the way he smiled took the sting out of his words. “Now, can we please go back to bed? I feel like death.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, standing up and holding out a hand to help him to his feet. “But I’m not sleeping on that deflated mattress again. I’ll pump some air into it while you finish up here.”
Jake nodded, leaning heavily on you as he stood. “Deal. Just shut up for five minutes, okay?”
You laughed, shaking your head as you left him in the bathroom and went to find the air pump. By the time Jake emerged, looking slightly less green but still miserable, you’d managed to get the mattress back to a somewhat functional state.
“There,” you said, flopping down onto it. “Now you can have your bed, and I’ll take this.”
Jake just nodded and collapsed onto his bed, pulling the blanket over himself with a groan. “You’re a saint,” he mumbled, his voice already muffled by the pillow.
“I know,” you said, grinning as you settled onto the air mattress. The room was quiet again, the only sound was the soft hum of the air conditioner and Jake’s steady breathing. You closed your eyes, letting the exhaustion pull you back under.
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“Y/N this is a stupid idea.”, Jake said, watching the recipe on his phone for what felt like the hundredth time.
“It’s actually a very good idea, Jakeyboy. We are two responsible adults who I am sure can make a lasagne and salad.”, you huffed while cutting up an onion. 
Jake raised an eyebrow, and moved next to you, grabbing some of the carrots. “Responsible adults who are cooking for their friends who are actually responsible adults as a thank you?”
“Exactly. I think cooking Hee and Jeonghee lasagne as a thank you for not letting us end in a ditch while we were high and or drunk is a responsible thing to do. Can you also peel the celery? Do we have to peel the celery?”, you stopped cutting the onion and frowned at Jake, holding up a stalk of celery.
Jake shrugged, searching through the drawer for a peeler. “Dude, I have no idea. Why does your recipe want you to put in celery?” He rummaged through the utensils, muttering to himself. “Jay has to have one somewhere here, right? Peelers could be categorized as knives?” If Jake was honest, he rarely cooked—at home or here in his dorm. Ramyeon was easy to make, as was fried rice or a fried egg, but lasagna? He was really unsure if or how he should match your confidence that the two of you could whip up something edible.
You frowned harder and grabbed Jakes phone from next to him. “I have no idea. Maybe i read something wrong? What's your pin?”
“100920.”, he started peeling the thickest carrot lying in the bunch, “Haha look at that. This is surely over average.”
You snorted and hit him lightly on the back. “Man. Jake. What the hell,” you scolded, scrolling through his TikTok chat. “Oh, wait, I think I kinda mixed up two different recipes? This one wants celery, and this one doesn’t. Should we still add it?”
“Yeah? Do you like celery?”, he peered over his shoulder to look at the video you were showing him now. 
“I mean, it’s ‘high-protein lasagna’ and not ‘lasagna straight from an Italian restaurant.’ I think we should stick to ‘straight from an Italian restaurant.’ Screw protein. Jay can get pumped when I’m not there,” you shrugged, sliding Jake’s phone into his back pocket.
“Just for your information, I’m also getting pumped. I need the protein too,” he muttered, his tone mock-offended, as he leaned against the counter next to you.
You grinned, nudging his shoulder. “Oh, man. You’ve got a long way to go, Jakeyboy. Jay looks delicious, and you still look like the 16-year-old Lego-building loser you were in high school. Muscle-wise, at least.”
“Hey!” Jake protested, bumping his hip into yours playfully. But then, in a move that surprised even himself, he stepped closer, towering over you slightly as he leaned against the counter, effectively caging you in. He flexed, his biceps straining against the sleeve of his shirt, and shot you a smug look. “Still a loser, huh?”
Your eyes flicked down to his arm, then back up to meet his gaze. You reached out, your fingers trailing along the curve of his muscle, slow and deliberate. “Hmm,” you said, pretending to consider it, but your touch lingered, your nails just barely grazing over his skin. Jake swallowed hard.
“Not bad,” you finally said, lips quirking. “But I’d still appreciate Jay’s more.”
For a split second, something in him stuttered. His breath hitched before he could stop it, his playful smirk faltering as your hand remained on his arm just a second too long. His brain scrambled, short-circuiting between the feeling of your fingers on him and the way your lips formed those words.
He forced himself to roll his eyes, to plaster on some version of nonchalance before his face gave him away. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You’re just jealous.”
You stepped a bit closer to him, your chest nearly brushing against his, and poked him right in the middle of his chest. Shooting him a fake pout. “You know, Jake, if you’re trying to impress me, you’re gonna have to do better than that.”
Oh. Oh, shit.
His brain blanked for a beat, completely wiped clean.
He could see every tiny detail of your face. The slight overline of your lipstick, the way your lashes curled, the teasing glint in your eyes that made his stomach flip. He could smell the floral tinges of your perfume.
Jake raised an eyebrow, willing his voice to stay steady. “Oh, yeah? What would impress you, then?”
You tilted your head, your expression as innocent as ever: "Hmmm. Maybe if you could actually cook this lasagna without burning it,” you mused, tapping a finger to your chin, “or, I don’t know, if you could actually keep up with Jay at the gym.”
Jake opened his mouth to retort, but before he could say anything, the sound of the front door opening interrupted him.
“Uhh, am I interrupting something?” Jay’s voice came from the doorway, his tone laced with amusement as he took in the scene. 
You didn’t miss a beat. “Not at all! It’s actually perfect that you’re here. We were just talking about you.” You turned to Jay with a bright smile, completely unbothered. “Do we put celery in lasagna, yes or no?”
Jake blinked, his face heating up as he took a step back from you. Okay, what the hell just happened? He glanced at Jay, who was now grinning at Jake.
He raised an eyebrow, looking between the two of you. “Celery in lasagna? That kinda feels like a crime Y/N.”
“That’s what I said!” Jake exclaimed, grateful for the distraction. His heart was still beating way too fast.
You rolled your eyes. “Okay, okay, no celery. Got it.”
After Jay hung up his jacket and washed his hands he dropped on the high stool in front of the counter Jake and you were currently back to cutting up the definitely over average carrot and the onion, bickering over how big the pieces should be. “Is there a reason why you two are trying to set our kitchen on fire?”
“Well until now nothing has been on fire. And we just were in the mood for lasagne.”, you said with a nod. 
“For the record, I have been bullied into this and I am innocent.”, Jake said, looking at Jay who gave him a knowing facial expression. Well not really knowing, actually. There was nothing to know. Or at least shouldn’t, right?
You shot him a look, waving the knife in his direction. “Sounds like a you problem, Jakeyboy, now go and try making the sauce.”
Jake groaned but obediently grabbed the pot of tomato sauce you’d set on the stove. He turned the burner on. “How high should this be?”
Jay groaned and stood up, moving towards the two of you. “Oh my god. You are going to burn the kitchen.”
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You were sitting in the stands of the ice hockey rink on campus, waiting for Jake to finish his practice for the day. Usually, you would have waited outside, but the weather was atrocious, cold, windy, and raining sideways, so you opted for the lesser evil: the freezing arena. 
It wasn’t ideal, but at least you weren’t getting drenched. You curled up on the hard plastic seat, wrapped in Jake's hoodie. He had tossed it your way when you complained about the cold earlier, your suit pants and the t-shirt you were wearing were warm in the lab with your lab coat on top but you were freezing in the rink. You pulled your noise-canceling headphones over your ears and attempted to focus on your notes. You’d been at it for a while now, trying to memorize the damn nerves of the human leg, but you’d officially hit your limit when the Nervus obturatorius made you lose your own damn nerves.
With a frustrated sigh, you gave up, glancing toward the ice.
Your eyes found Jake immediately, not that you were looking for him. He was just easy to spot, standing out among his teammates, moving across the ice with a confidence that was second nature. His strides were powerful, effortless, muscles flexing under all that gear. He didn’t lie when he told you that he was good. 
It was weird seeing him like this, so focused. You were so used to the version of him that never took anything seriously, always smirking, always teasing. But here, in his element, he looked different. Determined. Sharp. A little more grown up than the Jake you met years ago. You couldn’t understand how his father could not see how much Jake loved and needed this sport. On the ice he was just ruthless. You definitely weren’t an expert, but after a bit of research you figured out that quite a few players graduated from DA and immediately went into the NHL. You were sure that if Jake tried he would get in. He just needed a small little push to even try. 
And then, like he felt you watching, Jake skated past the glass, catching your gaze. And then, the bastard winked at you before turning back to his drill like nothing happened.
You rolled your eyes, but smiled fondly nonetheless.
You saw him all the time now. The weekly cafe dates-not-dates became a thing and then the Wednesday post-practice hangout just happened after he asked you to wait until his practice was over so he could walk you home. And your study dates-not-dates? Well, if you had to suffer, he had to suffer, too. And most of the time they ended with free food for you after wards, so who are you to complain? 
 And maybe–just maybe–you didn’t mind it. Jake was steadily slipping into the role of your best friend, weaving his way in before you even realized it. Even your friends accepted him when he first barged into one of your study sessions and now he had the pleasure of being your dummy victim for the last month and a half. He didn’t seem to mad about it any you genuinely enjoyed him being around. Sometimes you looked forwards to studying just cause it meant you and Jake went out for dinner afterwards. Like you did with the cafes, you are trying out a new restaurant every week. So far your favourite one was the small Mandu place that was in one of the rather creepy alleyways around your subway station. You had Jake with you, right, your scary kinda buff hockey playing…friend. 
Before you could think too hard about that, the practice wrapped up. The guys disappeared into the locker room, and you forced yourself to refocus on your notes, determined to actually learn something before Jake finished showering.
It was quiet for a while, the rink mostly empty, just the occasional distant noise from the locker room. You were so focused, that you didn’t hear him approach.
Until–
“Boo.”
You screamed. Loud.
Your headphones flew off, your tablet nearly tumbled off your lap, and your heart slammed against your ribs.
Jake stood behind you, doubled over, laughter spilling from his lips, hands on his knees as he wheezed. “Oh my God–your face–”
“You asshole!” You smacked his arm, still clutching your chest. “What is wrong with you?!”
He was still grinning, eyes bright with amusement, hair damp from his shower. He was in sweats now, his hockey bag hanging off his shoulder.
“You scare way too easy,” he teased and dropped down on the seat next to you.
“You loomed!”
He snorted. “I stood there.”
“You loomed,” you insisted, glaring at him.
Jake just smirked, then nudged your knee with his. “Are you waiting for me?”
You rolled your eyes. “No, I just love freezing my ass off in an ice rink for fun.”
“Aw, Y/N, you’re so cute,” he teased, reaching out to pat your hair like you were some little kid.
You smacked his hand away with a huff, shoving your iPad into your bag. “Fuck you, Jake.”
He shrugged, standing up and holding out a hand. “Nah, man, I’d rather have someone else do that job.”
Your eyebrows shot up as you took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. “Oh?” You tilted your head, voice dripping with faux curiosity. “Missionary? Or cowboy? Maybe 69?”
Jake snorted, shaking his head. “Reverse missionary. I wanna see the face of whoever has the pleasure of feeling Jake Junior doing his magic.”
You lost it, laughter spilling out of you. “Sure, Jake.”
Still giggling, you started walking toward the exit together. 
Jake shot you a side glance, smirk still firmly in place. “Okay, but for real, if I had to pick a second-favorite position–”
You groaned. “Why are we still on this?”
“Because you asked,” he pointed out, completely unbothered.
You gave him an exasperated look but played along. “Fine. What’s Jake Junior’s backup move?”
Jake pursed his lips, pretending to think. “Reverse cowgirl is solid. Great view, minimal effort.”
You snorted. “So, you’re lazy.”
“I prefer efficient,” he corrected, giving you a pointed look.
You hummed as if considering it. “Okay, but wouldn’t that make missionary way too much effort for you?”
Jake gasped dramatically. “Excuse you, I give 110%.”
“Sure you do.”
“You doubt my skills?” He placed a hand on his chest, feigning offense. “Wow. I thought you believed in me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh yeah, I totally sit around thinking about your sexual performance.” Actually 16 year old you did. Whenever Sophia told you about what they were doing. How good he was. But 21 year old you hasn’t really done so. In quite a while. Maybe you should think about it again. 
Jake wiggled his eyebrows. “You should.” 
You shoved his shoulder, laughing again.
You reached the heavy entrance door to the rink and when Jake used his shoulder to open it you.
Your hands were still linked. His hand was warm in yours and you could feel the calloused skin on the inside of his palm pressing against yours softly.
Huh.
You should’ve let go.
Neither of you did.
“Yo, lovebirds!”
You looked up to see Jay leaning out of a car in the parking lot, grinning like an idiot.
“Are you getting in or gonna stand there holding hands all night?”
Your stomach dropped.
You let Jake's hand go like it burned, stuffing your own into your hoodie pocket.
Jake looked completely unbothered. He just shoved his hands into his own pockets, glancing at you with an easy smirk. “You jealous, man?”
Jay laughed. “Yeah, bro, I’m really heartbroken over not being the one holding your hand.”
You gasped and clutched your chest dramatically. “Oh my god. Jake! You should have told me you are with Jay! I can’t  get in between your homoerotic love-hate relationship!”
You quickened your pace and Jake jogged after you, still chuckling under his breath.
The moment the doors shut, Heeseung turned in his seat, eyebrows raised. “So… when were you guys planning on telling us?”
You blinked. “Telling you what?”
Jay scoffed. “Oh, come on. The looks, the hand-holding, the fact that you guys are basically attached at the hip these days.” He turned back toward the front, muttering, “I still can’t believe I had to witness you flirting in the kitchen while almost burning it down.”
“Hey! It didn’t burn down!”, you protested, not focusing on the flirting part. You still weren’t sure what happened there, but you knew that you definitely liked Jake's reaction. 
Jake stretched his legs out, completely relaxed. “You sound jealous, man.”
“Duh,” Jay said immediately. “We’ve been through so much, Jake, and you go and fall in love with someone else? Unreal.”
You choked. “Excuse me?”
Heeseung laughed and reversed out of the parking spot. “Damn. Jake you really haven’t asked her yet?”
You stiffened. “Because there’s nothing to ask.”
Jay turned back around, unimpressed. “Uh-huh. Sure. Y/N, you hang out more with Jake than I do, and I live together with him. I sure know when my homo-erotic lover is about to ask his loser best friend to be his girlfriend.”
Jake let out a low, dramatic sigh, tilting his head back against the seat. “Man. It’s so hard being this wanted.”
You smacked his arm. “Shut up.”
Heeseung laughed. “C’mon, you really expect us to believe you’re not together? Like, at all?”
“Yes!”
“Then what are you?”
Your mouth opened. Then closed.
Jake glanced at you, amused, like he was waiting to see what you’d say.
You inhaled sharply. “We’re just friends.”
Jay hummed. “Friends who go on, what, three dates a week?”
Jake shrugged. “Gotta make time for my favorite person.” 
And you said “We aren’t going on dates!”, at the same time. 
You snapped your head toward him. “Jake.”
He just smirked and you hit him again.
Jay and Heeseung groaned at the same time. “Oh, my God.”
You groaned back, louder. “Oh, my God, what?”
“Nothing,” Heeseung said, clearly not meaning it. “It’s just exhausting watching you guys be this in denial.”
You crossed your arms, fully exasperated now. “There’s nothing to be in denial about.”
Jay just shook his head. “Right, right. Tell me that again when you’re not literally sitting in his favourite hoodie.”
Your stomach dropped. You glanced down.
…Shit.
You were wearing Jake’s hoodie. That said nothing though. You wore them often. You had the talent to not bring weather appropriate clothing, mostly because your outfits wouldn’t look good if they were weather appropriate. You’d rather freeze than wear a ugly jacket.
Jake grinned, looking way too entertained. “I told you to bring your own.”
You kicked him and leaned forward. “Jongseong Park, are you seriously saying you don’t believe in cross-gender friendships? Psychologically, they’re crucial for emotional intelligence, breaking down gender stereotypes, and even improving romantic relationships. Anthropologically, they’ve played a key role in human survival!” You gesticulated between you and the two of them sitting in the front. ”Men and women have always worked together, forming alliances and strengthening social cohesion. So, like, without cross-gender friendships, we probably wouldn’t even be here. So maybe you should get some female friends first, to improve your social and emotional skills and not judge Jakeyboy and me because we can be friends without fucking each other.”
Heeseung and Jay just stared at you.
Mouths slightly open, eyes blinking slowly, processing the absolute monologue you just hit them with.
Jake, however, just grinned and leaned back in his seat.
“Man,” Heeseung said, finally breaking the silence. “I actually forgot you were smart.”
Jay whistled lowly, shaking his head. “Damn. And she’s hot too. Unbelievable.”
Heeseung turned to Jake, looking him up and down with newfound pity. “Bro. You do not deserve this.”
Jake scoffed. “Excuse me?”
Jay started the motor and shook his head dramatically. "Dude. You’re dating a nerd. I've lost my nerd to another nerd. I knew I was never enough for you."
"I'm not dating her!" Jake protested.
"You wish you were dating her," Heeseung shot back, grinning.
You nodded solemnly. “Jay’s the real loser here.”
Jake groaned. “You guys suck.”
Jay ignored him, shaking his head as if he was still in mourning. “I mean, I thought we had something special, you know? And then he goes and picks her?”
You sighed dramatically, shaking your head as if truly mourning Jay’s heartbreak. Then, with the most sympathetic look you could muster, you placed a hand on his shoulder. You were so glad for this distraction, Jesus. You were really not in the mood to explain to yourself and anyone else what the hell was going on with you and Jake. And why you were just walking hand in hand. Why didn't you let go even when you realized. 
“Oh, Jay,” you said, voice laced with faux pity. “I am so sorry you fell for him. I can assure you that he has not been cheating on you with me. I have way to high morals for that.”
Jay let out a deep, shaky breath, nodding solemnly. “It’s… it’s been really hard.”
Heeseung placed a comforting hand on his other shoulder. “Stay strong, man.”
Jay sniffled dramatically. “I mean, I thought we had something special, you know?” He gestured vaguely toward Jake, looking absolutely betrayed. “
Jake rolled his eyes. “You guys are so stupid.”
“Stupidly heartbroken,” Jay corrected, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.
You hummed in agreement, tilting your head. “It must be painful, to think you lost your one true love to a woman who looks at dead bodies all day.”
“Exactly!” Jay threw his hands up in exasperation. “Like, what do I have to do? I’m young, I’m attractive, I come from money–”
“Yeah, but you don’t have weird hobbies,” you pointed out with mock seriousness. “That’s clearly where you went wrong.”
Jake scoffed. “Oh, so my hobbies are weird?”
“You monologue about black holes for fun, bro,” Heeseung said.
Jake scowled. "First of all, wormholes are a fascinating theoretical concept—"
"God, there he goes again," Jay fake-gagged, making you burst out laughing. 
You liked Jakes ‘weird’ hobbies. You didn’t particularly enjoy physics but if he could listen to you ramble about bone fracturing you could listen to his rambling about wormholes. It was really cute actually.
"You guys just don’t appreciate science," Jake huffed, crossing his arms.
"Not true," Heeseung said. "I appreciate science when it’s not being explained to me at 2 a.m. because some idiot suddenly had an existential crisis about black holes swallowing the Earth."
Heeseung leaned back in his seat, nodding in your direction. “See? This is what you could have, if you want to steal Jay's boyfriend.”
You just smirked, crossing your arms. “Well, Jay, if it makes you feel better, I would be treating him well. You know, take him out, hold his hand, maybe even listen to his little physics rants. Then he can home to you and treat you like the king you are and satisfy all your needs. I just learned that his preferred position is missionary.”
Jay gasped. “You’re gonna let him nerd out?”
Jake glared at you. “Don’t call it nerding out.”
“I am in love with a nerd,” Jay muttered under his breath, shaking his head.
"Oh, Jay," you clutched your chest like you were heartbroken for him. "I am so sorry. Falling for a loser like Jake must be so hard."
Jay nodded solemnly. "It is. The worst pain I’ve ever known."
Jake groaned. "You both suck."
"You love us," Heeseung and Jay said in unison.
Jake just slumped in his seat, muttering under his breath while you all laughed.
Almost two hours later you were laying on Jake's sofa bickering over what movie you wanted to watch today. You were scrolling through Disney plus while he was on the toilet when you saw two very familiar faces.
“Continue watching?”, you muttered and clicked on the picture just as Jake came back from the bathroom. “You started watching Bones?” 
Jake, dropped down on the sofa next to you, lounging with his socked feet propped up on the coffee table. “You said it’s the reason why you are the person you are now.” he said, stretching lazily. “Figured I’d see what the hype was about.”
Your mouth opened, then closed. You weren’t sure what stunned you more—the fact that he actually gave the show a chance or the fact that you felt weirdly… touched by it.
“And?” You folded your arms, giving him a pointed look.
He sighed dramatically. “It’s annoyingly good.”
A triumphant grin stretched across your face. “I knew it! I told you, you would like it!”
“Please just tell me they get together.”, he said resting one of his arms on the armrest behind you.
You pressed your lips onto each other and shook your head: “I will not spoil anything. You gotta watch Jakeyboy.” 
Jake scoffed, reaching for the remote. “Booth and Brennan are the most stubborn people on Earth. They’re practically begging to make their lives harder. They should just fuck.”
You just laughed.“I will say nothing. How much did you watch?”
He shrugged and pressed start on start. “Five seasons.”
Your jaw dropped. “Jake!”
“What?” He shrugged, grinning at your shock. “I got hooked.”
“You are insane.”, you shook your head. “Where did you find the time to watch five season in like seven weeks?”
“I mean I watched other stuff as well. But I tend to watch it whenever I am not eating anything? I don't really want to eat and look at a rotting corpse? I am normal compared to you.”, he shrugged and grabbed the blanket that was laying next to him, draping it on top of his and your legs. 
“Hey!”, you protested.
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Jake was heading out of the business building, stretching his arms above his head as he stepped into the crisp afternoon air. The sun was out, and it instantly put him in a better mood. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that you had texted him earlier, asking if he wanted to go for coffee at your café—the one where you’d had your first date-not-date. He didn’t even have to think twice before saying yes.
You loved the sun, but between your major and the sheer number of hours you spent buried in your studies, you rarely got to enjoy it. So whenever the weather was decent, you made it a mission to drag him or one of your friends outside with you. He thought it was kind of endearing.
He was checking his phone, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he read your text you sent him during class when he suddenly heard his name being called: “Jake!” 
His head snapped up at the familiar voice. A man in a sharp suit strode toward him, laptop bag slung over his shoulder.
“Uncle Jungjae?” Jake barely had time to register what was happening before he was pulled into a firm hug. “What are you doing here?”
His uncle patted his back before stepping away, smiling knowingly. “Nice to see you too, son.” Then he lifted his laptop bag slightly. “I was invited to give a lecture on venture investing. Thought I might catch you while I was here. So surprise!”
Jake blinked. “Well, you got me.”
“Of course I did,” Jungjae chuckled, throwing an arm around Jake’s shoulders as they started walking toward the campus entrance. “So, tell me, how’s school? Hockey? Life? Your father mentioned you have some exciting news.” His eyes glinted with curiosity.
Jake stiffened slightly. Of course, his dad sent his uncle to poke around.
“Uh, yeah,” he said, keeping his tone casual. “Everything’s good. School’s school, hockey’s hockey. Same old.”
“And your girlfriend?” His uncle’s smirk was all-knowing. “Your father was very surprised when you told him you were bringing someone to the wedding. Or, well that you had a girlfriend at all.”
Jake forced a tight-lipped smile, heart sinking. Damn it.
“Ah, yeah. Y/N,” he said, feeling oddly hot under the collar. “We, uh, we’ve been together for a while now.”
Jungjae raised an eyebrow. “Really? You’ve been very secretive about it.”
Jake swallowed, choosing his words carefully. “I just… didn’t think it was a big deal. And, you know, my personal life isn’t exactly dinner conversation with my dad.”
His uncle hummed. “Well, I’d love to meet her. Without your dad present. He is going to intimidate that poor girl to no end.”
Jake had always been fond of his father’s younger brother. Unlike most of his family, his uncle was consistently supportive, kind, and easy to be around. He himself didn’t have any children but it was clear he was his favorite child in the family. 
Jake opened his mouth to stall when, as if on cue, he spotted you approaching from across the courtyard.
His stomach dropped. Shit.
You were walking toward him, unplugging your headphones, wearing one of his jackets you stole over one of the summer dresses he knew you loved. You really looked cute in it. Younger, not as sharp as you usually did. 
Thinking fast, he plastered on a smile and waved you over. “Y/N! Baby!”
Your brows knitted together for the briefest moment before your eyes flicked toward his uncle. Jake barely tilted his head in his direction and widened his, just enough for you to catch on.
A second later, you nodded slightly, your expression smoothing into something effortlessly sweet as you closed the distance between you two.
“Hi, Jakey.”
If Jake wasn’t currently fighting the urge to die inside, he might have cringed at how effortlessly you played the part. Instead, he just wrapped an arm around your waist, hoping his uncle didn’t notice how stiff he was.
His uncle looked very amused.
“Well, well,” he mused, shaking his head. “Now I see why your father was so shocked.”
Jake forced a grin. “Yeah, uh–Uncle Jungjae, this is Y/N.” He gestured between the two of you. “Y/N, my uncle.”
You turned to his uncle with a polite smile, offering your hand. “It’s nice to meet you, sir. Jake’s told me a lot about you.”
Jungjae shook your hand, his grip firm. “And yet, this is my first time hearing about you.”
You laughed lightly. “Well, Jake’s a man of mystery, I suppose.”
Jake nearly choked. Mystery? He was the least mysterious person on the planet.
His uncle gave a thoughtful nod. “That he is.” His expression softened, though, as he studied Jake. “It’s good to see you finally settling down.”
Jake exhaled, squeezing your waist in what he hoped looked like an affectionate gesture.
You handled the whole situation flawlessly. “Of course,” you said, bumping Jake’s side. “I had to whip him into shape.”
Jungjae laughed, patting Jake’s back. “I like her.”
Jake swallowed thickly, forcing another grin. “Yeah, me too.”
And maybe, just for a second, it wasn’t entirely a lie.
His uncle glanced between the two of you as if analyzing something before he started walking toward the exit of the courtyard. “I was just heading to my car. Walk with me?”
Jake hesitated, but you were already nodding. “Of course,” you said, looping your arm through his.
And just like that, you were walking beside him, your fingers trailing down his wrist before casually slipping into his hand.
Jake froze for half a second before forcing himself to relax.
It wasn’t weird. You’d held hands before. But something about the way you did it so naturally made his chest feel a little too tight. He squeezed your hand lightly, trying to focus on the conversation.
“So,” his uncle said as they walked. “Tell me, Y/N–how did you two meet?”
You barely missed a beat. “Through mutual friends.”
“And how long has it been?” Jungjae asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jake panicked for half a second before you replied smoothly, “A few months now.”
Thank god you could actually act your part out better than him. He was sure his uncle would see through every lie he would try to tell him. 
The older man hummed. “Interesting. Your father made it sound like it was much newer than that.”
You let out a breathy laugh, looking at Jake with almost sparkling eyes. He has never seen this facial expression on your face but he didn’t want you to stop looking at him. “Well, when he told his dad we just put a label on our relationship but we have been going on dates since around the end of last year.”
His uncle gave a slow nod. “I suppose that makes sense.” Then, after a beat, he added, “You’re studying forensic anthropology, right?”
You perked up immediately. “Yes! Jake mentioned that?”
“He did,” Jungjae said, glancing at his nephew, knowing very well that Jake never said anything about that. It must have been his father. “And he said you were very passionate about it.”
Jake found himself relaxing more and more as you started talking about your studies. You were always so excited about what you did, and it was hard not to get caught up in your energy. He loved listening to you rambling about your cases or whatever you thought was interesting. Huh, maybe his friends were right. You were a nerd. 
Even his uncle seemed to enjoy the conversation, nodding along and asking more questions. By the time you reached the parking lot, Jake had almost forgotten that this wasn’t real.
Jungjae stopped by his car and turned to the two of you with a warm smile. “I’m glad I got to meet you, Y/N. I can see why Jake’s so taken with you.”
Jake stiffened. Oh shit.
But you just smiled sweetly, squeezing his hand one last time before letting go. “It was really nice meeting you too, sir.”
Jungjae patted Jake’s shoulder. “We’ll talk soon, alright?”
Jake nodded, swallowing. “Yeah, of course.”
His uncle got into his car, and as soon as he was out of sight, Jake let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
You turned to him with a smirk. “Well, baby, that was fun.”
Jake groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I hate this.”
“No, you don’t.” You nudged him playfully. “Come on, fake boyfriend. You still owe me coffee.”
Jake shook his head but let you pull him along.
He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or deeply concerned that lying to his uncle felt so easy at the end.
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You were listening to Kazuha excitedly talk about wanting to ride the biggest rollercoaster when a familiar voice called out.
“Yo, Y/N!”
Turning toward the voice, you spotted Jake, Jay, Heeseung, Sunghoon and their respective girlfriends walking towards your group. The moment Jays girlfriend saw you, she brightened. “Oh! Sakura, K! I didn’t know you guys were coming too!”
You met Jay's girlfriend briefly when you were having one of your movie evenings and she was very sweet to you. 
Sakura beamed, immediately hugging her. “We just got here not long ago!”
Meanwhile, K stepped forward, bumping fists with both Jay and Heeseung. “Been a while,” he said, grinning.
Jay smirked. “Dude, it’s been, like, two weeks.”
“Which is a while,” K shot back.
The group easily fell into conversation, exchanging hugs and greetings. Heeseung’s girlfriend was talking to Yunjin about a new book, while Sunghoon and Jake were talking to K, giggling like three small girls.
You shook your head with a small smile. 
At one point Jake slowed down his pace and walked next to you and Chaewon, just listening to the two of you talking about a class she already passed and you were currently suffering through. 
It wasn’t long before the others started eyeing the biggest, fastest ride in the park.
“You’re coming, right?” Kazuha asked you.
You gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah… no.”
Jake scoffed from beside you. “Same.”
Sunghoon frowned. “Dude, you’re seriously not coming? Again?”
“You know I don’t do rides,” Jake said, crossing his arms. “It’s not my fault my body refuses to cooperate.”
“Oh my god, you get motion sickness,” you realized, looking up at him.
Jake groaned. “Don’t say it out loud.”
You laughed.
The rest decided to go and lined up in the queue without you, leaving the two of you alone. 
Jake slung an arm around your shoulder, watching your friends queuing up. “Guess you’re stuck with me for the night.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, what a tragedy.”
The two of you decided to walk around the carnival on your own, not wanting to be bored by waiting for your friends when the operator told you they would have to wait at least twenty minutes. 
Jake walked beside you, his arm still around your shoulder when he suddenly stopped in front of a game stand. “Oh my god look at those plushies. They look like a cheap badly made mini version of Layla. I am going to win one!”
You raised an eyebrow, eyeing the game. It was one of those classic carnival scams–the one where you had to knock over a pyramid of weighted milk bottles with a baseball.
“Oh, are you?” you teased, crossing your arms, leaning onto the booth next to him. “Because I don’t know, Jakeyboy, this looks kinda hard.”
He scoffed, rolling his shoulders like an athlete about to enter a championship game. “Have a little faith in me.” He winked for dramatic effect before turning to the booth worker. “Three tries.”
The first ball bounced off the bottles without even toppling one.
You barely stifled a laugh as Jake straightened his stance. “That was a warm-up.”
The second throw knocked over a single bottle.
Jake cursed under his breath. You bit your lip, watching his jaw clench in frustration.
By the third attempt, you were almost hoping he’d miss just to keep teasing him. But with sheer determination and possibly some anger, he threw the last ball with a little too much force, sending the bottles scattering.
“Yes!” Jake pumped his fist in the air before turning to you with the cockiest grin. The booth worker asked him what plushy he wanted and he enthusiastically asked for the beige dog.
He handed Jake the little dog plushy and he handed it to you. “Here. A token of my victory.”
You took it, grinning up at him. “Aw thank you Jakey. Are you sure you want to give me fake Layla?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, take her.”
With your new plushy secured in one arm, you let Jake guide you toward the food stands, where the smell of fried dough was practically calling your name. Within minutes, the two of you were sharing a funnel cake, tearing off pieces as you strolled through the festival.
At some point, Jake paused, squinting at you.
“What?” you asked, mid-bite.
He smirked. “You’ve got sugar on your face.”
Before you could wipe it away, he reached out, brushing his thumb against the corner of your lips.
You froze.
It was such a simple action, something so natural, and yet your brain short-circuited for a second too long.
Jake, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed. “There. All good.”
You blinked at him. “You could’ve just told me.”
“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” he teased, popping a bit of sugar-covered dough into his mouth like nothing happened.
You exhaled, shaking your head with a laugh as you kept walking, pretending your heart wasn’t suddenly hammering in your chest.
When you and Jake made it back to the ride, the others were mid-flight, getting tossed around like rag dolls. You both stood at the base, watching as Kazuha’s scream pierced through the air, while Jay, next to her, looked like he was regretting every life choice that had led him there. The ride finally came to a halt and your friends stumbled out, looking various levels of disheveled. Sakura’s hair was windswept, K was holding onto her for balance, and Heeseung’s face had gone a little pale.
Chaewon spotted you immediately, her eyes zeroing in on the plush dog. “Well, well, what do we have here?” She smirked, poking the dog’s nose. “Did Jakeyboy win you a prize?”
You held the dog protectively to your chest, shooting her a mock glare. “Don’t insult our child.”
Chaewon burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. “Your child? Hey guys, look! Y/N and Jake had a baby!”
Sunghoon grinned. “Wow, congrats on the new addition!”
Kazuha smirked, leaning over to get a better look at the plushy. “What’s its name?”
You rolled your eyes, playing along. “Sir Fluffington the Third.”
Jake snorted, nodding seriously. “Yeah, it was a tough labor, but we pulled through.”
The whole group erupted into laughter, and even though your cheeks were burning, you couldn’t help but laugh along. 
As the teasing about "Sir Fluffington the Third" died down, Chaewon suddenly grabbed your arm and tugged you a few steps away from the group.
“So.”, she said and hooked her arm into yours. “You and Jake, huh?”
You furrowed your brows. “What about me and Jake?”
“What do you mean what about the two of you.?” Chaewon swung your connected arms slightly as the two of you walked. “You two have been getting pretty close lately.”
You rolled your eyes. “We’re just friends.”
“Mm-hmm.” She hummed, clearly unconvinced. “That’s why he won Mr. Fluffington the third just now. Because you are just friends.”
You scoffed. “I think I’d know if there was something more than friendship going on between the two of us.”
Chaewon stopped in her tracks, turning to face you with an amused expression. “Would you, though? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like everyone else already knows except you.”
Her words made you pause. You and Jake had become pretty comfortable with each other. And you really enjoyed spending time with him. But that didn’t mean– Did it?
Chaewon grinned at your silence. “See? Told you.”
“Even if there was something between us, there is no chance that his dad would let him date me.” You swallowed hard, forcing a shrug. “Their relationship is… strained, and it makes things complicated. It’s not as simple as just asking each other out.”
Chaewon’s face softened. “Oh.” She paused. “I didn’t know. I am sorry Y/N.”
You nodded, relieved she accepted that answer without pushing for more. 
Chaewon nudged you lightly. “So, what? You guys are just dancing around each other, until his daddy gives you the yes?”
You let out a short laugh. “No. There is really nothing between Jake and me. We are just friends. I would have told you if it was more.”
Oh if she only knew.
Your group had unanimously decided that the Ferris wheel would be the last ride of the evening. It was almost midnight, and most of the festival-goers had already trickled out, leaving behind clusters of drunk students squeezing in one last round of fun.
You stood at the back of the line, chatting absentmindedly with Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon as the line moved forward. You were just about to follow Jay into the gondola he and Sunghoon were sitting down in when the ride operator suddenly stopped you and Jake.
“Sorry, you’ll have to take the next one,” the worker said, lowering his hand before either of you could step into the gondola.
Jay shot Jake a look so obvious you almost groaned out loud.
He didn’t even need to say anything. You knew what was happening here. 
With an exhausted sigh, you took a step back, standing beside Jake. The doors locked with a metallic clink, and you watched as it slowly ascended, leaving the two of you stranded on the platform.
The silence stretched between you until the next gondola arrived.
As the Ferris wheel lurched back into motion, you slid into the seat across from Jake, stretching your legs out slightly. Jake, however, rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable, before blurting out, “So… Jay wants me to ask you if you wanna be my girlfriend. Like, right here. Right now.”
You let out an exaggerated groan, throwing your head back. “I knew it. I fucking knew it. We would have absolutely fit into their gondola. Man, your friends are so noisy, Jake, it's unbelievable.”
Jake tilted his head, feigning innocence. “You mean they orchestrated this?”
“A hundred percent.” You shot him an exasperated look. “Chaewon also pulled me aside earlier, asking me what we have going on.’”
Jake snorted, shaking his head. “So, let’s do it then.”
You blinked. “What?”
He shrugged, switching seats so that he was next to you instead of across. The shift made the gondola sway slightly, and suddenly, the space between you felt a lot smaller. “Let’s just tell them I asked you. That I had this whole speech about how my dad doesn’t matter and how I love you and shit. I mean we at least know now that we do look realistic.” His voice was casual, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes as he leaned back against the seat, turning his gaze to the lights below.
You let out a dry laugh. “Oh, of course. And then I started crying and dramatically said yes?”
“I mean, you could cry. Would add to the believability.”
You huffed out a laugh, nudging his leg with yours. “Pretty sure I wouldn't cry over that, Jakeyboy.”
He smirked, but before he could respond, he jolted his chin toward something outside the window. You followed his gaze and, sure enough, saw Jay and Sunghoon’s gondola creeping up alongside yours at just the right angle to peer into yours.
“They’re watching,” Jake muttered.
A wicked idea bloomed in your mind. You turned back to him, voice laced with mischief. “Should we give them a show then?”
Jake blinked. “What do you mean?”
You tilted your head slightly, observing the way the carnival lights flickered in his dark eyes. He looked—annoyingly good, if you were being honest. Soft strands of hair fell over his forehead, and the warm glow of the Ferris wheel cast a golden hue over his features.
“Let’s kiss, Jake. If you were to really confess we would definitely kiss.”
The words left your lips before you could think twice about them.
Jake visibly swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his eyes flickered from yours to your lips, then back up. “You think this is a situation that requires it?” His voice was quieter now, a little breathless.
Your heart gave an unexpected lurch.
“This is a situation that demands it.” you corrected, ignoring the way your pulse thrummed in your ears.
You didn’t give yourself time to hesitate. You scooted closer, closing the space between you, and slowly lifted your hand to his cheek. You half-expected him to pull back, to laugh it off and tell you to stop being ridiculous. But instead Jake moved. He leaned in, closing the already small gap between you, and his hand lifted – hesitant at first – before settling against your jaw, his thumb brushing featherlight against your cheek. The warmth of his palm sent a strange shiver down your spine, rooting you in place as his lips met yours.
It was supposed to be just a kiss. Nothing more.
But the second his lips moved against yours, something in you faltered.
You had forgotten what kissing felt like. Or maybe, you had just forgotten what it felt like to kiss someone like this. Maybe you just also never have been kissed like this. 
Jake’s lips were warm, softer than you expected, pressing against yours with a kind of cautious certainty. His fingers curled slightly where they rested against your face, his touch sending a slow, unfamiliar heat creeping up your neck.
You didn’t even realize you had leaned into him until the gondola creaked slightly, shifting under the movement. Your fingers instinctively gripped the fabric of his jacket, pulling ever so slightly.
And for a fleeting moment, the world outside the small metal cabin disappeared.
No carnival. No friends watching from another gondola. Just the feeling of his mouth slanting over yours, his thumb tracing absentminded circles into your cheek.
Your lips still tingled when you pulled back. Your breath came just a little too fast.
Jake swallowed, his hand slipping from your face as if he had just realized where it had been. His eyes flickered across your face, lingering for a second too long on your lips before he cleared his throat.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The distant sound of the carnival buzzed around you, and the Ferris wheel continued its slow rotation.
You swallowed, trying to regain some semblance of control. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
Jake couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah, it’s definitely... uh, not something I thought I’d be doing today.”
Your brain still felt scrambled.
“So was that a yes to my proposal to be my fake girlfriend until the wedding?”, Jake nudged your shoulder.
You rolled your eyes and hit him with Sir Fluffingtin the Third. “Go fuck yourself Sim.”
He shook his head and said with a serious expression. “Y/N, we already had that conversation. I need another person for missionary!”
You snorted and hit him again. “You are such a looser, Jakeyboy. But yeah if we can convince the others that we are unbelievably in love with each other until the wedding in two weeks then your dad should believe us as well, right?”
“I hope so.”, his gaze flickered back to Jake and Sunghoons gondola. 
When your gondola finally came to a halt, you took the chance to breathe, pushing the strange tension aside as you stepped out. The second your feet hit the ground, you felt like you had just snapped back to reality. Jake was right behind you, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket as you rejoined your friends.
Jay and Sunghoon were waiting and from the way their eyes flicked between you and Jake, they were definitely hoping for a post-ride recap.
You shot them a tight-lipped smile—the universal signal for don’t ask—before slipping away to where Kazuha and Yunjin were waiting.
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The moment they stepped through the front door, Jake barely had time to kick off his shoes before Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon practically ambushed him “Alright,” Jay started, crossing his arms. “Talk.” “What?” Jake scoffed, trying to walk past them, but Heeseung blocked his path. “You know what,” Sunghoon drawled, leaning against the wall with an all-too-knowing smirk. “We saw you.” Jake’s stomach dropped. “Saw what?”
Jay rolled his eyes. “Dude, the kiss.” Jake opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again. His brain was still partly fired. Jay clapped a hand on Jake’s shoulder, grinning. “So? You finally asked her out?” Jake exhaled, running a hand through his hair. He knew this was coming. He prepared for this. But still, something about the way they were all looking at him made him… hesitate. “Yeah,” he said finally, keeping his voice even. “I did.”
Sunghoon let out a sharp whistle. “About damn time." Jake forced a chuckle, even as something inside him twisted uncomfortably. “Yeah, yeah.” Heeseung nudged him. “So what did she say?” “She said yes.” The words felt strange on his tongue. Like a half-truth. Because technically you did say yes—just not in the way they all thought.
Jay grinned, shaking his head. “Man, I knew it. I knew she’d say yes.” Jake stiffened. “What?” “Come on,” Jay scoffed. “It’s so obvious. This girl looks at you with hearts in her eyes. The way the two act around each other is almost disgusting, Jakeyboy.” Jake swallowed and Jay narrowed his eyes. “Alright, walk us through it. What did you say?”
Jake exhaled sharply, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean… what do people usually say? I told her I liked her, and that I wanted us to be together.” It wasn’t technically a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth. Heeseung hummed, clearly unsatisfied. “And what did she say?” Jake shrugged, trying to play it off. “She said yes." Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? Just ‘yes’?”
Jake scoffed. “What, you want a full transcript?”
Jay grinned. “Yes, actually.”
Jake groaned, pushing past them to collapse onto the couch, but they all followed.
“Okay, fine.” He tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling like it held the answers. “She said she already knew you guys were orchestrating the whole thing and that it was really obvious.”
Jay smirked proudly. “You’re welcome.”
Jake rolled his eyes but continued. “And then I said something about how my dad doesn’t matter, and how I like her and all that.”
Sunghoon squinted. “Do you like her?”
Jake blinked. “I mean, yeah? I wouldn’t be dating her if I didn’t.”
That seemed to satisfy them for a second, but then Jay continued.
“And the kiss?”
Jake stiffened, suddenly hyperaware of the phantom feeling of your lips still lingering on his.
“What about it?”
Jay scoffed. “Dude, come on. How did it feel?”
Jake hesitated, searching for the right words, but the only thing that came out was, “…Good?”
Sunghoon snorted. “That’s it? Just ‘good’?”
Jake groaned, running a hand down his face. “What do you want me to say? It was nice, okay?”
Later that night, Jake lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts an absolute mess. What the actual fuck was happening? How did you agreeing to be his fake date for your exes weeding escalate into him being your “officially” your boyfriend in front of all your friends. Now, he had to keep up the act every time someone was around.  Jake exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. He was completely and utterly fucked. Because now he knew how your lips felt against his, how they tasted faintly like the sweet funnel cake and cigarettes, how your fingers skimmed over his skin so lightly it sent a shiver down his spine. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to stop replaying it over and over again. It wasn’t supposed to feel like that. It wasn’t supposed to leave him breathless, heart racing, craving more even after you had pulled away. This was supposed to be fake. 
It was supposed to be just for show, something to sell the act. But the second you had gotten close, the moment your fingers ghosted over his cheek, he had completely forgotten about the act. He had forgotten everything except how warm your lips were against his, how effortlessly you fit against him, how badly he wanted to pull you even closer. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Jake turned onto his side, gripping his pillow like it would somehow help him make sense of this. Pretending for a weekend? Doable. Pretending in front of your friends? A little more complicated, but still manageable. But pretending to himself? That was a whole different problem. So why the hell did it feel so real?
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Not even 24 hours later the reason why everything had to at least look real called him.  Jake was toweling off his hair when his phone rang. He sighed and stared at the screen for a second before answering. “Jake.” His father’s voice was clipped, businesslike. “I’ve been looking into this Y/N girl.” Jake’s stomach dropped. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course, you have.” “I have to say, I’m not convinced she’s a good fit for you. Jake clenched his jaw. “And what exactly does that mean?” “She doesn’t… carry herself the way I expected,” his father continued. “Her parents might be working as doctors but she-” He exhaled sharply, like the conversation itself was tedious. “She is not exactly what people will expect from you.” Jake’s grip tightened around the phone. God forbid he date someone who doesn’t look like she walked out of a country club. “Not everything is about appearances,” Jake muttered, rolling his eyes so hard he was surprised he didn’t get a HD view of his brain. “I don’t know if this is the right choice for you.”
Jake gritted his teeth. “It’s not a choice. “Isn’t it? Do you think she is a good fit for you?”  Jake’s stomach twisted. What the hell does that mean? He wanted to ask, but he already knew he wouldn’t get an answer. His father was careful with his words, always just vague enough to sound concerned rather than cruel. But Jake knew what he meant. She’s not good enough.  Jake’s fingers dug into the fabric of the towel. His father continued. “You’ll be bringing her to a wedding where people will talk, Jake. You need to think about what that means. For you. For us.” Jake squeezed his eyes shut. This was exactly why he even considered the whole fake dating thing in the first place. To get his father off his damn back. But instead, he was just under even more scrutiny. Jake’s jaw clenched so hard it hurt. He wanted to tell his father to shut up, to fuck off, but instead, the words that came out were:
“I love her.” Silence. Jake could hear his own breathing, too loud in his ears. Where the hell did that come from?
His chest felt tight, his own words echoing in his head. But the moment they left his mouth, he knew. He knew. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t saying it just to shut his father up. He wanted to mean it. His father finally spoke, voice unreadable. “Do you?” Jake swallowed. Yeah. Yeah, he did. It was terrifying. It was also the easiest truth he’d ever admitted. “Yeah,” he said, voice hoarse. Another pause. Then— “I hope, for your sake, that’s true.” And then the line went dead.
Jake stared at the screen, still gripping his phone, heart pounding in his ears. He had just told his father–of all people–that he loved you. And the worst part? He wanted to tell you too.
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It had been almost 2 AM when your phone buzzed next to you, pulling you out of a deep sleep. Groggy, you reached over, squinting at the screen. Jake’s name flashed in the dim light. You rubbed your eyes and blinked, half-asleep.
Jakeyboy Are you awake?
You smiled a little, even though you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to be awake right now.
You Yes, now i am. What's up?
A beat passed, then another text came through almost immediately.
Jakeyboy Do you wanna get ice cream? At the GS25 in front of the campus
You frowned, pulling yourself out of bed. You glanced at the clock. 1:47 AM – well, there was no way you were going back to sleep now. You threw on a hoodie, grabbed your phone, and slid your feet into a random pair pajama pants. Your hair was still braided, messy from the day, but you didn’t care.  The GS25 was halfway between your dorm and his, and when you got there, you spotted him sitting on the curb already. He looked up when you approached, his eyes lighting up just a little bit. A small smile curled onto his lips. “You look cute,” Jake said, his gaze scanning over you with an easy affection. Your heart fluttered, but then you looked down at your pajamas and felt a little self-conscious. You couldn't help it. “Thanks,” you mumbled, suddenly feeling awkward about your unkempt appearance. Jake noticed the shift in your mood right away. “Hey, don’t do that. You really do look cute. I mean it.”
You tried to brush it off, offering him a small smile. “I’m just wearing pajamas.” “Well, pajamas look good on you,” he said casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world. You felt a little warmer at that. You both went inside and bought ice cream, then sat outside in front of the store. The cool air stung your skin, but it felt good, somehow. You rested your head on his shoulder, feeling comfortable, though the silence between you felt oddly thick tonight. Finally, Jake broke it. “My dad called,” he said suddenly, his voice a little tight. You pulled your head away slightly, looking at him, concerned. “What did he want?”
Jake didn’t meet your eyes, and you could see the way his jaw tightened. “He basically told me that he thinks you aren’t a good match for me.” He waved vaguely, his voice was tight, like he was swallowing frustration. “He was like ‘I expect the best out of her’. He expects you to be perfect, so that for the media we can play the picture perfect couple and family and shit. I hate it so much Y/N." Your heart sank. You wanted to comfort him, to tell him it wasn’t right, that he didn’t deserve that kind of pressure. But you didn’t know how to begin. Jake let out a bitter laugh. “Honestly, I don’t care. I’m just so tired of hearing it. I don’t want to be what he wants. I want to do what I want.”  It wasn’t fair, what his dad was putting him through. It wasn’t fair to expect Jake to conform to someone else’s vision of what his life should look like. Your voice was softer than you wanted it to be. “Jake, I—" He cut you off before you could finish. “I’m just saying, it’s not like this is all pretend. I mean... I really like you. You are one of my closest friends right now. You know that, right? And I don’t want him to actually hurt you when you meet at the wedding. He is going to be an asshole to you.” 'One of my closest friends' Somehow that stung a bit but you couldn’t help but feel touched by how much Jake seemed to care about protecting you, even in this mess of a situation. But the more you thought about it, the more confused you got.  Him saying you were a friend coudln't sting. It shouldn't.
"I get it." you said after a moment, trying to sound lighthearted. “It’s all good. You don’t have to worry about it. I am a big girl, Jake. If he talks shit to me i will politely talk shit back at him." Jake didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he dropped the subject. You both sat in the silence for a while, eating your ice cream.  “Jake…” you started, biting your lip. “What was your childhood like? You don’t have to tell me, but… I guess I never really asked and you tend to not talk about it.” Jake was quiet for a long time. So long that you almost regretted asking. Then, finally, he spoke. “I spent most of my time with my uncle,” he said quietly, his gaze distant. “He was the only one who actually cared about what I wanted. I think… I think he’s the reason I still have a little faith in family. He’s the reason I got into hockey and he convinced my Mom to convince my dad. He was always supportive. My mom is too, but sometimes I feel like her focus is more on Joshua than on me.” You could feel your heart ache at the vulnerability in his words, and you nodded slowly. “That’s really nice. I’m glad you had him. He seemed nice.” Jake smiled faintly. “Yeah. I love him a lot.” He paused, eyes drifting to the side for a moment. “I had a good childhood, overall. Just... complicated sometimes. But, I guess that’s kind of everyone’s story, right?”
You hesitated again, your fingers gently touching the edge of his hand. “Yeah,” you said, your voice quieter. “I think everyone’s got their own stuff they’re working through." Jake was silent again. You got up and tossed your trash into a bin nearby, giving him a moment to just think. When you sat down he put his head onto your shoulder. It had to be uncomfortable for him but he carefully took one of your hands, playing with your fingers. He almost startled you when he started talking again. “I never loved Sophia.”
You stilled. “I thought I did, at the time. Or well I wanted to.” He let out a humorless chuckle. “But looking back… I never felt all that shit people talk about. The butterflies, the excitement, the–whatever it is that makes people fall in love.” You didn’t say anything. You just let him talk. “I started dating her because I knew my dad would like it,” he admitted, his voice laced with something bitter. “And she liked the attention. We looked good together, so it just… made sense. My friends teased me about it, and I thought, ‘Maybe this isn’t stupid.’ Maybe it would shut my dad up for a second.” Jake exhaled, staring down at your hands and softly closed his fingers around yours. “But it was never real. Not for either of us. She liked the image. I liked the approval.” He let out a dry laugh. “She was still my first everything, though. First kiss, first… all of it.” He swallowed. “And then she cheated. With her best friend’s boyfriend.” Your heart clenched. You weren't sure what hurt you more back then. Sophia or Maruc's betrail. “You told me when you found out.” His voice was quiet now, distant. “And when I confronted her, she wasn’t even really guilty. She just… looked at me and said, ‘You knew this wasn’t real, Jake. We both did. And you know the worst part?” He lifted his head rom your shoulder and finally met your gaze. “My dad blamed me. He said it was my fault she strayed. That if I’d been a better boyfriend, if I had been more–” He stopped himself, his jaw tightening. You’d known his dad was awful, but this–this was worse than you expected. It was cruel. It was disgusting. Jake had been a kid, figuring things out, and his father had just used it as another way to tear him down. Another way to remind him he’d never be enough. “That’s not fair,” you whispered, your voice thick. You felt an ache in your throat, something dangerously close to anger. “That’s not fair to you at all.” Jake blinked, like he wasn’t used to hearing those words, and his brow furrowed in confusion, as if he didn’t understand why you were so upset for him. You tightened your grip. “You didn’t deserve that, Jake.” God, he really hadn’t. He was kind, funny, a little cocky but never mean. And he had spent his whole life trying to meet impossible expectations that only left him feeling like he was failing.
It was quiet for a long moment before you spoke again. "When I found out that they were sleeping with each other I felt my world collapse. Suddenly nothing made sense anymore. Marcus was my first too, in everything.", you focused your gaze on your intertwined fingers, softly squeezing his hand. "Sophia was what I thought was my best friend. I told her everything and I followed both of them like a little duckling." You chuckled bitterly. "I was so swooned by their world. Being rich and influential. Going to all these cool events. I didn't even realize that I hated every second of it. I did so many...things with Marcus that I am not proud of. Most of the stuff I really didn't want to do but I was young, stupid and I think I was in love. Those stupid butterflies betrayed me. I should have never been excited for anything I did with that asshat, but I was and in the end I was the one heartbroken."
You sighed dramatically, shaking your head again. "So I don't really think you missed out on much. At least you didn't get your herat broken in millions of pieces. " As as soon as the words left your mouth, you saw Jake’s face soften in a way that made your chest tighten. His eyes were fixed on you. He shifted slightly, leaning closer, and his voice was lower, gentler. “Wait... Y/N, what... what kind of things?” There was a pause, and you could hear the worry in his voice. “What did he make you do?” You blinked at him, caught off guard by the tenderness in his question.  You didn’t want to get into all of it – not with him, not now. You really wanted to leave the past in the past. So gave him a small, reassuring smile, though it was laced with a hint of sarcasm. “Nothing too crazy, Jake. Just... stupid stuff that I let myself be talked into because I thought I had to, you know? Smoking, drinking, sex when I didn’t even want to.” You shrugged, trying to keep the conversation light despite how heavy it really felt and focused your gaze on the streetlamp on the opposite side of the street. “Just... young, dumb, and in love.” "You didn’t deserve any of that," Jake murmured, his voice tight. His hand, still gently holding yours, gave you a small squeeze. “You deserve someone who sees you as more than a way to impress their friends or boost their image.” You wanted to say something lighthearted, to push this conversation into a safer territory, but for once, you didn’t have it in you. You just nodded, your fingers tightening slightly around his.
“I’m sorry,” he added quietly, almost to himself, as if he was blaming himself for not being there for you sooner. You felt your heart soften at his words, and you smiled faintly, squeezing his hand back. "Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, Jake." You paused for a moment, then added with a light chuckle, “Besides, I'm not a delicate little thing. I’m fine." Jake sighed, his hand resting on his lap now, still close to yours. “I just... I hate that you went through all that. You didn’t deserve any of it. You deserve better.” His voice softened and you could feel those traitors in your stomach. Those stupid little butterflies whose only goal was to make you unhappy. "It's fine. Really. I didn't tell you this to make you worry about me. I just wanted to show you that you haven't missed out by not feeling all the things people feel when they are in love. Most of the time those nice feelings disappear and not so nice ones take their place. You were spared by not being in love with Sophia.", you chuckled and rested your head on his shoulder again. Trying to ignore your butterflies and all those things people feel when they were in love. You couldn't fall for Jake. You never wanted to feel the pain you felt when you saw Marcus and Sophia in his bed and everything that came after ever again.
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The bar the team was celebrating their win in was busy, but not unbearably so. It wasn’t loud enough to be overwhelming, but still just enough to make your head ache slightly.  You sat next to Jake in your usual spot, both of you nursing beers, though neither of you were drinking fast enough to actually feel it. His arm rested lazily around your shoulders, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns against your sweater. You leaned into his side, letting his warmth seep into you, but it didn’t do much to shake the heaviness pressing down on you. Your mind kept drifting back to earlier in the day. You had been fine during the lab, steady hands and a clear mind as you did what had to be done. It was routine, nothing you hadn’t done before. Usually, you could detach. Today, you couldn’t. You and four other students were working on the body with respect and professionality. But as you peeled back the skin and bone, carefully exposing the delicate folds of the young boys brain, you felt nauseous. 
Jake shifted beside you. “You good?” he asked, his voice low enough that only you could hear over the bar noise. You exhaled through your nose, nodding automatically. “Yeah. Don’t worry about it.” Jake studied your face for a second longer. You gave him a weak smile and his fingers pausing against your shoulder. He squeezed your arm gently before taking another sip of his drink.
You were half heartedly listening and laughing along to what Beomgyu was telling Jake but your thoughts were still elsewhere. You knew the profession you chose was gruesome. Your parents had tried to prepare you for it, making you sit through forensic classes, pushing you to talk to actual forensic anthropologists, hoping you’d reconsider. But you were stubborn. You applied to every university that offered a forensic anthropology major, determined to prove that this was what you wanted.  And it was. You loved it. All of it. Well, almost all of it. Because sometimes, especially when you were handling kids, or what was left of them, you were forced to remember exactly what you were doing. Those young boys and girls, long gone, their skin cold, the smell of formaldehyde replacing what should’ve been Axe body spray or cheap drugstore perfume. Faces stripped of emotion, of laughter, of life. They had futures, or at least, they should have. They should have had years ahead of them, chances to grow up, to fall in love, to make mistakes. But instead, a single accident, an illness, or worse, a person had taken that from them. 
It made you appreciate your own life more. Made you hyper-aware of how fragile it all was. And yet, what were you doing with that awareness? You were fake dating someone. To appease his father.
In some way, weren’t you just wasting his time? Wasting your own? Time that could be spent with someone who would actually be there in the long run. Someone to grow old with. To adopt a real Sir Fluffington the Third, to plan holidays, to talk about kids, to buy a home together. Someone to come home to. Someone to share the weight of days like this. Your brain, unprompted and entirely unhelpful, supplied you with a picture. Jake. Or rather, an older version of him. The thought startled you, so sudden and so vivid that you nearly flinched.
Jake?
Why was it Jake?
You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, watching as he laughed at whatever Beomgyu had just said. He wasn’t yours. He wasn’t meant to be yours. And yet, your brain had conjured up a version of him standing in a kitchen with you, handing you a mug of coffee in the morning, smiling at you like you were his favorite thing in the world. You shook the thought off. It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything. You suddenly felt a bit like you were suffocating, the warmth of the bar, the buzz of conversation, even the way Jake was still absentmindedly playing with the hem of your sleeve. “I’m gonna go for a smoke,” you murmured, barely loud enough for Jake to hear over the bar’s noise.
Jake glanced down at you immediately. “Want me to come with you?” You shook your head. “No, it’s fine.” His brows pulled together, just for a second, before smoothing out again.  And because, apparently, this was a thing you did now, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. You weren’t sure when it had started, exactly. In the week since the kiss until now you and Jake really leaned into the whole couply stuff, being a bit more touchy with each other. He was always touching you in some way, his arm around your waist, his hand on your lower back, his fingers brushing against yours absentmindedly. It was all too easy to let yourself get used to it.
Maybe it was necessary, given that in just two weeks, you’d be standing beside him at that god forsaken wedding, playing the part of a couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. To get his father off his case and to give a huge fuck you to your exes. You really hated his father. That man didn’t deserve Jake's respect and you have told Jake as much. since that one conversion at the GS25 you never missed any of his games. You send  him stupid memes or small messages to motivate him to win, to show him you were there to support him. And it worked until now. Not a single game lost. You’ve bought him so much food and pastries as congratulation gifts that you were glad he did as much sport as he did. Else he would probably be a bit round.  
But right now, you needed some distance. You needed air. And you needed a cigarette. Jake hated to see you smoking. So before he could change his mind and follow, before you could second-guess yourself, you turned and slipped outside. The night air was crisp, cutting through the warmth that still clung to your skin from inside the bar. You tilted your head back, staring at the sky, letting your eyes trace the constellations.
Life was so fucking fragile. You had known that for a long time, logically, clinically. It was something you studied, something you understood down to the very bones of it.  But today, it felt different. Today, you peeled back a boy’s forehead, carefully extracted the thing that made him who he was, and for the first time in a long time, it had rattled you. It made you want to scream. Because it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that someone so small, so young, could just be… gone. Reduced to an object on a table. A case file. A lesson. Your fingers twitched as you pulled a cigarette from your pocket, lighting it with practiced ease. The first inhale burned. It didn’t fix anything, didn’t quiet the thoughts clawing at your mind, but for a fleeting moment, it gave you something to focus on. The nicotine settled in your system, a dull sort of relief, just enough to take the edge off.
You needed to quit. You knew that. You had been saying it for years, but every time you thought about stopping, you hesitated. The craving wasn’t even the worst part. It was the way the cigarette felt like a pause button, a moment of stillness in the middle of everything. It was a shitty habit, and Jake hated it. He made that clear every time he caught you. You exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl toward the stars.
“You know he hates it when you do that.” The voice startled you out of your thoughts, and you turned to see Jay stepping outside, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. Your heart was still beating a little too fast from the surprise, but you scoffed, bringing the cigarette back to your lips. “You gonna give me shit about it too?” Jay shrugged, finally turning his gaze to you. “Nah. Just an observation.”
You huffed out a quiet laugh, though there wasn’t much humor in it. “Yeah, well. He’ll live.” Jay hummed, stepping closer. He leaned against the wall beside you, his eyes searching your face. “You’re quiet today.” You hesitated. The cigarette burned between your fingers, the nicotine was already settling into your bloodstream. You forced a small smile, tilting your head slightly as you took another drag.  “Just tired,” you said. “Long day.” You flicked the ash onto the pavement, watching it disappear into the cracks. 
Jay didn’t look convinced. His eyes lingered on your face, searching, and for a second, you thought he might call you out on the obvious deflection. It was annoying how good he was at reading people. At reading you. “Y/N-” “I’m fine, Jay,” you interrupted gently, offering him a softer smile this time. “Really.” He didn’t move, didn’t say anything right away. Over the last two months you had gotten close to Jay, through all the hours spent at the rink, at team dinners, at their dorm, at bars just like this one. And somewhere along the way, between all the forced proximity and the nights spent orbiting the same friend group, you and Jay had grown close too. Not in the same way you were with Jake, but close enough that he could read you just as well. Maybe even better.
That was the problem. Jay studied you, his hands still stuffed in his pockets. “Did you tell Jake?” You exhaled, watching the smoke curl upward, disappearing into the night. “No,” you admitted, flicking ash onto the pavement. Jay made a sound, something between disbelief and exasperation. “Dude.” You sighed, bracing yourself. “I don’t want to worry him." Jay let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “That’s not how this works, Y/N.”
You glanced at him, catching the way his brows had pulled together, the tension in his jaw. He wasn’t angry, Jay never really got angry, but he was frustrated. You’ve spent almost a whole night talking to him, when the two of you decided to stay sober and watch over your friends. You told him there that you really hated doing that. Worrying people with your problems. Life was too short to worry, especially over problems that aren’t your own. “I’m fine,” you said, lighter this time, as if saying it enough would make it true. Jay’s gaze didn’t waver. “You don’t have to do that, you know.” “Do what?” “Pretend,” he said simply. “Not with me. Not with him. Especially not with Jake.” Something in your chest tightened, the words settling uncomfortably in your stomach. You swallowed, looking away. If Jay only knew. “It’s not a big deal.” Jay sighed again, lingering for another second like he wanted to say something else. But then he just shook his head and pushed off the wall. “Try not to take the whole pack down with you,” he muttered as he turned toward the door. You let out a quiet laugh, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “No promises.”
And then he was gone, the bar swallowing him whole. You stood there for another moment, the weight of his words pressing heavy against your ribs. And then, before you could stop yourself, you reached for another cigarette.
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Jake was half-listening to Beomgyu and Soobin talking about a recent Eagles game when Jay slid back into their booth, leaning in close. “You need to talk to Y/N,” Jay murmured, voice low. “Something’s off with her. She wouldn’t tell me what’s up, so maybe you can use your boyfriend privileges to get her to talk?” Jake furrowed his brow, staring at Jay for a beat. He had noticed it too, how quiet you have been all night, how you lingered closer to him than usual. But he also knew you. He knew you hated worrying people with your problems. If he asked outright, you’d probably brush it off. You’d talk when you were ready. You always did. He figured something must have happened in the lab. Some cases were harder to stomach than others, and sometimes, the weight of what you learned stuck with you for a while. When that happened, you liked to process it alone.
But despite whatever was on your mind you still showed up for him. You always did. You had come to every home game for the past few weeks, watching from the stands like his own personal lucky charm. Jake hadn’t played a single bad game since you started watching. “I know,” he murmured, voice quieter than intended. “She’ll come to me if she wants to.” Jay didn’t say anything more. He just gave Jake a look that said he was doubting that and switched topic. A few minutes later, Jake flinched when cold fingers brushed against his arm. He turned quickly, half-hoping, half-knowing it was you. It was. You squeezed yourself back into the booth beside him, settling into your usual spot. Instinctively, his gaze swept over you.
You looked tired.
He felt bad that you were here. He knew Fridays were busy days for you. And yet, you still made time to come to his games and stick around for the post-game hangouts. The fact that you showed up, no matter how exhausted you were, meant more to him than he could put into words. When your eyes met his, something flickered across your face—an emotion he couldn’t quite place. “You good?” His voice came out softer than he meant, but it was the only thing he could think to say. You held his gaze for a second before offering a small, fleeting smile. “Yeah,” you murmured. “All good.”
Jake didn’t believe that for a second. But he didn’t push. Instead, he pulled you closer, tucking you against his side. His arm curled around your waist, holding you a little tighter than necessary. As Beomgyu and Jay started talking about an upcoming swim competition, Jake found his focus drifting. You shifted slightly in his hold, resting your head against his chest, and his thumb absently traced small patterns against your side. He took a slow breath and immediately scrunched his nose. The sharp scent of secondhand smoke clung to your hair.
He leaned forward slightly, lips almost brushing the shell of your ear. “You smell like smoke.” You sighed, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. There was something unreadable in your expression. Jake held your stare, his fingers tightening just slightly at your waist, trying to get you to stay here with him, to relax–even if just a little. “Yeah,” you murmured. “I was outside.”
Jake hummed, debating whether or not to scold you. He knew smoking wasn’t an everyday habit for you, but you tended to smoke whenever you were stressed or something was troubling you. He didn’t want to lecture you. Not right now. But then, before he could stop himself, his lips parted. “You should quit,” he said quietly. You looked away.  “I know,” you muttered, voice distant again. Jake exhaled softly, letting the moment settle. He wanted to say something else, to get you to open up, to tell him what was wrong, but before he could, Jay’s voice cut through the conversation again.
The night carried on, the noise of the bar a comfortable hum in the background, but Jake barely heard it. His focus had narrowed down to the warmth of you against his side, the way your body naturally leaned into his like it belonged there. Jay was saying something–laughing about something–but Jake wasn’t really listening. His attention flickered to you every few seconds, studying the way your fingers idly traced the rim of your glass, how you bit down on the inside of your cheek when you were lost in thought. Then the song changed. Finesse by Bruno Mars blasted through the speakers. The second the first beat hit, Jake felt his stomach twist. A chorus of cheers and drunken excitement filled the bar immediately, a wave of energy that swept through the room. It was a tradition, one that had been in place long before Jake joined the DA hockey team. Every time Finesse played, all the hockey players were expected to kiss their lovers. People made their way through the bar, searching for their partners.
"Fellas, grab your ladies if your lady fine." Jake’s grip tightened on your waist ever so slightly. It would probably look weird if he didn't kiss his girlfriend. He hesitated for only a second before he leaned in, letting his lips ghost over the shell of your ear. “It’d be weird if I didn’t, right?” You barely had time to react before he leaned in, slow and careful, like he was giving you a chance to stop him. But you didn’t. And something in him faltered at the absence of any hesitation on your part. 
His nose grazed against yours for a brief moment before his lips met yours. Soft and deliberate. It was gentle at first, almost as if he asked for permission again, and when you didn’t pull away, he deepened it slightly. His body responded without thought, the tequila on his tongue mixing with the faint taste of your cigarette from earlier. His hand slid down from your jaw to your throat, feeling the soft pulse there.
You shivered, and fuck.  That reaction alone had something deep in him stirring. He wasn’t supposed to enjoy this as much as he did. And yet, the second you melted into him, Jake felt something he’d never felt before. His stomach flipped, his chest felt too tight, and for the first time in his life, he understood what people meant when they said a kiss could leave you breathless.
When his hand traced down the curve of your spine, when his fingertips barely skimmed your skin through your thin shirt and you shuddered beneath his touch, he felt a rush of something hot and heady curl low in his stomach. So he did it again. Slower this time. Letting his fingers linger, tracing back up, taking his time. Another shiver. Another sharp inhale. Jake felt a stupid, giddy grin threaten to break through. Butterflies. He actually felt fucking butterflies.  Every little thing he did, every touch, every movement–he could feel it in the way your body leaned into his, how your breath stuttered against his lips.
He was fascinated. Completely and utterly hooked on the way he could pull those reactions from you with barely any effort. That realization alone made something snap inside him. He slid his hand back up your spine, fingers pressing into the nape of your neck, and the way you shuddered again had his breath catching in his throat. You melted into him, and it felt too easy. Too good. 
God, he was an idiot. Jake pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. He could feel your breath against his lips. “Please stop smoking. It’ll kill you.” The words were out before he could stop them, and he immediately regretted saying it. The seriousness in his voice didn’t feel right for the moment, but he couldn't help himself. He hated that you smoked. You looked up at him, and for a brief second, he thought he saw something shift in your eyes, something that made his chest tighten. His hand, still on your waist, slowly lifted, and he gave you space to push him away. But you didn’t. Your gaze met his, and he found himself unable to look away.
Shit, this was all kinds of messed up. Jake’s heart raced. He wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore, but he knew that in this moment, with your eyes locked on his, he didn’t care. He just wanted to be close to you, to feel the warmth of you, to drown out everything else in the world. Slowly, he lifted his hand again, this time cupping your jaw with his palm, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. His breath was shallow, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. 
His fingers curled at the nape of your neck, thumb grazing the edge of your jaw. He didn’t think. He just acted, pulling you into another kiss. He had kissed plenty of people before, but never once had it felt like this. Never once had it knocked the breath straight from his lungs, left his brain foggy and his chest aching with something unnameable. The kiss was slower. More deliberate. He kissed you like he wanted to learn you, like he wanted to savor every second, every movement of your lips against his. He deepened it just slightly, exhaling softly as he swallowed the small noise you made. 
You didn’t move away, didn’t push him off. Instead, you kissed him back just as slowly, just as deliberately. His thumb brushed your cheek again, slower this time, like he couldn’t help himself. And he really, really couldn’t. Your lips parted slightly, just enough for him to taste more of you, and fuck, he was done for. His chest felt too light, his stomach too full of something fluttery and warm. It was embarrassing, really. He was an athlete, a grown-ass man, and yet here he was, feeling like some love-struck kid who just got his first real kiss. He could’ve kept going. He wanted to keep going. His forehead rested against yours as he exhaled, trying to steady himself, trying to pull himself out of whatever the hell this was becoming.
Jake barely noticed Beomgyu approaching, barely heard whatever the hell his teammate was saying, because he was too busy trying to make sense of what just happened. Then, like nothing had happened, he was forced to turn away, to let go, to pretend. But even as the bar filled with noise again, even as he forced a grin and let himself fall back into easy conversation with Jay, the feeling of your lips still lingered against his. And worse? The breathless, giddy feeling still hadn’t left. And he knew, without a doubt, that he was in deep, deep trouble.
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Your apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the city outside and the occasional creak of the building. Your bed was cramped, barely big enough for the two of you, but that was the least of your concerns. The heat from Jake’s body pressed against your back, his arms around you pulling you into his warmth, but you couldn’t seem to shake the cold feeling that had settled deep in your chest. You had thought that after a long walk, after getting tucked into bed, maybe you’d be able to sleep. But sleep wasn’t coming tonight.  Your thoughts circled around that damn brain, the weight of it, the fragility of life, the way it had been so small and delicate in your gloved hands. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Kids weren’t supposed to die, to be handled like... like pieces of evidence. But that was what he had become.
This brain. The boy was someone. A person. Someone's son, someone's brother, someone's friend. He had been alive. He had thought and laughed and felt and dreamed, and now... nothing.  Jake shifted behind you, his breath warm on the back of your neck as he adjusted his position. His breathing had steadied out a while ago and you assumed he fell asleep. But his arm tightened around you, pulling you just a little close. "Hey," he murmured, his voice low and thick with sleep. "You okay?" You didn’t answer right away, pretending to be asleep. You couldn’t. You could barely hold back the tears that threatened to spill when you were on your own, but voicing out what was on your mind to Jake would surely open up the floodgates you called eyes. He was here so you wouldn’t do that, not to trigger you into doing so.
"Y/N," Jake said again, this time his voice was more awake, more alert. His hand slid up your arm, his fingers tracing the curve of your shoulder. "Talk to me." You sniffed once and blinked away a few tears. When Jake heard the noise he lifted himself onto his arm to look at you. You rolled onto your back, the tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at the ceiling, unable to look at him. "I—" You swallowed, trying to keep it together, but your voice cracked. "I held his brain, Jake." You could barely say it out loud without choking on it. "His... brain. Like, the thing that makes him a person. The thing that... made him alive." You let out a shaky breath. "I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s all I’ve been thinking about. That... he was just a kid. And now he’s gone." Jake was quiet for a moment. But then his hand moved again, his fingers threading through your hair gently, and his breath was steady against your face as he leaned in close.
"I don’t know how you do what you do," Jake said softly, his voice low but filled with a quiet admiration that took you by surprise. "But I know it’s not easy. And you don’t have to carry all that by yourself, Y/N." "How am I supposed to do this?" you whispered, voice barely above a breath. "How do people deal with this? When you see something like that and you just feel so helpless?" You sniffed again and wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. “He was killed by multiple kicks to the brain. Who could do that to a child, Jake?” Jake paused, his hand now resting on your side. His thumb brushed against your ribcage in slow, comforting strokes. He didn’t have an answer right away, and you didn’t expect one. But after a moment, he spoke again, his voice quieter than before. "I don’t know," he admitted, and there was something so raw, so honest about the way he said it that it almost made you break right then and there. "I wish I did. I wish I could tell you that there’s a reason why those people do what they do, but… I can’t. I don’t think there is." His fingers curled slightly against your side. 
"But I know you," he continued, his voice steady. "And I know that if there’s anyone who can handle this, it’s you. And I know that doesn’t make it easier, but it makes it matter. You’re helping people. You’re making sure those kids get their justice." You let out a shaky breath, your eyes finally drifting to his. They were soft in the dim light, dark with something unreadable. You searched his face, taking in the way his brow was drawn slightly, the way his lips were parted. "I don’t feel strong right now," you whispered. Jake’s lips twitched, just barely. "That’s usually when you are." For a while, neither of you spoke. You just breathed, just laid there, his fingers still tracing absent patterns along your ribs, his body still warm against yours. He was right. It wouldn’t get easier but at least you could find answers for the families in mourning and justice for the victims. 
"Thanks," you murmured. Jake shifted closer, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into him again. "Anytime," he whispered, his voice full of warmth. Eventually, your eyes grew heavy, exhaustion creeping in despite the thoughts still spinning in your mind. Jake must have noticed, because his hand moved again, brushing a strand of hair from your face before settling back against your waist. "Get some sleep," he murmured. "I’m right here."
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Jake didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. He’d woken up in your bed that morning, your back pressed against his chest, your breathing slow and steady as you slept. He should’ve rolled away, should’ve put some space between you, but he didn’t. Instead, he’d let himself stay there for just a little longer, his arm still draped over your waist, his fingers twitching where they rested against your stomach. And that was the first red flag. Because this – whatever this was – was supposed to be fake. It was supposed to be a means to an end, a temporary fix for a problem that had nothing to do with the two of you actually being together. But that didn’t explain the way he’d felt when you asked him to stay over last night. Didn’t explain the way something in his chest had clenched when he saw those tears you tried to hide.
It sure as hell didn’t explain the way he’d kissed you yesterday. How the taste of your lips was so addictive, it was the only thing he could think about all evening. He hated the tinge of the leftover nicotine on your lips but he loved how you reciprocate his kiss, letting him deepen the kiss. The combination of tequila and cigarettes being almost as addictive as the funnel cake and cigarettes was a few weeks ago.  The second red flag was that he didn't want to let you go. Maybe he was being a little overbearing, but he didn’t care. You complained the whole way to his physio appointment, groaning about how you had actual work to do and how you had no interest in watching him get his shoulder prodded and stretched, but he ignored you. He just grabbed your hand and tugged you along, keeping a firm grip to make sure you didn’t slip away.
And honestly? He was glad he did. Because the second his physiotherapist started explaining something about muscle recovery, you perked up. You went from grumbling under your breath to engaging in an actual conversation about anatomical shit that went completely over his head. Something about tendons and ligaments and how the body compensated for injuries—he wasn’t sure. But you were smiling, and you were talking like you actually enjoyed yourself. Jake sat there, half in pain, half in awe, watching you chat with his therapist while he was forced through another round of exercises. “You’re way too enthusiastic about this,” he muttered between clenched teeth as he pushed through another painful stretch.
You just grinned, arms crossed as you leaned against the wall. “I just think it’s fascinating.” Jake shot you a glare that didn’t hold much weight, but deep down, he was relieved. He didn’t know if you were actually feeling better or just putting on a good front, but at least you weren’t curled up in bed, lost in your own head. That was a win. After physio, he didn’t give you a chance to slip away. He dragged you to lunch, steering you toward a small, homey restaurant owned by a sweet old woman who always snuck him extra food. “You literally didn’t have to make me come here,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him as you picked at your plate. “Didn’t I, though?” he shot back, stuffing a dumpling into his mouth. You rolled your eyes but kept eating, and Jake counted that as another win.
By the time you both made it to his dorm, you were still insisting that you needed to study. He glanced at you from where you sat at the other end of his couch, your laptop balanced on your lap as you tried to study.  "You’re staring.", your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he blinked, realizing that, yeah, he had been staring at you. Your eyes didn’t leave your screen, but he could see the ghost of a smirk playing at your lips. "You look like you're about to pass out from boredom," you added. Jake huffed, leaning over to shut your laptop. "Not bored. Just done watching you pretend to study." You glared at him, but there was no heat behind it. "Some of us have degrees to earn, Jakeyboy."
"Some of us also need to take a break before they burn out," he countered. You rolled your eyes but didn’t fight him when he tugged the laptop out of your grasp and set it on the coffee table. Instead, you shifted, pulling your legs up onto the couch and reaching for the blanket draped over the back. Jake barely hesitated before shifting, too, letting you settle against his side as he grabbed his phone again. And that was the third red flag. Because he wasn’t thinking about how fake this was supposed to be. He wasn’t thinking about how this wasn’t part of the plan. He was thinking about how easy it was to be with you like this, how natural it felt to have you curled up against him, warm and soft and real.
Jake swallowed hard, his grip tightening slightly around his phone as he forced his attention back to the screen. He scrolled aimlessly through TikTok, but it didn’t matter what he was looking at.  "You're quiet," you murmured, and he turned to see you watching him, brows drawn slightly. Jake forced a smirk. "Enjoying the peace while it lasts." You rolled your eyes, nudging his leg with your foot, but he didn’t miss the way your expression softened after a second. "You don’t have to babysit me, you know." He frowned. "I’m not–"
"You totally are," you interrupted, your voice light but pointed. "I’m fine, Jake. Really. This happens once in a while. You know I do work with some sad stuff." Jake studied you for a moment, and maybe you thought that would be enough to convince him, but it wasn’t. He could still hear your voice from last night, the way it cracked when you told him about that kid. He didn’t say anything, just shifted his arm so it was draped more securely around you, pulling you in just a little closer. And you let him. And that was the biggest red flag of all.
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Thank you so much for reading! Lots of Love, Patty CONTINUE ON READING --⟢ PART 2 all feedback and reblogs is welcome ⭑.ᐟ ⤷ if you liked this you might also like the rest of this series ⭑.ᐟ
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ᝰ taglist. @firstclassjaylee @enhaprettystars @vantxx95 @stormy1408 @fancypeacepersona @jaylvrsworld @xylatox @bluxjun @sumzysworld @outroherrr @50-husbands
ᝰ an. part two is in the works and will be coming soon! I hope you all are excited for some heavy angst and fluff nonetheless! I also hope that I didn't make any mistakes when I copy pasted the fic in here because I had to literally go scene by scene and edit every text block :,( ₊ ⊹  
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ahsokaismyqueen · 11 months ago
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Steve Harrington x HendersonSister!Reader Masterlist
Welcome to the Steve x HendersonSister! Universe! I have so many ideas for these two, and will probably never go through them all, but I wanted to keep them in one place! They will not be posted in chronological order, but I will list them here that way. Hope you enjoy!
Idiotic Decisions - Working on a project with douchebag Steve Harrington was not something you were looking forward to doing. However, you’re surprised to find that maybe he’s just a little less of a jerk than you thought. (Season 1)
Disappointed Revelations - After working on a school project together, you had actually started to believe that there was more to Steve Harrington than meets the eye. All of that changes after an interaction with Jonathan Byers. (Season 1)
The Evolution of Friendship - After Steve is attacked by Billy Hargrove, you’re shocked to find the guy still attempting to protect you as you two go into the hub to try and buy Eleven some more time. It makes you wonder. Are you and Steve Harrington actually … friends? (Season 2)
Hold Me Tight - Ever since Prom, Steve and you had been growing closer to crossing that line from friendship to something more. During a hot summer day, a little more of that line gets crossed. (Before Season 3)
Conversations On Top of an Elevator - Well, your brother has gotten you and Steve into another mess, this time on top of a Russian elevator. While Steve stresses out, you reassure him that you’ve gotten out of this shit before, you can do it again. (Season 3)
Saving Steve - Steve Harrington has already saved your life, so it’s time to return the favor. Little did you know that would feel a little less like an action movie and more like taking care of rowdy toddlers. (Season 3)
You Feel the Same? - The tension that’s been rising between you and Steve all summer has finally been set to boiling after spending time trapped in Russian elevators together and overhearing his confession to Robin about the new girl he likes who sounds suspiciously like you. After everything, you don’t care if it ends up burning you anymore. You just know you can’t waste another second not being with him. (Season 3)
Those Three Little Words - 18+ ONLY. Steve gets upset when he finds a letter on your table from Indiana University, and it forces the two of you to confess something you’ve been trying to say for a while now. (Before Season 4)
Reunions and Future Plans - For the first time in a long time, you and Steve haven’t seen each other in three weeks since you started college. So he decides to surprise you. (Before Season 4)
Holding You to That - Steve Request. You go to get your boyfriend Steve from Family Video when Robin tells you you’re a distraction, and of course you’re not! Okay, maybe a little. (Before Season 4)
A Not So Good Day - It’s Spring Break in Hawkins, and you can already tell that it’s going to be a great, relaxing time. Well, until you find out that your best friend might be dead and the gate to the Upside Down might not be as closed as you thought. (Season 4)
Finding Eddie - After a long day of trying to find Eddie, you, Steve, your brother, Robin and Max all find your way to Reefer Rick’s house where the time finally comes to tell the truth to your ex-best friend. (Season 4)
Watergate - Dustin has a theory that there’s a new gate, and Nancy has a suspicion of where it might be. The best swimmer needs to go to the bottom of Lover’s Lake and check it out. Unfortunately, much to Steve’s displeasure, that happens to be you. (Season 4)
Travelin' Man - Well, you didn’t love Eddie’s plan, but you also didn’t see many other options. (Season 4)
Saving the World or Not - Steve’s gone off to fight Vecna while you’ve stayed behind to distract the bats. What could possibly go wrong? (Season 4)
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miumura · 4 months ago
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MAKE THE FIRST MOVE ♡ 보이넥스트도어 🪽 ✦
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( 𝓢 )﹕the more i get to know you, the more i like you !
IN WHICH with how shy they seem to be, you decide to confess to them first ────── BOOKSHELF ( 🗯️ )
──── 0t6!shy!boynextdoor x gn ! r ╱ ⌕ fluff, confession ∿ w. none just reader confessing ( or per say, wearing the pants in this situation 😝 ) wc. 1.4K+ ( 1483 ) 。 。 i finally finished my midterms!!! so….Hey…this is definitely a self indulgent hc abt shy bonedo…Gulps….😁
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MYUNG JAEHYUN
best believe that the moment you say, “i like you”, the once very confident and bubbly jaehyun turns into a complete flustered mess. he’s completely dumfounded, as if with the little signs you managed to pick up—from his not-so-subtle physical touch with you to wanting to take care of you endlessly—weren't obvious enough for you to assume there might be something more. you weren’t entirely sure of his intentions at first, but seeing the way his cheeks turned pink when you reciprocated back those actions, that was all the confirmation you needed. and despite his previous actions of boldness, it’s as if jaehyun couldn’t believe those words came out of your mouth—and they were meant for him! sure, he's made the first move plenty of times in small, almost teasing ways, but this? this was completely different. the very person he’d been crushing on months just confessed first, leaving him completely stunned. before you could think about it—to take back your confession as a joke (or out of fear of rejection)—jaehyun immediately snaps out of it in time by blurting back a “i like you too!”. now, the two of you are completely left red in the face with smiles you both can't seem to hide.
PARK SUNGHO
if anything, sungho feels like he should be calm—getting confessed to first isn’t that big of a deal, right? but as it turns out, seeing it actually happen to him feels like a much bigger deal than he ever expected. your confession is enough to send his normally composed and rational demeanor to spiral, his thoughts heading in all kinds of directions. still, sungho is nothing if not determined to keep everything together. he convinces himself that he’ll snap out of it at any given moment now, and somehow, manages to wear a calm, almost effortless expression. but don’t be fooled—beneath the surface, his emotions are anything but steady. excitement, adoration, and just about every happy feeling imaginable are coursing through him, making it almost impossible to think straight. and even if sungho wanted to take more time to be able to process what just happened, his naturally observant side quickly picks up on the slightest shift in your body language. the seemingly unnoticeable-but-very-noticeable-to-him movement of yours was enough to remind him that he has to say something. with his soft tendencies shining through, he doesn’t just give you an answer—he absolutely says yes. and because one confession clearly isn’t enough for the moment, he follows it up with one of his own. sungho simply does this after working up the courage to finally say something that he should’ve done way before. but, after all, two confessions are definitely better than one, right?
LEE SANGHYEOK
he is absolutely starstruck. riwoo completely freezes in place, blinking rapidly as he tries to figure out whether he is dreaming or not. his heart is pounding so hard that it just might burst, and he also can’t ignore the feeling of his breath being hopelessly caught up in his throat. even with the lack of his response, you can see the unmistakeable joy that lights up in his eyes. it silently gave away the fact that he also felt the same, and how much your confession meant to him. he might just be unable to say anything but give you a shy nod, a smile and a hint of blush taking over his face. it was an unspoken answer, but it was so crystal clear. he would listen intently to your words, his heart continuing to swell up with many emotions that he isn’t too sure of how to contain them. the moment you start complimenting him, it’s almost as if that was enough to make him faint right then and there. your words start hitting him ten times harder now that he knows how you feel, which makes him undeniably happy. just hearing you consistently hear you praise him is just enough for him of wanting to run out the room with how bad he was burning up. but, of course, riwoo isn’t one to just sit there and take it—no, he tries to match you, fumbling through his own compliments and maybe even attempting to one-up you. safe to say, his adorable efforts are more than enough to make it clear that the feeling is entirely mutual.
HAN DONGMIN
taesan is completely composed—at least, that’s what he’s been trying to tell himself. contrary to his sweaty palms, his eyes darting everywhere except yours, or the fact his brain is short circuiting—yeah, he is definitely doing just fine. despite him not wanting that part of him shown to you, he isn’t even completely sure of what he’s been saying for the past few minutes. a bunch of awkward “oh” and “um” slips out and believe it or not—taesan is mentally screaming at himself because the last thing he wants to do is make it seem like he’s about to reject you. that is certainly not his goal—he just happens to be processing everything you’re saying. slowly. he’s just sitting there, completely dazed, as you continued to talk—explaining why you liked him, and those very reasons seemingly filling up every part of his brain with ease. he was simply admiring you—the sole reason why he wanted to avoid eye contact—only because he knew if he looked at you any longer, he might really have no words left to say. but already, he could feel himself getting distracted, your words soon turning out to be like…blah blah blah…proper name, place name, backstory stuff…none of it registering in his brain as he’s entirely focused on you. give taesan a minute to reboot, though, and suddenly, he’s blurting out a nonchalant acceptance of your confession—like it’s no big deal. however, the moment he turns away, he can’t hide the fact that a huge smile was creeping across his face, one that only betrays him and shows how overjoyed he actually is.
KIM DONGHYUN
leehan just simply ends up nervously laughing it off because, honestly, this guy has no idea of how to react. given your usual dynamic, he can only assume you’re joking (although, normally, he would hope the flirty things you said were never that). so he smiles—completely casual, but also playful—until he catches the serious look in your eyes. now, that was the moment where everything shifted. his laugh soon falters, turning into more of a i-know-this-feeling-but-why-does-it-feel-even-more-serious kind of chuckle, especially with his heart increasing picking up its pace. with how leehan usually acts, he would’ve thrown out a teasing remark with that kind of look on your face, but this time? the words don’t even come out right. instead, he’s stuttering, fumbling, and sounding completely incoherent—drastically different from his usual self. it’s almost as if you were brought back in time, seeing the quiet and soft spoken guy from the first time you two met. now, it’s your turn to tease him, and you’re more than ready to do so. as you kept going, the redness in leehan’s ears only deepens as he desperately tries to get you to stop, mumbling protests that do nothing to help his case. that’s when you suddenly hit him with the one and only line, “you still didn’t give me your answer yet”. and just like that, he is completely wrecked. leehan practically hides behind his hands, his voice barely above a whisper as he mumbles out a shy “yes” in embarrassment. deep down, though? he’s absolutely loving every second of it.
KIM WOONHAK
congratulations, you’ve officially broken the kim woonhak. this guy is completely freaking out, and if he could, he would definitely be bouncing off the walls. but what is this poor guy instantly going to think about? that you’re joking. he knows you two are great friends—close enough that maybe this could just be one of those playful, friendly moments. but the second he catches the way you’re looking at him? yeah, that thought completely disappears, and suddenly, he’s melting into a puddle of mush. definitely pulls out the “well if you insist,” only to attempt to play it off cool, as if his heart is practically waiting to jump out of his chest at any second now. but, the second those words leave his mouth, woonhak suddenly follows along with a whole ramble about how he really feels. he’s fully convinced that his first response was awful, so now he plans on just oversharing every moment or thought he’s had about you and reconsidering your friendship with him (though he would’ve been scared to make a move to make you two pass that stage). even with him being able to somewhat pull himself together, he is still a complete mess inside. your confession is definitely not leaving any time soon—it will live rent-free in his head, for who knows how long. expect him to be smiling, giggling, and replaying the moment over and over, unable to believe it actually happened.
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‘💬’ ─── after writing this… can you tell that i was also going crazy with the lengths of these… ++ requests/ideas are SOOO welcome i fear i need to write more for my faves 🫠
BND PERM TAGLIST ( OPEN ) ─── @juyeoz @j4d
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holycowboytiger · 4 months ago
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Poly!141 x Hacker!Reader (Part 2)
GN!Reader
(It is heavily implied that the reader is autistic)
CW: Blackmail, implied murder, religious trauma, religious imagery, reader is slowly losing it- or they lost it a while back
(A/N: this is not the best chapter, I'm actually iffy about this one and the pacing, but i really wanted to show a little bit more behind the curtain, and some more about the reader- so !! tada!!)
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fuckfuckfuckfuck,,, what the fuck do you do?! Peter has the laptop,, he will see.. fuck he'll se everything,, they'll be ruined, kiss their jobs goodbye- you need to do something-
Wait... Why do you care? This man had cursed your eyes, and his fuckass boyfriends had been harassing you at work for the better part of two weeks, who cares if Peter finds those videos- who cares if the taskforce's secret is revealed, and their careers are torn into shambles?
who gives to shits if all they live and stand for will be ripped away from them?
......It's you, you care, strangely enough you might be the only one who does, this office adores some drama, and 141 being revealed would cause such a stir people would be talking about it for years on end, but you knew what else would come of it.
At the same time- do you want to put yourself on the line? Do you want to be shady and blackmail your fellow techies to protect these men? You could just leave it... It has nothing to do with you, and to take time out of your own day to help these guys out? Are you really that charitable?
Who are you kidding... now is not the time to have a morality check, you know what's right,, and what is wrong, and - maybe you care a little bit, these men don't deserve to be revealed in such a way, and you can save them from the shame the contents of the laptop would bring.....
It would ruin the taskforce's lives, all four men would be disgracefully discharged, and their names would be dragged through the dirt for years to come, and as heartless as you were, you just couldn't let it happen, maybe you could be like an office vigilante?
Batman would be proud.....
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Holy shit you're actually doing this aren't you? You're such a good person, maybe it will make up- and cleanse you of your previous sins, wash the blood off your hands of the people you laid to rest.. For good reason
those people deserved to die, you know this, as desperate and gut wrenching as their screams were, they deserved the punishment you laid upon them... Maybe this- this kind gesture will ease your mind, maybe this action will help you sleep easier
Fuck it... time to go keep 141's secret, hopefully without their knowledge.
The cogs turned in your head as you slowly worked out a plan, was it a morally correct plan? no, absolutely fucking not! but you've skinned someone alive so how bad could this be ?
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Your eyes narrowed at Peter as he took the laptop from Soap, his own eyes lighting up as Soap slapped his shoulder and thanked him,, calling him a life saver- yeah right.. If only Soap knew that Peter had a habit of straying a bit too far from home, to girls that are a bit too young for him.
Would Soap care? Surely he would right? That's something he cant turn a blind eye to right? He was a good person, You're a good person.. right? Of course you are, you're helping him out... But is it really a good deed if you're doing it for selfish reasons?
To calm the sinful thoughts in your head? Are you a good person? surely...Surely not? You've killed people, tortured people because in your eyes they're bad...
What would the big man in the sky say? He would tell you to forgive,,, wouldn't he,, what you have done,,, the people you have hurt,, there is no prayer great or long enough that would grant you passage to the pearly gates...Maybe.. Or maybe you were sent down here to do the dirty work, to do the actions your forgiving God could not bare....
You're a good person.. you are a good person...right?
you don't have time for this.. get it together, you need to get that laptop..
Rising from you desk you approach Peter, slapping on the best smile you can without looking deranged you stand infront of him.. looking like a predator whose spotted easy prey
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''Peter! Hey there...'
''Uhh,, hello?'' his eyes narrowed at you
''Hows your wife hm?'' you are great at social interaction! no really you're doing great, this is a normal structured conversation..
''She's... she's good! Do you need something?''
''Yes actually''
strike one, revealing that you're here for selfish reasons and don't give a fuck about how his wife is doing..shit
''Okay? What is it?''
''That laptop''
strike two, you're too forward
''What?''
''The laptop.''
''I-Im, not too sure I can give it to you- Johnny.. Soap asked me to take care of it''
HAH look at this loser, using Soaps name like they're friends, the guy probably doesn't give a fuck about him, he's only a tech drone, only here to take care of his technical troubles
''oh- yeah.. sure- but- but you have alot on your plate right? You're close to a promotion right? You wouldn't want to direct your attention somewhere else, especially when you're sooo close? Right?''
Ok ok- we're getting somewhere, stroke his ego-
''Yeah but- I'm sure its nothing big-''
''Peter. You seem- weary to give this laptop away.. I know you look up to the guy but- its just a device''
''You seem a bit too eager to get this laptop.''
Strike three, he's onto you, switch tactics, you need that fucking laptop.
''If you don't give me the laptop, your wife will find out who Cierra is.''
''wh-what?!''
''You heard me.''
''What,, what the fuck?!''
his eyes widened, you've got it, secured the bag,, by- strange means, but you're a strange person, it isn't ideal to let him know this early into the plan that you know of his adultery, but you don't have alot of ammo in your arsenal.
''The laptop.''
''I don't know what you're talking about.''
''Yes you do. Black hair, green eyes, freckles? How strange, I thought your wife was blonde and blue eyed Peter. And.. Isn't, Cierra a bit young for you?''
''You- You're fucking insane, I would never-''
Denial- he thinks your bluffing. Show him you aren't
''You also frequent a motel on the west side of the city- what would your wife think when she finds out that you actually did get your Christmas bonus this year? but you spent it on that little side piece of your's..hm?''
''finefine! fuck...Just - just don't''
''I wont. Just do as i say and your secret is safe with me'' for now..
Ahhhhh the sweet taste of blackmail and victory in the morning, truly a breakfast to die for... except its not morning,, its early afternoon.
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You return to your desk, trophy in hand, and you get to work quickly, afraid Soap might return too soon and see you working on his problem.
Just wipe the search history, take care of the virus, and DO NOT TOUCH THE FILE. You know what's in there and you are not curious enough to check if its been updated.
or are you?
NO YOU ARENT- BRO STOP???
anyway..
The wipe only took about five minutes, that's great! in and out, Soap wont suspect a thing! ...
You should reward yourself with a coffee! Even if you hate it, you haven't slept in days, keep yourself awake.
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Sauntering into the office kitchen, you come across someone you weren't the happiest with coming face to face with, and by the scowl you received, he wasn't happy either-
He's the taskforce's pretty boy, Gaz- or Kyle? Garrick? Wasn't his callsign because someone spelt his name wrong? Hah, loser-
Ok stop that's mean....
Forcing your gaze to the floor you approached the counter, opening one of the cupboard to reach for a mug, you were going to offer Gaz one before you stopped yourself, this guy does NOT like you- make your coffee and get out.
Would it be weird if you just left now? Took the mug with you? ..
Yes that would be so weird, but you really don't feel like making coffee whilst a member of special forces watches you like you're defusing a bomb.
You reach for the coffee tin before feeling how ...empty it was.. oh for fucks sake- Sandra that bitch, she definitely finished it- Ugh, fucking- such an inconsiderate asshole..
Now you have to put the mug back like a weirdo and leave-
''None left hm?'' Pretty boy spoke up
''Uh.... no.'' you answered
''Shame that.''
you swore, you fucking swore you saw a smirk cross his lips- that prick- he knew- he knew it was empty, and just didn't tell you, letting you embarrass yourself infront of him,
''Yeah'' fucking shame he didn't die from that fall from a helicopter
you sigh and put the mug back. Guess you'll just have to fight off sleep with pure will power, which never worked.
Turning to leave, you avoided Gaz's heavy gaze and dragged yourself from the kitchen, ignoring the urge to bash his head onto the counter.
Maybe you should leak the videos...
No- no you should not, shake your head, hes an ass, but he does good work,,, and he takes it up the as-
ok enough.
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You walked back to your desk and picked up Soap's laptop, preparing to take it back to Peter- only,, he wasn't at his desk.. Where the fuck did he go?
Is he on lunch??
No its only 2:30...
Your eyes scan the room until they land on your target, pointing at your workspace,, talking to.. Soap...oh fuck....
Peter looked flushed, as Soap glared at your desk, then his eyes landed on you, holding his laptop.. fuck...fuck... caught red handed, with your hand in the cookie jar... do you think this is the time that you unlock your secret invisibility powers? Or teleportation! anything to get you out of here
Maybe you should flee the country, change your name to something ridiculous- and oh fuck he's coming over, and he looked pissed, brace yourself! this is the day you're gonna get knocked out! in work! infront of a bunch of people, not your proudest moment but hell, it was for a good cause-
''You. With me.''
Don't fight it, just, let him take you away, maybe he'll be nice and shoot you out back, maybe he'll bury you too!
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Following him felt like you were being led to the guillotine, walking through the empty halls until you find an area that you now realise is the barracks, this is not your territory, you are out of your element, lets just hope his teammates aren't here, lets hope he doesn't jump you with his boyfriends, as much as they would enjoy it-
Soap stops suddenly, and you almost walk right into his back, he whips around with an unreadable expression, he looked you up in down, before his eyes zeroed onto his laptop, still firmly in your grasp
''Can ye explain to me why I gave Peter my laptop to fix, and why it is now in yer hands hm?''
shit.
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fatecantstopme · 1 year ago
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What I'd Give
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.
Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)
You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.
You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.
You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.
"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."
You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.
The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.
Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.
Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.
You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.
"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."
You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.
You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.
"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."
"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.
"In the flesh!"
"What are you doing here?"
"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."
"Did you come here to gloat?"
"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."
"Then why did you come?"
"To save him, obviously."
Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"
Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."
"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"
"Nothing too extravagant."
"Lucifer..." you growled.
"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."
"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."
Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."
Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.
"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."
You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.
"No," you said firmly.
"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."
You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.
"Save him first," you whispered.
Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."
You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."
"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."
You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.
"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.
Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.
It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.
To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.
Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.
"What happened?" he groaned.
"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.
Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."
You nodded.
"How am I not dead?"
You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."
Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"
Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.
"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.
"The one and only," he replied.
"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"
"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."
"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.
"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.
You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.
"Everything," he teased darkly.
"Fuck."
"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.
"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."
Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.
Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."
"Get out of her and I won't have to."
"Oh please, you won't kill her."
Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.
"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."
You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"
"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."
"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.
"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."
Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.
"So why did you heal me?"
"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.
"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"
"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."
"Convinced?"
"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."
"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.
"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"
"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"
"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."
"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."
"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."
Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"
"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."
Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.
"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"
"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.
"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."
"Well that's boring--"
"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."
Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.
"He's mad at you, isn't he?"
"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."
"Does he know?"
"Know what?"
"How you feel about him?"
"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.
"But I'm so bored," he whined.
"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"
"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."
"Shit--no!"
You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.
**********
"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.
Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.
"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.
Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"
"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.
"Sure. Come on in."
Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.
"You alright, (Y/N)?"
"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.
Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.
Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."
Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."
"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."
"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"
Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.
"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."
"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.
"Seriously, Lucifer?"
"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."
"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.
"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.
"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."
Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.
"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.
"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.
Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.
"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.
"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.
Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"
"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.
"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.
"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"
You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."
"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.
Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.
"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."
**********
You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.
Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.
"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.
"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"
"You're really no fun, you know that?"
"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."
"I can make it fun."
"I'd really rather you not."
"Too late!" he said gleefully.
You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.
Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.
"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.
"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.
"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."
You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.
Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."
"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."
"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."
"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."
"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"
"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."
"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.
"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."
"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.
"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"
"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.
He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.
"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"
Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"
You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.
"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."
You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.
"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.
"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.
"No. I'm simply having too much fun."
Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.
"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."
Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.
"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.
"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.
Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.
You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.
"You're a monster," you whispered.
"They call me the devil for a reason.'"
You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.
He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.
"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."
Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."
If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.
"Why?" you whispered.
"Why what?"
"Why'd you say that to him?"
Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."
"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.
"Where's the fun in that?"
You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.
"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.
"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.
Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.
Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.
If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.
You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.
"Please," you whispered.
"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."
"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."
"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."
"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.
Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.
**********
"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.
Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.
"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"
"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."
"Did you call Sam?"
Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."
"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."
"Where are you going?"
"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"
"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."
You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.
As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"
"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"
"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.
Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."
Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"
"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."
Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.
"I second Bobby's comment."
"I wear it like a badge of honor."
You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.
**********
Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.
Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.
Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.
"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.
"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."
"I'll be fine."
Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.
As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.
"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."
Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"
"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.
The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.
Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.
By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.
**********
By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.
"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.
"I slept for 12 hours?"
"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."
"Great," you whispered sarcastically.
"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"
"Of course."
Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.
Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.
"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.
"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.
"Thank god..."
"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."
"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."
"What if I don't want to say yes?"
Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.
The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.
Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."
"So I have a choice?"
Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."
The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.
"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.
"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."
You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.
"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.
"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.
Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."
The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"
Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.
"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."
"Will she be okay if I say yes?"
"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.
The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.
"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."
You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.
"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.
"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."
The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"
"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.
"Yes."
A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.
"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.
Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.
"Heal her," Dean demanded.
Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."
"Excuse me?"
"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."
"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"
"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"
Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.
**********
Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.
Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.
"How is she?" Sam asked.
"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."
"She's strong, Dean."
"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."
Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.
Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.
"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.
Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.
"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"
Both men nodded.
"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.
They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.
"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.
"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."
"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."
"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."
"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.
Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."
"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"
Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.
"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.
Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."
He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."
Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.
***********
Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.
He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.
He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.
"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.
He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.
"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.
He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.
"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."
"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."
She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."
Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"
"You prayed for help. I answered."
"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"
Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."
Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"
"Nothing. This is my gift to you."
"Nothing is free."
"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."
Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."
She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."
Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.
"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.
The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."
"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.
When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.
"Sam," Dean said softly.
Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"
"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."
Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"
Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."
"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"
"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."
Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.
After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."
You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.
"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.
"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.
Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.
"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.
You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.
"I have to go," Dean muttered.
"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.
"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.
"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."
Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"
"What do you remember?"
You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.
Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."
"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"
"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."
Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."
"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."
"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."
You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.
"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."
"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.
Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.
"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.
*********
When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.
Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.
"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.
"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.
You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."
"What kind of things?"
"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.
"(Y/N), just tell me."
"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."
Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"
"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."
"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."
You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."
Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"
"I have to hope he went home."
"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.
You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.
**********
When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.
Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.
The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.
"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.
"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.
You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.
Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."
"Sam," he said curtly.
"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"
"I just needed to get out of there."
"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.
"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."
Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."
"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."
"Why the hell are you leaving?"
"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.
"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"It's fine, Sam. I know."
"There's nothing to know!"
Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."
"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"
Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.
"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."
"I don't want to talk to her."
"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.
Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.
"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.
"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.
He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.
You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.
"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."
"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.
"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."
"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"
"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"
Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.
"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."
Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.
"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."
His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.
You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."
Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."
"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."
Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.
"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.
He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."
"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."
"(Y/N)," he whispered.
You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.
You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.
When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."
You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."
He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.
"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.
"Please," you moaned softly.
“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.
You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.
You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.
You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.
“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.
You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.
“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.
“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.
You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.
He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.
“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.
The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”
“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.
The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.
You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.
“Impatient, are we?”
You nodded quickly.
“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”
“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”
His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”
You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.
You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.
“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.
Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.
You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.
You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.
His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.
“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.
Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.
His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.
“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.
“Hmm?”
“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”
“No, why—Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.
He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.
“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”
The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.
Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.
“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.
His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.
Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.
Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.
“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”
He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.
“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.
Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.
He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.
One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.
“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”
“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”
You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”
"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.
His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.
You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.
He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.
As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.
Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."
You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.
Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.
Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.
"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.
"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.
He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."
Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.
"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."
Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.
He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"
"More, please," you begged softly.
He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"
"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."
"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.
Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.
"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.
"Where do you need me, baby?"
"Inside me," you whimpered.
Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"
You shook your head rapidly.
"Words, babe," he said firmly.
"I want your cock, Dean."
"Yeah? Tell me where."
You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.
Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.
He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.
Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.
"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."
You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.
You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.
Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."
"What?!" you gasped in surprise.
He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.
Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.
While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.
Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."
His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.
Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.
"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."
You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.
"Made for me, weren't you baby?"
"Mhmm," you hummed.
Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.
His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.
You simply whined desperately.
"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."
"More," you begged.
"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.
One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.
"Dean!" you cried.
He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."
He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.
You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.
Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.
"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.
You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.
He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.
He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.
"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."
You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."
He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"
Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."
"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.
Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.
The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.
"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.
"Dean," you groaned.
"Come on, my love--let go."
Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.
You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.
"Just one more," he begged.
"I can't!" you whimpered.
"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.
You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.
"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.
His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.
Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."
Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.
Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.
He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."
He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."
You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.
Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."
"Yours, Dean. Only yours."
"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"
His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.
He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.
You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.
"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.
"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.
Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.
"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.
"I'm not complaining," you assured him.
He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.
He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."
"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."
He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."
You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"
Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."
You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"
He grinned. "Really."
"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.
His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.
You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."
Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."
You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.
You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.
When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."
"But--"
"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.
He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.
As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.
You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."
He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."
You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."
Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."
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